Mon amie a Paris!

Hello again friends!

I've been getting emails from lovely people asking me questions about my year in Paris and seeking advice. It's really nice.

I know I'm not in Paris, but Fanyi is and you can check out her blog here at :Reflections Aboard Paris Express.

Some updates: I'm finishing my last semester at school, and I'm awaiting to hear back on an internship in southern California. Wish me luck!

Salut!

Hey all, it's been a while.

I went private for a while--if you've been trying to visit and found that you couldn't view the site--but I'm back to being public for the sake of posterity. I want people who are interested in my study abroad experience to be able to read my ups and downs on my year in Paris.

As for an update, I am on my way towards a film degree. French is on the back burner since my school has been facing some budget cuts, and I won't be able to complete both degrees at the same time. I've decided to go with film since it is more of my passion than French is. It was not an easy decision to make, but I think it's for the best.

Thanks again to all those who've supported me and my blog in the past. See you in another life.

Love,
Elaine

update!

Bonjour tout le monde!

Everything is going swell these days. I'm adjusting to life back in SF which is quite peachy. Kuya's wedding went really well and was a lot of fun. Have been running into Paris people or just finding out through the grapevine that a lot of my classmates from Paris have French boyfriends. It made me really happy to hear that.

If you're trying to read "this cozy skull", sorry, but that blog is now private and all readers must be approved by me.

a year ago

Yesterday, while on the way to Ikea with Lucia, I realized that a year ago we arrived in Paris.

When I look back on that girl I think, "OH YOU ARE SO NAIVE!!!" haha...But seriously, a year has changed A LOT, and I wouldn't trade my year in Paris for anything else. I am so happy that it has brought me to a place where I am now, mentally. Physically, not so much--I'm back in SF. But if I can get through a year in Paris, I can get through a year in SF. Believe me.

I don't ever want to be the girl I was back then, and moving back here feels like a step backwards, a road towards that other girl. It's not like moving back to LA, which will always be home. But SF has always felt temporary, never my home, just a vacation from family. Maybe it'll change this year, but I really wouldn't care if it did since I can't wait to go back to LA. At least, I'm making our place (Lucia is my roommate!) a real sanctuary.

prepare for re-entry

Finally, finally, finally, had my money transferred from Paris to here. Took them long enough. Already had forgotten how incredibly slow the French system can be.

SFSU is offering a re-entry workshop for all study abroad students to "prepare" us for "life after study abroad". Unfortunately, I can't make it. I think we're all dealing in our own ways to adjust to life back here. Me, I'm just so swamped with stuff to do that I forget to miss the things I'm missing. I miss my tiny studio and what little I had. Everything was so simple. I just just what I needed, and that was enough. Here I have too much, but that's because I keep everything.

As for changes, I dress better than I used to. I think I'm less afraid to be dressy. I take better care of myself too, healthwise. My childhood friend who used to live across the street is getting married. She's only a year older than me. Right now, we're the same age, but she'll be a year older in November. I used to have a crush on her older brother, who is an Air Force hottie. My cousin also has a crush on him, haha. He'll be at my brother's wedding.

rebonjour

Hello again.

I've been missing Paris of late...Not too badly, but just the little things. Like taking the metro or the 28 bus and getting off at Notre Dame. Getting a noisette at the Saint Medard and watching all the world pass me by. Or sitting with friends in the back of a bar with a demi-citron. Eating a grec or falafel standing up in a public place. Walking everywhere, being surrounded by complete strangers, lovely boys, and pretty girls.

I've been driving everywhere, spending lots of time in traffic. Having coffee in cafes. Walking in public, but commercial, places.

It's not the same.

Of course not, and it'll never be the same. But I made a vow a while back to live every year like "Year Paris". Yeah, I gave it a name, Year Paris. Something like "kilometer zero". Year Paris was the most interesting, exciting year of my life, and while I might not top Year Paris just yet, I can make a promise to live as close to it as possible.

Right now, not doing so well.

i could punch something someone right now

BLURG! Finally got a hold of my bank. I got the numbers. But ARGH! the lady was so freaking difficult. What is it with French people that they delight in making people who maybe don't speak their language so well feel like idiot children. I called and all I got was a drawn out, "oui?" and then I thought, "Oh God, here I go"...I explained everything and after each point I got another drawn out, "Oui?"

I wish there was a way to punch someone in the face over the phone.

I thought "who the f*** is this" so I asked if this was the same lady and if she remembered who I was at all, and I got another "oui". So I said, "Give me my money, pute!" No. I didn't. I wish I did though.

So she gave me the numbers and then repeated them in effing English for chrissakes. I've been saying "chrissakes" a lot after I heard Mom saying it. I'm going to fax them the order later when a faxing store is open. Blurg.

Glad that's over and done with. Damn, those frogs still can manage to piss me off thousands of miles away. I am thankful for one lovely Italian frog, Adriano, my hook-up at the bank who, after checking my mail after the call, sent me the numbers by email. So, talking to that asshole lady could have been avoided, but whatever.

new news

Had my Tommy's burger fix yesterday at the original in LA, so I'm good for like another year when it comes to burgers. Yum.

I'm starting up another blog and will begin posting there soon since my posts here are sort of starting to be less Paris themed. The most mention you get from Paris are people's reactions to my coming back and all that. Will still try to post about my Spain and south of France adventures, but stuff keeps piling up for me to do so we'll see what happens.

I'll post the link to the new blog up here once it's ready. What's exciting about this, for me at least, is that this'll be the first time that I'll be connecting two personal blogs together. What I usually do is that I start one and end it and start new again. My old readers are usually referred to the new blog, but never new readers to the old ones. So there could still be people reading this from three blogs back. I've been writing online since middle school. So this is history!

Ever since my last One to One at Apple, I've been kind of hesitant to going back there despite the cute boys. I had to cancel mine today to take Grandma to the doctor's which I'm glad for because I was so sure I'd get the same, serious guy who was interested looking at my photos on iPhoto. Creepy, right? I forgot to mention that. Luckily, I had my production photos from a film I worked on on the laptoppy, so I showed him that.

School is around the corner, so I must bring out my inner geek and go shopping. I need a new external hard drive to store all my Paris photos and such. Also need Final Draft for the laptoppy which I will now refer to as the Big Mac unless I find a cooler name. Hopefully someone at school can beer me a copy along with Final Cut--I'm horrible I know, but I'm a poor film student. My film TAs even support the sharing of expensive softwares. I will pay for software once I get a steady job, I promise.

People have been buggin' me (most notably old classmates who know I'm majoring in film) about The Dark Knight which I will see but I wanted it to be in a setting where I won't be bothered. So will see it Imax-style this week hopefully.

You might have noticed in my Dopplr that I'm planning a trip to Las Vegas in a few weeks. Will try my hand at the slots again to see if I'm still lucky. And maybe some outlet shopping for school clothes, yay! I also love love love people watching in Vegas. It's probably one of my more favorite places to people watch.

memory lane

Last night was a really fun night. This guy David I grew up and went to school with from kindergarten to 8th grade graduated from UCSD with a chemical engineering degree. His grad party/birthday party was last night. I went along with Cher.

It was really cool to catch up with him especially since we haven't seen each other in a long time. We talked about our old classmates and reminisced over funny school stories. His parents are the sweetest people in the world and his Dad kept telling David's friends really embarrassing stuff about me which was not cool, but hilarious still. Everyone kept asking me about Paris which is natural, but I find it so hard to talk about or to sum up so I just say, "I had a good time. I learned a lot." which seems so broad to me and does no justice to what actually happened.

Learned that David was hoping to work in alternative fuels and just got turned down from a job about creating a universal blood. It made me so happy that David wanted and was actively pursuing careers that would hopefully make the world a better place. Universal blood. Alternative fuels. I joked, "You're a superhero, David. You're going to save us." "Not yet," he answered.

There were questions of my future, but broad ones that didn't pain me to answer with a hint of uncertainty. Just what was in store for me for the next year. No one questioned what would happen after graduation, and I was glad for it. All I got was suggestions that I "should come home".

I thought long and hard, after the party, about how I wanted to do something noble with my degree like David set out with his. I wanted to be a hero too and save the world even if it only meant abstractly and in minuscule maybe innumerable figures.

I thought a long time, while brushing my teeth, changing into my pjs, and in the dark and found it hard to fall asleep.

more nights on bikes

It's almost 3 am. Just got back from night biking in PJs with the Midnight Ridazz of West Hollywood (or Weho) and then tacos at King Taco on Olympic and Downey. Fun then yum.

I'm sore and my knees are shredded from running red lights, constant braking from near misses, and, oh yeah, biking for 10+ miles. Yet I feel awesome. There were dozens of us taking the lanes, yelling and ringing our bells for passersby, drivers, and clubbers. We owned the road. People would yell at us, "What's going on?!" or "Yeah! Bike for a cause!" or, my personal favorite from a homeless man hanging with a Jack Sparrow impersonator near Hollywood and Vine: "BIKER GANG! BIKER GANG!"

I wore my PJs. Lots of cute boys wore their boxer shorts or even briefs. How daring. One cute boy lost a nut in his brake when we stopped to see if he was okay, and he asked me for one. Lovely. Unfortunately, I had no nuts.

An awesome group of people, I would do this again. I am tired though, must sleeps now.

mo' money, mo' problems

I feel like I've used this post title before, but I don't care.

Finally tried to call my bank in Paris to finalize this money bullcrap, but no dice. Phone card wouldn't work. Didn't want to talk to the lady who was such a b-word to me. Kuya came in after playing pool, and I asked him to call for me and he exclaimed, "I don't speak French!" Fine, fine.

Tomorrow might go biking at night in Hollywood with this group that does themed biking. Tomorrow's theme is "Pajamas" I think. I might do a whole Darjeeling thing and wear my Brooks Brothers pajama pants and a gray tank top or the top and shorts. I also have those sleeping masks that I'll wear around my hair like a hairband. Beige loafers will complete the ensemble. My blue Schwinn named Blue is ready to go. Kuya joked that maybe the Erics from Apple will be there. I nicknamed them Eric Oneapple and Eric Twoapple, Eric Twoapple being my favorite.

Pre-production is underway for the wedding film. This is probably my favorite part. All the planning and scheduling. I hope that I can get a hold of Final Cut Pro from someone at school so that I can skip the whole iMovie thing. Don't get me wrong, I love the simpliciy of iMovie, but why use that when I know and need to learn more about Final Cut. We'll see.

Thinking about the future again. Blurg. More and more people are telling me to cherish school and all that. Kuya offered to let me stay at his awesome condo in Northridge, close to all those movie studios after I graduate. He will rent me the master bedroom in the 4 bedroom mini-house for $800. That house is beautiful and a dream. There's a pool down the street, it's a bike ride away from the stores, and great surround sound system. Everything is contingent on me finding a job though in LA.

I kind of want to sell a lot of my stuff or just get rid of all this clutter in my room. Sometimes I see the stuff that I bought a while ago and go, "What was I thinking?" I no longer feel the need to buy, buy, buy. It all just complicates my life. I also come across stuff that I've saved and go, "Why did I keep this? Why was this important to me?" as I toss it in the trash. I think the best way to keep my memories is to just have a few of them, the few that will mean something to me later.

Wait, I kind of have an idea...

Are you interested in my memories? In my little keepsakes that I saved all throughout my year in Paris? I've gathered too much as you've noted. As a thank you for being my blog supporter throughout my year in Paris, I'd like to send you something. It might be a postcard I picked out, a museum stub, maybe a map of Paris I used to carry around. I've got brand tags from clothing I bought, metro stubs, receipts. I will mail you two or three things that I've chosen along with a written description of how I've come across them or a story about them.

If you're interested, email me your address (I will be extremely confidential, no worries) at thiscozyskull (at) gmail dot com. And if you don't like what I sent you, then at least you'd have a nice handwritten letter in fountain pen by me!

Madrid

Crossed the border into Spain, no problem. Drove by some lovely beach towns, but headed straight for Madrid. Checked into the Holiday Inn just outside the city.

The next day we drove into the city and found a parking spot, but it was far from El Prado. We took a taxi, and it wasn't that expensive. Dad was really excited to see the paintings of El Bosco. They're really dark and creepy, but very fascinating. I can probably stare at "The Garden of Earthly Delights" for hours looking at each figure. Saw some Goya too and Velázquez. I love "Las Meninas". It's just so cinematic. I kind of like breaking the third wall sometimes in films, it's so powerful.Had late lunch in Madrid's huge park, Parque del Retiro. Bocadillos with serrano ham--yum. It was really hot. There were loads of people on paddleboats out on the lake though. Looked like fun. Walked to the car, which wasn't that far and drove back to the hotel to rest.

Next stop, Toledo!

pink's and beans

Went to the bank this morning where Mom made me co-owner for her safety deposit box. It feels so cool and old-timey to have a safety deposit box. She gave me a jade bracelet from her trip to China since I accidentally dropped mine on my Parisian studio brick floor.

Hung out with more of the fam-bam. Cousin Eric and his fam came from Texas and we all went to window-shop on Melrose Ave. Traffic was hellish. Didn't find anything that cool except for some flats that were $225, handmade and awesome with a freaking quote etched into the sole of the shoe. My kind of shoe. Took down the name of the designer just in case I win the lotto or something.

Had late lunch at Pink's--yeah, I know, very touristy, but they came all the way from Texas! Why not?! I remember my film friend, Phill who works up the street at Mole-Richardson, a lighting company, and how he stood in line next to Cuba Gooding Jr. No celebs by us though. I kind of don't care for LA sometimes. Like today, there were a lot of phony people out and people that you could tell just cared about their looks and the looks of the people they were with. Just hipster phonies. But I better get used to them sooner or later.

Late dinner back at the house. Steak, green beans from the house farm (SO YUM!), rice, fruit salad. Tasty as always. Had to drive back to LA around 11pm--that's my favorite time to drive around. No traffic, usually. It was such a lovely drive. All the lights aglow in the misty haze of smog. It's times like these that I love LA, when I'm cut off behind glass staring at it all as if it was in a snow globe.

Got mixed notes from the fam and cousins. Cousin Eric said I was "bolder". I guess because when they make fun and joke at my expense, I used to take it and not say anything back, and now I do say stuff back, so now I'm "bolder". But then Dad said today that I was "too shy" and need to "show off" more. Very interesting...

apple and pizza

I am awesome. I just figured it all out. Not "all" out, but I finally figured it all while getting my schedule ready for school.

I picked up a lot of lecture classes when it comes to cinema and two screenwriting classes. I figure since I don't have the money to produce my own films for school, I figure I'll use this last year to really hone in my writing skills and work on story structure and all that. And THEN I'll work on other people's films therefore not spending my own hard cash. That way I can still get experience on set and be part of a crew, which I LOVE, and still get to write although I won't be filming anything. I just happen to find that better than trying to get money to make a film. Especially at this point I should be well into pre-production, but I have NOTHING to film.

I think it's a good plan. That way I don't overload and get a serious breakdown. I mean, I just came back from Paris I should maybe take it a little easy for the next semester.

Awesome. That was the plan from the get go anyway, and I'm glad my schedule worked out.

One to One at the Apple store today. There's still a line out there for the phone, but I got in like I was on some sort of guest list at a club. Felt pretty nice. The guy was okay. I dunno, it just didn't seem like the guy was enthused. He was kind of scary, like scary serious. Homeboy would not smile, even when I'd make a joke. Whatever. I still learned a lot from him, but it's nice to have a teacher who is easy to be with and energetic. Maybe it's just me and I have particular tastes now. Scheduled another one to one for next week. Just hope it's not with Oscar the Grouch. I did see the two cute Erics working so that made my day.

Met with my good friend from high school, Andrea today for pizza. She asked me why I haven't called up anyone else. Honestly, I wondered that myself. I guess I've been so used to being in my own little world in Paris. I also don't like to be the person who initiates things even if it's with my good friends. It's so bizarre. Sometimes I wonder how I have as many friends as I do. I guess I'm just lucky to be friends with people more outgoing than I am.

Asked me if I missed Paris, and I said of course. How long will it take for me to get over Paris? It's hard. I've been comparing things to Paris and France a lot. Cousin Ellen called me out on it: "France this! Paris that! You're in California now!" It was funny; I hadn't noticed this behavior at all.

Also, lastly, I want to thank Elaine and Jenna for their support. You girls rock.

horoscope of hope

Here's my horoscope for today in the LA Times: "Without faith that your efforts will lead to a better life, there is no motivation to work. It's most beneficial to spend today bolstering your faith, imagining what next week will bring."

I really needed that.

I've been getting really uninspiring advice from family and whoever telling me to be a "professional student" and to just stay in school and never enter the real world. Wow, is it really that bad? And these people, they're not even trying to get in the film business or anything.

I was going to relish this one last year at school, and now, I'm not sure I want it to end as quickly as I had hoped. It's going to be difficutl; and it can all be broken down so easily. The first two were already said to me by one of my cousin's. The last two are my own:

1. I'm a girl.
2. I'm not white.
3. I'm not rich.
4. I'm not good at schmoozing or making friends.

Recipe for disaster. It's been really hard to have faith in my path despite little instances and signs. Just because the more I think about who I am and what I write and care about the more differences I see in me and the rest of my generation. I went to the mall today and stood on the second floor looking down at the center where a lot of people were congregated and said to myself, "This is the audience." And I knew, I effing knew, that without a doubt, a good percentage of these people would not care about a film that I would make. But why should I care right? I mean, it's my film, I should just be happy to make a film let alone have an audience willing to watch it. I dunno...Sorry, I'm just babbling, I can't wrap my head around any of it. God, give me strength to keep my faith.

In other things, I can't stop listening to Wax Tailor's "Que Sera".Here it is set to Fritz Lang's Metropolis---AMAZING! .

I also have an Apple one to one appointment tomorrow. Yay!

settling in

I am finally getting back into that groove. That So Cal groove that I usually adopt whenever I'm back at home during summers or breaks. Reading the LA Times before my parents can get to it (if I'm lucky and wake early). Making tea in my skivvies. Eating my Mom's multivitamins...I am back...for the most part.

Hung out with my cousin Ellen who is here from nor cal. I've got a lot of family in nor cal. Dorked out on the laptoppies all morning with my brother watching You Tube videos and when he left for work, Ellen and I got some sushi for lunch.

Ellen's staying at my Grandma's while she's here. Grandma is...an interesting character. Definitely this matriarch figure that has played an important role in all her grandchildren's lives. She's sharp, derisive, and hilarious. Always at our house parties, she'll be sitting in a really comfortable chair while my Mom or someone goes to fix her plate of food and everyone who enters the party goes to greet her first before doing anything else. And, according to Kuya, she shit-talks when she plays mah-jong.

Ellen and I hung out at G-ma's and rented some movies our theme being "school" since Ellen's a grade-school teacher and so was G-ma. Got Charlie Bartlett and Rocket Science. Around 1 am, Kuya arriving from his shift came by and we all went to Norm's for late-night grub. That just feels so So Cal to me. I remember going to Denny's or some other late night diner after prom and going to shows.

I'm starting to feel normal again, and maybe less special and unique. When in Paris, I labeled myself as "American in Paris" or maybe "study abroad student". And that was cool, you know, people found that interesting, especially when meeting American tourists. There's always this sense of superiority when walking amongst American tourists or any tourists in Paris. I've never been one to feel superior to anyone until Paris. I especially felt super cool and snob when I'd walk past them with great purpose while they stare at their maps trying to figure out the metro system. Ordering food at St. Michel and asking for sauce samurai while they just pointed at the white stuff. That felt good, I must confess. Being an American, and yet having that "in" in a crazy, sometimes harsh city. But maybe any local gets that feeling when surrounded with tourists.

I'm really going to miss that.

And now I'm just a regular student, a 5th year senior at SFSU. That window in which I can say "I just got back from Paris for a year" is shrinking. At least some people here in so cal find me being a student up north a little exotic, case in point the boys at Apple. But I need to start feeling good about myself again, without that superiority of living abroad.

Bordeaux

Finally! I've decided to write a post on each major city visited on the Franco-Spanish road trip my parents and I embarked on.

Packed my backpack and met the parentals at their hotel where we caught a cab to Charles de Gaulle airport. We picked up a Citroen Picasso C4 at Avis. Dad was mad since they had specified for a Mercedes since he's not familiar with French cars, but they were all out. I asked Dad to stick it out--that it would be cool to learn something "new". He got familiar with the controls, then we got out of there.

Dad set up his GPS Garmin thingy, and we were soon on our way to Bordeaux. I got to drive, which was nice. Arrived at Holiday Inn Express only to find out that Mom made a reservation for the next night. The sweet girl working found us a suite at a Mercure down the road since they were fully booked. That was when I realized that I forgot my passport.

Ate a delicious, expensive dinner at Mercure. Looked like hell in my jeans and hoodie while surrounded by suits finishing up deals. Service was great though. I love how I can look like crap at a fancy place and still get treated nicely. It's a rare occasion though. Server was funny to Dad, "Can I suggest a wine?...A Bordeaux perhaps?" We all laughed, and Dad got a glass of wine.

Found same day round trip tix to Paris the next day. While I get my ass back to Paris, Mom and Dad would enjoy Bordeaux. When I got back we went back to the Holiday Inn that we were originally going to stay at.

land of the free rebate, home of the 2 for 1

Went to my first One to One training session at Apple. Lanky Eric said hi while he was with a customer and was extremely nice and apologetic about yesterday's mix-up. My session was with Jay Jay, a cool, laidback guy. Funny, he went to SFSU too! I think he saw the folder on my desktop titled "SFSU cinema" and decided to ask. He's a BECA (Broadcasting Communications) major. He was really cool and patient, especially when trying to transfer files from my PC to the new laptoppy. Ended up not finishing though. He was super happy to have someone "young" to teach. I saw him minutes before our session and he was with an old lady.

Went shopping with my parents today, and it is so weird seeing people trying to rope you into buying stuff. Even Jay Jay was trying to get me to get a new ipod when I recycle my dead one. Today, in front of Costco this guy was trying to get my parents to get a new credit card. Buy, buy, buy. Why can't we just buy to replace? Not buy to fill our homes with more and more stuff.

Bought a frozen yogurt. Thing was huge in comparison to the little gelatos I've been eating. It was maybe the size of an American small soda. I couldn't finish it though, so gave the rest to my parents. Portions are huger here than I realized.

conversion

I am officially part of the Mac family.

Kuya, being the caring, rich older brother that he is, bought me a new laptoppy today, a Macbook Pro. He's really banking on this future of mine as a film writer/director. A lot of people are which puts a lot of pressure on me. He says this counts for the next Christmas and birthday. I say it counts for the next 20.

Dad was pushing me to get the laptop now before it's too late (ie Kuya removes the offer from the table) and I finally brought it up today. I got a laptop with the ipod touch which is part of the student rebate and a printer, also a part of the rebate. Kuya gets the ipod touch.

Can I just write about how absolutely adorable the boys at Apple are? I was first helped by Eric, a New Yorker who's moved to So Cal. Tall, lanky, glasses, mentioned he misses his family, plays guitar, has dogs, and majored in Radio/Film/Television. Oh my gawd, eHarmony could not have done a better job. He gave me his card. Then went home with the WRONG computer! I was too excited to check if it was glossy or matte and found out that the screen was matte.

Took it back, and was helped by another Eric. Short black hair, stubble (love it), also adorable in madras shorts and black Converse high tops. He reminded me of this camera operator I was working with and who trained me. Looked just like him so it brought back some fond memories. He was really nice even though my order was pain. Turns out they don't make the model I want in glossy. So I got the one right below it. He sort of talked me out of 2.6GHz, the original buy, saying he and his film major friend were having this discussion before how the upgrade from 2.4 to 2.6 didn't really matter. I got 2.5. I doubt the whole discussion really happened, but whatever. He was cute and helpful and getting to talk to two cute nerdy boys named Eric in one day is more than a shy girl like me can ask for. That's probably as close to a "date" as I'm going to get this summer. Although I do have a one-on-one session tomorrow with a Genius who is going to transfer my files for me. Let's cross our fingers, folks.

Have been getting used to driving which is nice because it has AC and the metro and bus AC has been nonexistest in Paris. But with gas prices being so high, I just feel so horrible driving. I might as well throw money out the window. Was flipping channels and Sabrina was on and I came in on the part where Linus asked Sabrina, "Do you miss Paris?" My response was, "Is this really happening?"

When it comes to the Spain posts...Honestly, I don't see it happening any time soon if at all. Maybe a few posts highlighting the few high points of the trip. I'll try my best.

Friends have been asking me if I'm going to end this blog. The answer is a loud and resounding yes. It's Paris for a Year, and I'm no longer in Paris. However I will continue blogging somewhere on the interwebs. I will continue to update in a sense like organize as I mean to have this blog helpful for others planning to study abroad in Paris or in general.

things to do

I have so much crap to do.

Came home to find my room a vrai bordel (literally a "real brothel" but it translates to mess or chaos) since Dad put hardwood in and then just set all my stuff on top of the furniture. I really need to get rid of a lot of stuff, because I keep everything. And if living in that Parisian studio the size of my now bedroom taught me anything, it's that my possessions should be kept to a minimal because it makes my life clutter-free. It's kind of weird adjusting to hardwood because everytime I get out of bed, I go "huh!" when my feet touch the cold, hard floor.

Met with Catherine, and she's going to find a place to live along with Morgan, my old roommate, somewhere in SF, probably the Sunset or in Daly City. I won't be too much help since I'll be down here. My only parameters are that it's biking distance to school. I'd prefer Daly City since the market's closer too, but it'd be nice to have a chance to live in the city. I don't know, I never got to really know SF, as well as I've known Paris. It'd be nice to be with unique people again though. Walked around the OC yesterday and every girl just looked like the other. Paris can be like that sometimes, but at least some people have their own individual style. Here every girl looks almost the same. I just want to go up to one of them and shake them and say, "Wake up! You can wear what you want!

Finally weighed myself for the first time, and holy crap I'm back to my senior high school weight which is the same weight I came to Paris with. CRAP. I definitely lost weight in Paris, even my parents noticed it when they visited. But I gained in Spain during our trip. I blame the late night paella eating and all the driving. I'm confident I'm going to lose it though--more confident than any of my past weight lost efforts--because even in this heat I have all this unexplainable ADD like energy. I've been cleaning my room non-stop because I just hate having disorder, and I've been working out. I just want to go to my Paris weight.