jeudi 24 janvier 2008

untimely deaths

It's always sad to hear about untimely deaths, especially the deaths of young people who you knew would make it really far in this world, who had something good to contribute to this world. Fortunately I'm not talking about anyone I know, I'm just still hung up on the death of Heath Ledger.

I have had my share of moments when I'm reminded of my own mortality. I guess his death was one of those moments. 9/11 was one of those moments too. And I'll never forget what I was doing, where I was, who I was with when these moments happened. This time, I was online at my studio alone. Kathleen (a friend from high school) had written on her Facebook status update that she was sad about Heath Ledger. I thought, "Oh no, he must've got hurt on the set of some film."

His death is just the reminder of my own mortality, of all our mortalities. Life is fragile, beautiful, a gift, not to be wasted. He was 28, only seven years older than me. My brother's age.

If I had 6 more months to live, if the end of living in Paris meant the end of me, what would I do?

1. Finally get museum cards at the Louvre and D'Orsay. Will do today and spend the day at D'Orsay probably.
2. Walk the length of the Seine.
3. Visit all the places I longed to visit while staying here, even if it's for just a two days.: Amsterdam. Prague. Rome.
4. Buy the red Converses. I've always wanted a pair. They're just so bold and colorful, but I never went for it. I guess 'cuz they weren't "safe". These have some sort of sentimental value to me too as there was this boy I really liked but only told a few people about who wore Red converses. He was a freshman like me in college. Have you seen Citizen Kane? Bernstein says to one of the news reporters,

A fellow will remember a lot of things you wouldn't think he'd remember. You take me. One day, back in 1896, I was crossing over to Jersey on the ferry, and as we pulled out, there was another ferry pulling in, and on it there was a girl waiting to get off. A white dress she had on. She was carrying a white parasol. I only saw her for one second. She didn't see me at all, but I'll bet a month hasn't gone by since that I haven't thought of that girl.

That's who the boy with red cons to me. I never talked to him. I never saw him after freshmen year. Probably transferred. Not a month goes by when I don't think of him.

Okay. Enough. Get busy livin' or get busy dyin'.