mercredi 29 août 2007

how do you say "ugh" in french?

Okay, stress still has a hold of me. We just had our French placement test which included a written grammar part, listening part, composition, and oral interview. It wasn't that bad, and I did the best that I could. I studied a little the night before going over verb tenses, but I didn't want to cram what I didn't know into one night of studying. I know what I know, and I wanted to be in the level that was right for me. There are two: intermediate and advanced, and I'm fine being in the intermediate group. I came home still feeling a bit stressed so I had one of Kathy's beers that she had in the fridge and chilled out in the room. She was really nice about letting me have it.

I got a cell phone, the pay as you go kind. It was 29E, like 50 bucks. I have to buy a card to put minutes on it though. I don't use a cell phone that much, and I figured that this was better than a plan anyway. I still need to open a bank account—lame. I have to speak to the lady in French. Argh. But that's what I'm here for, right? I wish I could be like Matt Damon in The Bourne Identity and just have a ton of cash on me, no banks, except for the Swiss bank account. That would be cool. I can't stop thinking about that film since most of it takes place in Paris. I was on Pont Neuf the other day, and I saw the building—the Samarataine—where Damon was standing looking for Chris Cooper. That was cool.

Exchanged some money, which was a total bummer since the exchange rate sucks. $1000 turned into almost 700E. Not cool. Effing A, my poor parents. I don't have any loans or scholarships, and my parents are paying my whole way here. They're totally amazing. I feel like a spoiled brat, and you probably think I'm the spoiled, rich kind, but I'm really not. I'm really thankful to have amazing parents who provide for me, want me to be safe and happy and appreciate this journey. It'll be my last crazy one, I promise. After this, I want to be in California for a while where things are cheap. God, thank you for my lovely parents and brother who have been very supportive of this journey.

I know that everything I've written so far has been cinematic and lovely, and I try to inject the stress and hardship I'm feeling as well, but truthfully, I have to tell you, that there are some times when I just feel so despondent that I want to go home. I'm serious. Even though this place is beautiful, it's still foreign, I still don't understand half of the things that I hear or are said to me, and it makes me want to cry, and hear English, and board a plane home, because there are so many more lovely things to go home to. But I don't want to be the girl who gives up (who does?). And so many people are counting on me, and that makes it even harder.

Okay, let's not end in a sad note. Here are some things that make me feel better currently:
1.two French people told me my French was good
2.I'm losing major pounds from walking and eating less—my jeans are getting pretty loose!
3. Some of the hard stuff's over. Some of it.

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