goodbye san fran week: day 1

I arrived yesterday in the Bay area. I'm back for a week or so before I bring everything down to So Cal for good. It's so weird being here for such a short time and saying goodbye.

I was driving across the Bay Bridge into the city and listening to Elliott Smith's "Bottle Up and Explode!" (XO album) which is perfect for driving across the Bay Bridge because it starts sort of slow and times perfectly with the ascent and then when you finally hit the middle, the song's fast and it's nice with all the orange street lights and everyone speeding to the city. You can almost believe that everyone's listening to the same song, and it makes you happy because maybe they're going somewhere nice, like a party or dinner or a club or even home, and all I could think about was my home for the past school year.

I was sad, at first. But it seems like it's time for a different scenery and a change. I've become comfortable. The same bike route to school. The visit to Trader's Joes every other week for soy milk. I need change; I fear ruts. I need to grow. San Francisco has been good to me these past three years. I'm too soft. And now Paris...Paris is going to be mean and rude to me, I can feel it. But I need to experience it. I need to know.

I planned a picnic/barbeque with friends this Saturday. I'm also hanging out with people althroughout the week to say goodbye. I've already said goodbye to my friend Emilyn who's leaving for the Phillippines. She's my first goodbye here, I'm pretty sure. It hit me that I won't see her for a year. It felt so terrible, and then it went away. We both accepted it. The year will go by fast. We'll see each other next summer.

Tomorrow, day 2 of goodbye, includes dinner with a friend, and I'm going to go find a new backpack.