vendredi 18 janvier 2008

plans

I just found out that class is canceled next Friday. That means I could have left for London on Friday instead of Saturday giving me one more day to have fun. Oh well. Maek, my cousin who I'm staying with, sent me a text message to see if we could communicate. I've heard others having problems using their phones in other countries. We'll see what happens. I just can't imagine not having a cell phone anymore. He's meeting me at the train station with the wifey so that'll be cool. And I'll get to meet their baby Jaiya! Jaiya Papaya, they call her.

I got an email today from one of my former teachers, Prof. Karen Holmes. Her and my old TA Jason (who is an amazing teacher as well and hilarious) offered me a TA (teacher's assistant) position for a 310 class this spring. I literally wanted to cry. You have no idea how much this meant to me.

I would have taken it in a heartbeat. I loved 310 class. That's film production class. I worked my butt off in that class because I loved it so much. I'd stay in the computer labs till they closed to edit my work. I worked hard because I wanted to be memorable. I wanted my name to conjure good memories and thoughts for them, and it worked. Hard work doing something you love brings results. The fact that a professor and graduate student that I respect considered me to work with them just amazes me.

It feels sort of depressing that this is the only bright, shining thing that has brought me happiness today. It wasn't French class, and it wasn't doing my French homework. It was this email about a film class back in SF. I read that email, and I imagined myself teaching those bright eyed kids how to load the Bolex camera, I saw myself reading over their film treatments, I saw me and Prof. Holmes and Jason walking to class together. And then, and then this is so pathetic that I'm revealing this to you, but I started to cry because I knew that it wasn't going to happen. This was the first time I ever really wanted to go home.

I have to remind myself that everything happens for a reason. I have to stay hopeful. This is just that post-Christmas slump that they all talked about, warned us about. I'm a good kid, and I'll get another opportunity like this.