Salut!

Hey all, it's been a while.

I went private for a while--if you've been trying to visit and found that you couldn't view the site--but I'm back to being public for the sake of posterity. I want people who are interested in my study abroad experience to be able to read my ups and downs on my year in Paris.

As for an update, I am on my way towards a film degree. French is on the back burner since my school has been facing some budget cuts, and I won't be able to complete both degrees at the same time. I've decided to go with film since it is more of my passion than French is. It was not an easy decision to make, but I think it's for the best.

Thanks again to all those who've supported me and my blog in the past. See you in another life.

Love,
Elaine

new news

Had my Tommy's burger fix yesterday at the original in LA, so I'm good for like another year when it comes to burgers. Yum.

I'm starting up another blog and will begin posting there soon since my posts here are sort of starting to be less Paris themed. The most mention you get from Paris are people's reactions to my coming back and all that. Will still try to post about my Spain and south of France adventures, but stuff keeps piling up for me to do so we'll see what happens.

I'll post the link to the new blog up here once it's ready. What's exciting about this, for me at least, is that this'll be the first time that I'll be connecting two personal blogs together. What I usually do is that I start one and end it and start new again. My old readers are usually referred to the new blog, but never new readers to the old ones. So there could still be people reading this from three blogs back. I've been writing online since middle school. So this is history!

Ever since my last One to One at Apple, I've been kind of hesitant to going back there despite the cute boys. I had to cancel mine today to take Grandma to the doctor's which I'm glad for because I was so sure I'd get the same, serious guy who was interested looking at my photos on iPhoto. Creepy, right? I forgot to mention that. Luckily, I had my production photos from a film I worked on on the laptoppy, so I showed him that.

School is around the corner, so I must bring out my inner geek and go shopping. I need a new external hard drive to store all my Paris photos and such. Also need Final Draft for the laptoppy which I will now refer to as the Big Mac unless I find a cooler name. Hopefully someone at school can beer me a copy along with Final Cut--I'm horrible I know, but I'm a poor film student. My film TAs even support the sharing of expensive softwares. I will pay for software once I get a steady job, I promise.

People have been buggin' me (most notably old classmates who know I'm majoring in film) about The Dark Knight which I will see but I wanted it to be in a setting where I won't be bothered. So will see it Imax-style this week hopefully.

You might have noticed in my Dopplr that I'm planning a trip to Las Vegas in a few weeks. Will try my hand at the slots again to see if I'm still lucky. And maybe some outlet shopping for school clothes, yay! I also love love love people watching in Vegas. It's probably one of my more favorite places to people watch.

conversion

I am officially part of the Mac family.

Kuya, being the caring, rich older brother that he is, bought me a new laptoppy today, a Macbook Pro. He's really banking on this future of mine as a film writer/director. A lot of people are which puts a lot of pressure on me. He says this counts for the next Christmas and birthday. I say it counts for the next 20.

Dad was pushing me to get the laptop now before it's too late (ie Kuya removes the offer from the table) and I finally brought it up today. I got a laptop with the ipod touch which is part of the student rebate and a printer, also a part of the rebate. Kuya gets the ipod touch.

Can I just write about how absolutely adorable the boys at Apple are? I was first helped by Eric, a New Yorker who's moved to So Cal. Tall, lanky, glasses, mentioned he misses his family, plays guitar, has dogs, and majored in Radio/Film/Television. Oh my gawd, eHarmony could not have done a better job. He gave me his card. Then went home with the WRONG computer! I was too excited to check if it was glossy or matte and found out that the screen was matte.

Took it back, and was helped by another Eric. Short black hair, stubble (love it), also adorable in madras shorts and black Converse high tops. He reminded me of this camera operator I was working with and who trained me. Looked just like him so it brought back some fond memories. He was really nice even though my order was pain. Turns out they don't make the model I want in glossy. So I got the one right below it. He sort of talked me out of 2.6GHz, the original buy, saying he and his film major friend were having this discussion before how the upgrade from 2.4 to 2.6 didn't really matter. I got 2.5. I doubt the whole discussion really happened, but whatever. He was cute and helpful and getting to talk to two cute nerdy boys named Eric in one day is more than a shy girl like me can ask for. That's probably as close to a "date" as I'm going to get this summer. Although I do have a one-on-one session tomorrow with a Genius who is going to transfer my files for me. Let's cross our fingers, folks.

Have been getting used to driving which is nice because it has AC and the metro and bus AC has been nonexistest in Paris. But with gas prices being so high, I just feel so horrible driving. I might as well throw money out the window. Was flipping channels and Sabrina was on and I came in on the part where Linus asked Sabrina, "Do you miss Paris?" My response was, "Is this really happening?"

When it comes to the Spain posts...Honestly, I don't see it happening any time soon if at all. Maybe a few posts highlighting the few high points of the trip. I'll try my best.

Friends have been asking me if I'm going to end this blog. The answer is a loud and resounding yes. It's Paris for a Year, and I'm no longer in Paris. However I will continue blogging somewhere on the interwebs. I will continue to update in a sense like organize as I mean to have this blog helpful for others planning to study abroad in Paris or in general.

bikenight

The hard reality of leaving hit me last night.Small get together for Lucia and Kathy leaving. Good food, good people, and my small studio. Lots of wine and beer consumed and then...bikes.

I feel safer nightbiking here since there's less cars. Me, Lucia, Kathy, Susie, and Susie's bf Andy, and Melissa got Velibs and biked to St. Michel (then said bye to Melissa), then Notre Dame, then along the Seine ending at the Louvre. Beautiful at night. Stood around taking pics and talking by the main pyramid until the guard told us to leave around 1 am. We split ways there, knowing full well that we might not see each other until we get back to SF. But it felt like any other goodbye but with a little bit of sadness to it. Lucia and I biked up rue Monge then turned to my street. I've always wanted to bike down my street at night.

After returning the bikes, Lucia and I parted ways saying, "See you in LA." It felt so weird to say that. See you in LA. Do I really have to go "home"? Is this really happening?

I've been spending my days writing in cafés and people watching, enjoying my quartier which has been a cinematic dream to live in, everything I have ever wanted and more. I don't think anything will ever top this. And yet I want to believe that I could have it this good again.

Tomorrow morning, I see my parents.

"Good morning Mr. Breakfast!" -- Pee Wee Herman, Pee Wee's Big Adventure

This is my morning set-up. Laptoppy by the window, English breakfast tea at my right, and some sort of breakfast food at my left. Today it was whole wheat crisps topped with the prune jam my landlord gave me. Yummy. Today the window is closed because it's cold out. I can't wait for summer.

Today marks a milestone. I am finished with another book. Yes, I write in another separate journal apart from this blog. This one dates from 13 August of last year to today. I bought this one at Borders. It's black, unlined. Cheap. My next one, that I already bought, is a Moleskine volant. Also unlined. I like it 'cuz it was pretty cheap and it's light so it'll be good for my trip to Italy.

You should try writing sometime. Not blogging, but writing. Just 10 minutes a day right before bed. It helps me re-organize my thoughts, gets me calm before I go to sleep, and I swear, it's stress relieving. I'm slowly trying to bring back the old ways.

I've been looking up stuff to do in Sicily, and I'm very excited. There's archaeological sites like The Valley of the Temples, the volcano Mount Etna (the locals refer to it as "Him"), the Aeolian islands, and the FOOD, my God, the food. Gelato up the kazoo. Cannolis, caponata, arancini...Wiki this stuff. Can you see why I'm excited?! And in a WEEK, I'll be there! AAHH!!

Movies I'll be watching to get ready for Italy:
--Roman Holiday
--The Godfather
--Only You: Does this even take place in Italy?

"Take a look at banner, Michael!" -- Gob, Arrested Development.

Here are some of my previous Paris For A Year blog banners. They were really fun to design for the blog. Some banners I saved and have the original titles and others are just the photos I used. From top to bottom they range from the most recent to the least recent. I'll keep adding as I create more. You can find this in the mediatheque section where I keep my photos and videos. Yay for memories!

condensed

Wow, have never done so much in two days! I am exhausted again. I need to start working out or something. It's hard to keep up with Stacy who is a rainbow/squirrel/ball of energy rolled into one.

She did crash the first day from jetlag which is why she didn't come to fondue. I met up with Jean and Emily at Montmartre at this fondue place that gives you wine and baby bottles. It was absolutely insane! We met up with these 2 American guys and girls who were visiting Paris, and they were really funny and cool. A great time. I had two baby bottles of wine, but only because the waiter and Emily made me do it!! Naw, he was really sweet because I spoke French for my friends and just got me one. By the end, the 7 of us were all stumbling, and in my drunkness I asked, "Do you guys have Facebook?" It was silent for a second, and I though, "Oh shit", and then they said, "YEAH!" A pen and paper was passed around and we got each other's names. So now I'm going to have acquaintances from Texas, West Virginia, and New York!

On Sunday, went to the Cinematheque since it was free. I wish I went to church for Easter, but it's hard to do the things you want to do when you have someone visiting you. God has not been replaced with Cinema, haha. Susie came too, but at the cutoff for the free entrance, so I felt bad.

After, met up with Sarah H. and I took Stacy to lunch nearby the Notre Dame. I found this decent cafe and always wanted to go there. Might go there for studying, the people are really nice, and it's comfier than the Saint Medard. I had a croque but with mozzarella and tomatoes.

We got tickets to Be Kind Rewind, then passed the time going down St. Germain. Like Catherine, Stacy likes to shop, so we ducked into a little boutique to look around. I helped Stacy get a dress and jacket. She has this thing when she knows an interesting person (like yours truly) she asks them to go with her on a shopping day where that person is her personal stylist. In exchange for my fashion advice, she buys the person the metro ticket for shopping and lunch. So, we spent one day at Union Square in SF buying her clothes.

I made her try on things she wouldn't usually wear like mini-skirts and tight jeans, because she has a cute body and should show it off. So I helped her pick dresses and jackets yesterday and told her what would go well with the jacket she bought. Being a fashion stylist is fun! I think I dress okay, not amazing, I just like looking unique and buying things that flatter my body and make me feel confident.

I also got myself a really cute skirt for spring. It's a gray prairie skirt, pleated and full, and there's a petticoat underneath with an eyelet border that peaks out under the skirt every so often when you walk with it on. It looks so coyboyish and American, I love it. I had my boots on and tights when I wore it, and that looked cute. It also had deep pockets that I could hide my hands in! I could not say no, I had to have it. Finding something cute and unique makes me happy, and it gave me great joy to wear it. It's weird how clothing can make you feel confident.

Saw the film, which was okay, I just liked the sweded parts and filmmaking parts. After, we chilled at my house since I was tired. Then, we headed to Les Caves Lechapelais for a "gothic soiree" because ladies before midnight were free. It was really cool and interesting, but I was so exhausted so I just watched all the gothic people dance. Susie made an interesting comment that she liked seeing all the "awkward" people here. It's no exaggeration that in all my time here I haven't seen a gothic looking kid, I really don't mean to generalize, but I can't find another way to say it. So does it make sense that after seeing all these cool and interesting people, I can breathe a sigh of relief that Paris isn't just Louis Vuitton and Longchamps bags and boots and skinny jeans on girls, and it's not all suits on guys or plain but nice clothing? Beneath that--in the caves (basement) for example--the awkward kids are there, dancing their hearts out to loud German music.

They had this sort of laser light thing, and it freaking looked like something out of Star Wars, it would actually shoot the light like a space gun that fires lasers or something, and I was scared out of my mind, but it was cool to watch Susie and Stacy dance to it. I was just cowering on the sidelines, trying not to get shot at last night.

Also am in touch with the web designer for Rushmore Academy (we became friends on Facebook!), and I'm going to write a report for him on Wes Anderson's masterclass at Fnac! Sweetness. I'd like to think that I'm a foreign correspondent for film in Paris. How cool would that be to live in Paris and just write in English? Kind of like what I'm doing right now.

coming to an end

Something like 15 weeks now until I go home. I have mixed feelings about it all. This all occurred to me when I realized that I was 3/4 done with my first Moleskine.

I've been a Moleskine fan since high school when I bought my first one on Irving at an adorable shop called Wishbone while staying with my brother in SF. There was something about its simplicity and history that attracted me. To write in the same kind of notebook that Hemingway and Picasso used...I wanted to be a part of that. I loved its simple design and features: the accordion pocket in the back, the bookmark, the band to keep it closed. The paper is acid free and thick enough for a fountain pen to write in without bleeding through. I swear I'm not getting paid to write this.

I only used it sparingly, for some reason I wouldn't leave the house with it for fear that I might lose it somewhere. It was my first Moleskine. A pocket one with graph paper instead of lined. I've always liked graph. I have 3 now: this one, a red limited edition weekly planner, and the Paris City Book. Had the first one for three years or so then started carrying it around when I started using a bag (I didn't use purses that much). Got the other two here because there's so much more selection of Moleskines here. It is European after all. But now, after three years with my first Moleskine, after months of toting it around Paris, London, and Amsterdam, it's almost full. I'm thinking I'll get through Italy with it and finish it there. But who knows I could finish it here if I get some good material (quotes! film ideas! other random things!).

Some blog news: Am having loads of fun making blog banners from the photos I've taken so will probably update the blog banner every week which'll be cool, I think. Also, am looking into changing up the colors for spring. Maybe a change around the equinox? Blogs are so much fun!! Here are two lists. Haven't done lists in a long time.

Currently:
1. Reading: Anne Frank Diary of a Young Girl, various homework papers.
2. Studying: French revolution, negation expletif, sujonctif.
3. Writing: wedding film for Kuya.
4. Watching: Saw Run Fatboy Run. I LOVE Simon Pegg. Hilarious actor. He's not too shabby in the more dramatic scenes either (ie on the balcony with Thandie Newton). Also second season Psych because the writing is too much some times. I wish I could write that funny.

Never leave home without:
1. Moleskine!: either my city book or my regular book. When I travel, it's always my planner and the regular book that comes with me.
2. Wallet: Durh. Navigo in the pocket with my cards so I never lose it.
3. Lip balm: I'm a lip balm fiend.
4. Lamy fountain pen
5. Bottle of water: Lesson learned.
6. Kleenex
7. Camera: Depends on where I'm going.
8. Umbrella: If it looks like it's going to rain.
9. Hair ties
10. Cell phone

catsup

So, been blogging about my journeys like I promised. Since being home, just trying to take it easy and get over this cold and catching up in my classes. Bought the plane tickets for Italy already and booked hostels in Florence and Venice--yay! I can't believe it's only in 5 weeks or so. Very excited. It just seems like a dream, don't think it'll hit me until we board that plane. Will also travel by train from Rome to Florence and Florence to Venice. That'll be cool.

I'm no doctor or anything, but I figured I got the sickness from all the running around tourist-style with Catherine which I'm not used to. And from being totally dehydrated all week. We'd get espressos at cafes or to go when we were out. I only had maybe 3 cups of tea that whole week when I usually have at least 4 cups of tea a day (2 in morning, 2 in afternoon). Coffee is dehydrating anyway. I had no idea that I was not drinking enough water so I think that's what helped get me sick. So drink water, kids!!! I think I'll bring loads of tea bags to Italy so I can have tea whenever.

Also, this is stupid, but my favorite pair of jeans that I've had for 4 years is getting a hole in the..erm...upper thigh section. NNNOOO!!! I knew this was going to happen, but didn't think it'd come so soon! I thought we'd at least reach the summer together, in one piece. They're a pair of Gap "pencil cut" jeans which Gap doesn't even do anymore. Le sigh. And all the jeans here are weird and are cut for tall, insect women, not stumpy Hobbit-like folk. Blurg.

Planning to see The Darjeeling Limited at my favorite cinema in Paris, you know the place. I can't believe they're playing it here! It's like the Grand Action people read my MySpace or Facebook and my blogs and know what I like. Wes Anderson is the reason I'm a film major. It's funny that this movie is coming into my life at a time where I'm really been into travel by train and the idea of spiritual journeys and so forth. Most of the movie takes place on a real train and is about three brothers on a journey in India. Also read an interview that Wes Anderson and Jason Schwartzman--co-writers of the film--we're writing it while in Paris! They'd sit in cafes at night and write together. Jason Schwartzman even said that Wes Anderson lives in Paris!! It's just so weird and cool, all these connections. How cool would it be if I was in some cafe, and Wes Anderson just sat down next to me. I'd be giddy as a schoolgirl. Also, am developing a bit of a crush on Jason Schwartzman after watching all the interviews. He seems like a normal, humble guy.

Dinner last night at Kathy's was amazing. She made this salad dressing that was to die for. She gave me and Lucia the recipe. I'm going to try it out tonight. Kathy's staying longer in Europe and plans to backpack after school. Lucky girl. It would be nice to come back here in 5 years or so and do the backpack thing. It feels like, as far as seeing the world goes, it feels like people do Europe in their teens and early twenties, South America in their late twenties, then after that Asia around 30s, 40s, and 50s. It's just a thought I had. All I know is that I want India to be the last new place I visit. Sounds weird, but it's this sort of spiritual journey thing I'd like to do someday.

west end girls: london day 3.

Sunday

Maek let me check my mail on his laptoppy, and Mom sent me an email saying how proud she was to see my essay on Why We Write. She printed it out for Dad and Grandma to read too. That made me happy. Sometimes I can get embarrassed about writing real personal stuff, even on this blog, but it ended up being a good thing. Mom also said that she bought my ticket for home. I officially go home July 3rd on a flight and airline different from my parents. I'm glad they got me a ticket different from theirs, and a ticket home in general. There will be a lot to think about on the flight back to the states.Went to the Columbia Road Flower market, which Maek and Loz suggested for a Sunday morning. It's always nice to do local things and really mingle with citizens of this amazing city. We basically followed people who where coming towards us with flowers. Maek and Loz also told us about this photographer, Seamus Ryan, who does these free themed photo sessions. They went with Jaiya and got the cutest photos. He posts them up on his website, and if you like them you can order them.

But first we went down the road walking through flower stall after stall and hearing the lovely Brits yelling, "Two for a tenner! Come spend your pocket money!" We ducked into little tiny shops that sold cute things. Both Lucia and I got these amazing Scottish scarves made by a company called Johnstons that's been making scarves since 1797. I have this thing for getting special things that have history, like my Frye boots and a story to it ("I got this Scottish scarf at a flower market in London!"). Plus, I just really liked the scarf a lot. It has a unique pattern.

After much wandering around, we found the studio. Today's theme was "The Signing". Seamus took photos of people walking to a white board, signing their name, posing in front of the board, and then walking off camera. He's going to make it into a film too. Lucia and I were really excited. Firstly--it's free. Secondly, how cool is this?!

I went first, then Lucia went, and I took pics of her going. Lucia signed her name "L. Angel"--with her last name, and Seamus said, "Is your name Angus?" Everyone in the room laughed, but not at Lucia, just regular laughing at the moment. Lucia laughed too, which I think helped her photo because she has this smile that remains after you laugh a bit. Very cute. You can see me and Lucia's photo on Seamus Ryan's site.After, Lucia and I took photos in their Photobooth that prints out amazing pictures. It also has a wind machine inside. That was fun.After the flower market, it started to rain a bit, so we decided to do something indoors. I suggested Harrods since Lucia mentioned wanting to buy an English umbrella, something well made to withstand harsh weather. I ended up getting a quintessential Harrods bag, something I always get on each trip to London. They're so cute, and durable since they're made with PVC and laminated. The umbrellas were pretty expensive so we walked down the street a bit and hopped into a luggage store where Lucia found the perfect umbrella: it's black and long with a wooden handle. Lucia also was looking at some luggage since the one she brought here was in bad shape. I too was looking at the carry-on bags that were on sale. Lucia got a duffel with wheels and a Samsonite carry-on in khaki. I got the same carry-on weekend bag in purple.

We figured, what the hell, why not? It was something that would last a long time, we could use it for Italy, and I definitely needed mine since I'm coming home with more than I brought. The luggage guy was super nice and took 20 pounds off the sale price. Nice!Then I did something really stupid that I'm just too embarrassed to even write about it: I left my wallet at the store.

I had no idea. We left the store and were walking towards the metro station, about a block away. The luggage guy comes running up behind us, holding my wallet. I was stunned. I never do this crap. He had this sort of mad face, kind of like the face your Dad makes when you do something really stupid and careless. I was so embarrassed. Lesson learned. I was just so stupidly excited about my new purchase that I didn't even think about the other stuff going on around me. Felt like an idiot for a couple hours afterward and rightly so.

Went home to drop off our purchases. We couldn't think of anything else to do, and I think Lucia was kind of getting tired of "touristy" things. You can only have so much of museums, Maek had said. So we decided to see a movie! I mentioned that Covent Garden as a lot of great cinemas, so I chose the Odeon at Covent Garden to see There Will Be Blood, which I wanted to see for a while.

It wasn't a full house or anything for There Will Be Blood, just a lot of kids our age, which is nice. Before the title credit showed up on the screen some guy said, "Gonorrhea!" which was pretty funny and stupid at the same time. The film itself was pretty good, and everyone laughed at all the right parts ("I drink your milkshake!"). It was a good time. Headed home around midnight pretty beat.

surprise!

So here's the surprise I was talking about...

When I was down, I used to go onto the Why We Write blog to get inspired by all these film and tv writers who wrote essays on why they wrote. Then they said that you can send in your own essay on why you write. So, at 1 in the morning I was typing furiously on why I wrote in the context of being abroad. I've always had many reasons to write, but after being in France, more reasons seem to have cropped up. I sent in my essay, not thinking it would be featured, just wanting to have it written out.

It was great news when Charlie of the site wanted to feature mine! I nearly died of heart attack. Check it!

I want to thank Charlie Craig and Thania St. John for creating this website in the midst of the strikes in LA. And to all the writers who shared their writing experience. It was uplifting and inspirational. I love reading about other writers. Special thanks to Charlie who picked mine.

welcome to the world

This past weekend, my friends in SF brought a lovely baby girl named Vivian into the world. I just read their blog. Congrats Rhean and Vilaska!

What a week. A baby born; and a family member laid to rest. I live across the street from a church. I can always tell when there's a funeral going on without having to look outside the window because the bells toll this really somber song, just one random note right after the other. I still look to confirm, and the men come out bearing the casket on their shoulders, and the women follow in black.

I am reminded of my own mortality. That I could be gone any day, that being "young" doesn't mean shit. Everything sort of drops when those bells sound, everything that's of little importance. And I hate being reminded that Death can come for me whenever. Who wants to live with that all the time? I mean, how can we? It's better in alarm form, preferably a loud, clanging bell, one note right after the other. Once a week is good, but it's been happening a lot lately.

Kuya sent me links to his engagement photos that he and Kat took in SF. They're so SF and cinematic. And they look so freaking happy with each other. There's a pic of my brother making this funny face, and it so looks like a face my brother would make. Kathy's holding a flower to his nose, and he makes a face like it smell disgusting. Just the fact that the photographer decided to capture it on film makes me smile. I hope I find someone that could make me as happy as they are. Or not, it really doesn't matter 'cuz I like being alone too. Will post one photo when they make them public.

Got to reading Kat's blog--I can't believe I'm going to have a sis!--and she said she went to WonderCon in SF and got to meet James McAvoy! Jealous, I wrote to her on Facebook: "You met James McAvoy in SF, and I live in Europe and can't meet ONE hot British man!" Haha, lucky girl. There's still time. I am going to London next week...

Lastly, I know this is kind of late, but I want to thank YOU for visiting my blog. We're past the halfway point now, and I'm arriving in LA July 4 or so I think which is kind of nice, so "AMERICA!" if you will. It's really nice to see the counter going up, and to see people visiting from all over the world from America to Norway and New Zealand to England.

Writing here has been a really therapeutic way to deal with being abroad and allows me to keep in touch with family and friends and be a little creative. It's never felt like a chore or a job, and that's what I love about it. So thanks for visiting and being a part of this, for commenting or just making the counter go up. I hope you guys have time to visit my friends' blogs on the left there because, although they're not as crazy as I am writing in my blog every day, they still have something to say, and they're all worthwhile reading. Bisous.

flipside

Went to church at St. Joe's near L'Arc de Triomphe. Most of the churchgoers are Filipino, maybe 70%. Lots of rich Filipinos driving up in Mercedes. Probably diplomats. At any rate it's nice to hear Tagalog once in a while. The wife and husband in front of me were talking Tagalog to each other, and the wife's mother was speaking French to her grandson who'd reply in French. It was flipping weird.

Got home around 2, and realized, man, I could really massacre a plate of lumpia. I could kill for a big plate of Dad's adobo, Mom's pansit, and white rice. That would really hit the spot. I salivate as I write this. Made pasta instead. I guess I could go get the ingredients, find recipes online, and cook it myself, but that would be expensive. And I'm lazy.

The Oscars are tonight, and even though I call myself a film major, I really do not like the Oscars. Asking me to watch the Oscars is like asking me to play Scene It. It's like prom for movies, and I didn't really care for prom. All that, "Who are you wearing?" crap although that didn't really happen at prom. Wait, it kind of did, people did ask me where I got my dress. And now Diablo Cody is wearing million dollar shoes or some crap for the red carpet. What made me especially angry is seeing Juno among No Country For Old Men and There Will Be Blood (which I haven't seen, but come on, it's Daniel Day Lewis). It was an okay film, it just felt like a lot of it was forced and tried too hard to be cool (film and music references, stupid burger phone that is probably available at Hot Topic).

Three women (Nancy Oliver for Lars and the Real Girl and Tamara Jenkins for The Savages--girl power!) are up for Best Original Screenplay, just please, dear God, any of these women except Diablo Cody. Who says, "Honest to blog" or "This is one etch a sketch that can't be un-did" blah blah? I guess I just like things that are a little closer to reality. I am, odd enough, excited for her future and to see what other screenplays she'll be pumping out.

Paris.

Went to my French cinema class on Friday. It's part 2 of the class I took last semester. So nothing really new, the prof is just pretty good. Went down to the Cinema board after class to check if there are any classes that I can maybe take just in case the grammar class doesn't work out. Found a class on Wednesday afternoons that sounds interesting: The Devil in Theater and Cinema. Sounds pretty cool. If the grammar class does work out then maybe I'll drop the French cinema class on Fridays (which I'm taking for a Cinema credit, not French) and replace it with the Devil class which means...4 day weekend.

Lovely. But we'll see. I still have to crash the Cinema Devil class.

Went to Ikea for 1 euro breakfast by myself and also got a cheap frame for my Van Gogh print "Skull smoking a cigarette". It's funny to tell someone this, and what you get back is, "By yourself?" Got an idea for a short movie that'll take place in Paris. Started the script halfway during breakfast. It was actually an idea I had for my production class, but after consulting my TA he advised I shoot another story because he didn't want to read subtitles. Had 2 cups of coffee, and I was on a roll. A man tried to go outside on Ikea's terrace to smoke, and he opened an emergency door, and the Ikea lady berated him. Will start shooting in April after my friends leave.

Went to Pigalle to meet up with Susie. Walked to Parc Monceau, it was my first time there. Did one lap, and then met up with Sarah and we did another lap. Walked towards L'Arc de Triomphe then down the Champs. Got tickets for the film Paris at Odeon and then food, and then sat by the Seine since our film didn't start for another hour. 2 boats passed by with their lights on, blinding us, and we waved to tourists. Then a couple, most likely tourists, took photos of us sitting on the side of the Seine, us facing Pont Neuf all lit-up, our backs to them. I hope the photo came out just like they wanted. Met up with Melissa, waited in a horrible line for a while, and we watched the film.

It just seems perfect that a film titled Paris is out now, right in the middle of our study abroad. It just seems so right. The film was decent. The coolest things were seeing the monuments, recognizing places where they filmed. Because it was ours, you know? We've been there, we saw it, we took the mental picture. From now on, whenever I see Paris on film, it's going to mean something really special because I lived here.

They showed 5 seconds of a metro line, and I knew just from those 5 seconds that it was line 6. I was so sure, because it was above ground, you could see the Tour Eiffel from that line, and I knew, I knew because I've seen it just like that. I am content. And then it's all downhill from there because they're speaking so fast, I can't get it all, and the audience is laughing at a joke that I missed. But it doesn't really matter. Not to me. That was line 6.

tea over boys?

God, I'm weird.

Was outside the Mayflower with Morgan, Nayo, and Kathy when this hottie from Australia overheard us talking English and said hello. We were chatting (mostly them, I'm just listening really) with this really hot Australian, and all I could think about was some tea. A nice hot cup of tea. Like, how good would some chamomile tea be right now? Really good. Like, better than talking to a hot Australian guy with his lovely accent.

So I left and went home. And I'm typing with some chamomile at my right.

How am I ever going to meet boys when I'd rather be drinking tea? It's so crazy, right? And this guy is really nice, not boring, and very patient with my friends since two out of four of us are roaring drunk. He'd answer their questions very nicely and all that and wouldn't even flinch at their cursing. I'm not drunk at all. I'm coherent and shy, and it's hard to get in a word when all your friends are just dominating this dude. They've done this before. They have guy experience. I don't know, I'm just not the type that's forward and all that. The guy, David, is on this world tour right now, just left London and talking about all the places he's been. Very interesting and cool guy, the kind of guy I'd be into since he's into traveling, and yet I'm sitting at home drinking my tea.

It's amusing to me what my priorities are.

Conversations are interesting. Just how they lead from topic to topic. Today, everyone asked me how London was and I was telling them what I did, and someone interjects with something, and then another one interjects with something, and then I can never go back to talking about London. It's just gone so far off course that I can't go back to it. That happened today, and it happens a lot to me. And I don't want to be the person that's all, "Anyway, as I was saying..." I don't know. It just sucks when that happens. And I'm not a very talkative person, but when I want to talk and I can't, it sucks.

That's why I write so much. That's why I blog. I'm not very conversationally dominant and when I want to talk, people don't want to listen they just want to talk too, and I'm thrown off track. Sometimes people...they don't even wait until you put the period on your sentence. They just go right on in, like pressing "Play" right after "Pause". You're not even done with your sentence, and they start a new paragraph or a new page. Sometimes you know that even while you're talking, they're just waiting for they're turn to speak.

Blurg. I can always count on blog to listen.

4 months is not enough, stationery, and undercover habits

Went to Mayflower last night for a framboise which I have not drunk in ages so yay for me and limiting my alcohol intake. David was there and looked kind of busy and annoyed. They can do that here. I mean, waiters don't have to be nice to you because they don't work for tips. Customer and worker are on the same level. So if you have a condescending douchebag that won't get you water because his girl just broke up with him, that's just too bad. Then when it wasn't so busy, David came by and asked how we were and if we were doing okay. So that was cool. Nayo and I discussed the new Micefa kids who just arrived here for the semester and those who just left.

I think it's absolutely ludicrous to stay here for one semester. There's no way you can pick up anything really substantial in that amount of time. Nayo said that by the time you leave, things are finally starting to progress. It's so true. If anyone reading this is planning to study abroad, make sure it's for the whole year. Trust us. It's worth it, and you won't regret it.

Was online last night searching for places in the US to buy the type of stationery and paper they sell here because I am in LOVE with Clairfontaine paper. Mostly their notebooks. I love French ruled paper too because it looks like graph paper but busier. Don't get me wrong, I still love my Moleskines, but when it comes to paper for school and notebooks--Clairefontaine. It's smooth, thick enough to use fountain pens that bleed a little, and eco-friendly. And no paper cuts! Rhodia notepads are cool too. I heard Francis Ford Coppola uses them.

I've started to develop these undercover spy-ish habits. I blame the movies and my own paranoia. For example, when I'm supposed to meet someone at the fountain at St. Michel, featured at the right, I never go and wait there. No, I wait at the bookstore across the street and watch until my friend arrives, and then I go there. Haha. Also looking for the nearest exit, the nearest object I can grab to cause bodily harm in case of attack, memorizing the best exits for the major metros that I frequent. Yeah!

free time

I now have 2 free days during the week. My oral conversation class just ended. YAY! Prof was cool and brought a tasty treat for us to enjoy: galette des rois. Or Three Kings Cake. It's made with almond paste, and there's a figurine of a king inside the cake and whoever gets it is the King and gets to choose the Queen. It's for the kids!

My classmate asked me what I was going to do with all my free time. That's a very interesting question with a lot of interesting prospects...

1. I gots my mocumentary to write up. The basic layout for the film has already been established. I just have to figure what my B-roll is going to be based on the answers from the people I'm going to interview.
2. 2 other writing projects. That's right! One of them is an idea I got here and another is an idea that I've been working on for the past year. I'm really excited for both even though one of them is not really do-able with my means since it's meant to be sort of a tv series.
3. Read. Yeah! French and English stuffs.
4. Expositions. There's a bunch of expositions I've been wanting to see including one on 1920s clothing. Come on! That's amazing. I love the 20s.

So that's the plan for the next couple of weeks when my days are free. Usually I can't write for more than 2 hours at a time so I can probably go to an expo and then go home and write, then go to the park to read, then come back home to write. God, that sounds amazing! This is like my dream job. I'm living my dream job right now while going to school. I better make the most of it. Like come home with 2 scripts and be ready to shoot the mockdoc.

Ate a lovely little snack grab thingy of Cheetos that Romina gave me on Monday, and it was delicious and brought me back to the good old days of grade school. Thanks Romina!

a sore throat calls for tea and TV. and crazy.

I'm rediscovering how amazing "LOST" is. Just watched an episode. The characters are complex, as is the storyline which is suspenseful and interesting than most of the drivel on the tube. And I love the dialogue. If one day I can write dialogue as simple and cryptic as theirs...I will die a happy girl. Why, you're probably wondering, am I watching American TV inside when I can be outside on this cold Parisien day waiting in line for a museum that's free because it's the first sunday of the month?

My throat feels like someone took a cheese grater to it.

I'm sick. Must have caught it days ago and gallivanting in last night's drizzle did not help. Bugger.

It's funny how I've been spending my year here appreciating all things connected with the English language. Don't get me wrong, I love being here and learning French, but these have been the worst absolute conditions to learn French in (strikes, unmotivated teachers, me being in my own little English-speaking world once class starts, etc.). If God asked me, when I died, what was the meaning of this year in Paris, if it wasn't to learn French, I'd probably go off on an angry tirade because He'd know exactly what the meaning of this year was...

To learn to be truly alone, to feel depression and to rise above it, to ask questions of myself that would have never occurred if I was in SF, to appreciate more my love of English, to make me realize what I want of this world, to give me ideas on the next big project, to give me ideas on what I want to do with my life, to clear my head, to make friends who aren't film majors, to be lost, to be found...

And then He'd stop me and say, "Alright, alright! Jeez! I just wanted to hear it from you. I'm glad you learned something...By the way, I can't believe Diablo Cody won that Oscar, it clearly should have gone to you." And then Buster Keaton would ask me to tea with Jesus, Shakespeare, and Joan of Arc, and then we'd go play croquet or something. My heaven sounds awesome.

Anyway, what am I getting at? I swear, being sick makes me write crazy things, you should have seen the other posts before this that got thrown out. This is actually a less crazy post compared to the other ones. Okay, so I want to end this with this: American tv is pretty good, but only a handful of shows; God and me are pretty cool, we settled it all last night around 2am ('cuz I've been debating religion the past couple of months); and also I HATE my toaster because, although being shiny and beautiful, the thing is a beast and it's loud when the toast pops, and the toast is small, and it's scary when I have to stick my fingers and get it. That is all.

tummy ache

Woke up and worked out for what seems like the first time ever. What followed was the most horrible tummy ache that I have ever had. Blurg. Had two cups of tea to make it go away, but it only made it worse. Felt like going back to the good old days, so I started watching episodes of "Batman: The Animated Series". So good and cinematic. I'm starting to get into Batman, after watching The Dark Knight trailer. Been going on Wikipedia and reading about all the characters and story arcs.

Didn't feel like eating lunch (only more tea) but forced myself, and it only made it go away slightly. Went out to buy more tea and also stopped by the kind grocers to stock up on veggies and fruits. This time, carrots, zucchinis, clementines, and bananas. Almost 7 euros. I like the carrots here. They're sort of sweeter than the ones in the States. One more cup of tea and clementine later, I felt better. Maybe my body is taking revenge on this new fangled diet and exercise thing.

Was up late last night reading Why We Write, a blog started by writers in TV and film. Each essay is written by a writer on why he/she writes. It's pretty cool. They were accepting submissions, so I wrote my own. It felt good to write it, I don't even care if they publish it or not. But it would be cool.

Going out tonight for Kristin's birthday. She'll be 21. Turning 21 feels uneventful here since you can pretty much drink as long as you look 16. But I have a feeling her birthday will be pretty eventful.

my first nightmare

Had my first nightmare since being in Paris. At least, one that I oddly remember so well. I'm with some friends who are film majors also, and we're talking to these industry people to help me get my film made. The industry people wanted my film to get made, but, they said, the only way I was going to get this film made was if I film some scenes and pretty much put on this whole show for the "corporate people", and that's totally not my style. I said that either they like it or not, they give me the money or not. I'm not going do some stupid dance for them so that they can give me the money to make my film. It would cease to be my film when all those corporate people have all the money and can tease me with it and just as easily make it their film. The setting ceased to be room where I was pitching my script, but this gaudy, monstrosity of a set that I did not envision for my film. It was a wedding scene, and we were in the middle of this church that was all decorated in flowers and white everywhere. There was this band to one side, the corporate people on the other, the industry people in the middle of the aisles, and my friends giving out direction for me because I was too numb to do anything.

And it was getting out of hand, it was not what I wanted.

And nobody wanted to do it my way, and nobody was listening except for my friend's brother Dan (fake name), also in film and in real life a bit older and wiser about working in film, who I've only met twice and very briefly. At first, he was gun-ho, thought it was a good idea, but when it was getting out of hand, he started to see. Of all my friends and the industry people, my friend's brother who I've only said 3 words to in our time together in real life, he was the one who understood. And in the middle of this circus-like fiasco, in this elaborate show to impress these stupid suits, he came to me at the altar and without saying anything, he hugged me. It was comforting at that moment, but it wasn't enough. That's when I woke up. I'm not even out of film school yet, and I'm having this nightmare. Can you imagine what terrors await me when I'm finished with school?

Other than that, a cool day. Hung out in front of Shakespeare and Co. while Nayo and Sarah were inside. I was sitting right on this bench writing some ideas down in my Moleskine:When this European guy trying out his French comes up to me with a book and asks if I'm the one selling the books. I smiled and told him, in French, that he can go inside and pay, and I point to the store. That was like the best thing that happened to me today. Being mistaken for a bookstore owner. Sarah said, "How does writing in a Moleskine warrant you as a bookstore owner?" I said I didn't know but I joked, "I should have taken his money...But what if I didn't have any change to give him?" And then this line of people behind him would form as I played the bookstore owner. The Shakespeare people are really trusting to leave all those books outside their store.

Met up also with Susie and her bf Andy, and we tried to figure out dinner. Andy suggested calling for take-out since Susie didn't have any cash, and Andy had a credit card. Susie was all, "But I'm scared!" It's funny how something so simple like ordering take-out on the phone can feel so daunting in a foreign country. I'd be scared too. They ended up getting pizza.