being a better student

There's got a be a better way to do this. I just crammed 2 hours of studying today before class. And it hurt, dear God, did it hurt. There's no way I can study like this. I have to be a better etudiante.

I'm thinking of 1 to 1.5 blocks of studying twice a day, with breaks in between. So, that would mean that I'd get at least 3 hours of studying done everyday. That's normal--getting 3 hours of studying total each day. That's what every student, at base, should accomplish. I read somewhere that for each hour of class, that's an hour of studying outside of class. Bah.

Reading texts, excerpts, advertisements, news, everything in French; being constantly surrounded by a foreign language, by the unknown, by the slightly understood...I appreciate more than ever, what is available to me in my own language. I would love, more than anything right now, to read one of my cinema textbooks that I left back home. To go to Borders and get something good. To read the LA Times. No joke! I miss English so badly.

I know, I know, that's something you don't want to hear, but this language, although beautiful, it's frustrating, headache inducing, and just...too much. I don't want to give up, I hate knowing I've given up, but I don't know. I really want to understand why I'm feeling this way. I told you I was going to be having good and bad days, up and downs. This is normal, I think. (Sigh...) I just want to go more than week without feeling like crap, feeling like this degree was a mistake, wanting to stick to my English.