the meatball story

Okay, enough sad things. I have to stop being "saddo". I first saw the word "saddo" in a message from my cousin Fah to my brother Noel (also known as "Kuya" in recent posts). And I've adopted it and have been saying it. It's also fun to say. Say it out loud: "Saddo". Here's a link that explains the word: saddo.

So the meatball story. It's a funny story, and I've been saving it for after the sadness that is leaving my friends in San Francisco. It's truly a testament to me and my brother's social awkwardness and just one of many interesting and funny adventures that we share together.

Two weeks ago when I was here in LA, Kuya and I went to a wedding for a family friend. She went to my high school (Rosary) and was in the same year as my brother who went to Rosary's brother school (Servite). We went to the Mass first. We sat in the back since we were late. I asked him if he was getting communion, and he said no, and I said, "Is it because all your high school classmates are here?" I don't remember what he said, but he didn't get communion. What a dork.

We arrived at the reception that was in the heart of Orange County at this golf course. Kuya and I always make fun of Orange County, and I think we both secretly knew that this was going to be a riot. Sometimes, when we see some emo boy walking down the street or some skinny boy with tight pants on, we'll just look at each other, and then start laughing. Outside on the deck, there were loads of people heading to the open bar and socializing. I'd go and get drinks from the bar for my brother and parents, and we stayed inside in this sort of darkened sitting area, away from the crowd, but perfect for people watching.

Kuya then started eyeing all these people who had small plates of appetizers. I didn't know where they were getting the food. Here is what transpired.
Kuya: Go get me some meatballs.
Me: What?! No you go get meatballs. I'm not even hungry.
Kuya: I think there's meatballs and fried dumplings. They're outside on the deck. GO GET ME SOME!!!
Me: NO! You get your own! Why don't you want to go out there?!
Kuya: Why don't you want to go out there?!
Me: 'Cuz there's people out there.
Kuya: (silence)
Me: Why are you shy?
Kuya: Why are YOU shy?

This conversation went on for a while...I tried going out there to get his stupid meatballs, but then chickened out at the last second. We even prowled around the lobby area if we could see exactly where the appetizers are outside without having to go outside. It was fruitless.

Kuya: Okay...if you get me meatballs and dumplings, I will buy your backpack for Paris.
Me: Really?
Kuya: Yes. How much did you plan on spending?
Me: At the most $150.
Kuya: Okay.
Me: So you're willing to pay $150 for a small plate of meatballs and dumplings just because you don't want to have to see or talk to people.
Kuya: Just go!

I went. I thought about the deal for a second, and my Dad just told me to go already and get the stupid meatballs. I did it and was pretty stealthy about it, and I didn't have to talk to anyone. What dorks we are. What hermits. We won't even get a freaking plate of meatballs if it means having to navigate through a crowd.

goodbye san francisco: the last 2 days...

Everything is such a blur. From the packing, the lack of sleep, and the drive home I can't remember it all. And at one point I even fused the last 2 days in nor cal into this great, huge day in which so much had happened, some of it very personal, that I won't even share all of it with you. Sorry folks.

Day 7, Sunday
Breakfast with friends at a lovely cafe near the house. It was my first time there. I had French toast (appropriate no?) and potatoes on the side, and I barely finished either of them. I had no appetite for obvious reasons.

Went to see Sunshine with C., and it's funny because we saw my friend Jason there too. It was either Sunshine or Rescue Dawn, and we chose the lesser of the two downers. It was pretty deece, and I love Danny Boyle, and sci-fi, but this combination didn't totally work for me. It had some good parts though.

Went to my Grandma's (Dad's aunt) house and had a lovely dinner there. I wanted to see her before I left because she's been so hospitable to me and I was always welcome in their home in San Francisco. They have an amazing house, a truly San Franciscan home that could be a setting for something like The Royal Tenenbaums. My parents drove up that night and met up with me there too. I went home early though since I still needed to pack.

Day 8, Monday: the last day
Woke up pretty tired. I had a long but an amazing night, and I couldn't get to sleep because there was so much to think about. Everything was ready and downstairs.

C. and I got coffee, our last time getting coffee. Ben came over and he and C. helped me move out when my parents came with the truck. C. even called in sick to work and missed part of her class to help. It was so nice of them to be there for me when I left.

When I said goodbye to them, I cried. I couldn't help it; and I couldn't hold it in, as hard as I tried. But I hugged them, and then drove off following my parents in the truck.

And I swear that was the hardest drive home in my entire life. I've never driven from SF to LA alone, but I was so glad I was because there was so much to think about. And it would be so comfortable, so nice to be able to stay and go on with my warm, routine life in SF, but that was not going to happen. The choice of going abroad for a year had really cemented itself. I had willingly chosen a difficult path, and there as no turning back now. Even though there were so many good reasons for staying, I couldn't. And that was my choice, and I will have to deal with that.

Got home pretty late and pretty tired. I unpacked everything the next day.

goodbye san francisco day 5 (with more details) and 6

Ouchies. My head hurts. It might be because I've been averaging about 4 hours of sleep in the last three days, but it was totally worth it. And I should be sleeping now, but, I can't help but want to type. I've remembered a few more things about Day 5, and I wanted to write about it.

Day 5, Friday
Packing, packing, packing. I biked to the store to get some things for the picnic the next day, and I was sad because I thought that that might be the last time I bike to a store. Down here in so cal, nothing is bikeable with my single speed unless I want to die of exhaustion. I thought of buying a cheap bike in Paris, but with the new bike rental thing they started in Paris called Velib maybe I will get to bike to the store to get things. Sweet!

C. and I went to Costco for one last hot dog hurrah and to get foods for the picnic. We laughed at all the crazy people buying bulk things and getting angry because the line for food was so long. You people need to relax. Yes, hot dogs are $1.50 and come with a bottomless drink, but just chill out. A worker spilled a tub of mouthwash down an aisle, and we wanted to laugh, but we felt so bad about it, and people didn't care and would just run their carts right through the mouthwash spillage. We avoided the spill, went down another aisle, and laughed then.

When we came home, we watched our favorite quoteable film Kelly's Heroes. God, Donald Sutherland is such a riot in that film.

Day 6, Saturday
PICNIC! Oh what fun. C. and I found a lovely spot in front of the lake. It took us a while to start the fire. And we were laughing because everyone around us had this amazing fire, and we had nothing. But we got it going, and my friend Jason arrived to help us out too.

Yay yay yay more people arrive and bring goodies. My friend Brandon brought a frisbee, Stacy brought tongs (which I needed for the barbeque), Jason brought drinks, Ben brought ice cream, and my friend Andy brought me a lovely present: 50 cards with different walking paths all throughout Paris. Yay! It's already in the suitcase.

I am so thankful for the people who came and brought things and for the people who took time out of their busy lives to just bring themselves and say goodbye to me. Here are some ducks I saw at the lake: Later that night, Brandon and Ben came over to our place, and we had drinks. C. bought sake and vodka. Brandon brought wine, and Ben brought other alcoholic stuff. We watched tv mostly, passing the remote around since no one really wanted to choose something to watch. And C. was so funny, because she's so talkative when she's sauced, and she kept wanting to play soccer (it was 1 or 2am) and wanted to watch the anime Berserk. She finally got her wish with the anime, and we all conked out after the first episode. I could not have asked for a nicer night.

I will re-cap my last day and the drive home later. Nighty night.

goodbye san francisco day 4 and 5

Day 4, Thursday
Woke up with total purpose. I started packing my dishes, wrapping them in paper. Then I packed my winter clothes in my backpack, the new one I just bought. It's 3/4 packed, maybe less. I walked around the house with it on to see what it felt like. I packed maybe 4 day's worth of clothes including a heavy winter coat, and it didn't feel that bad.

Went to see Live Free or Die Hard with my friend Ben. We both have been wanting to see the film for a while. It was really good! Lots of great action sequences, and Justin Long was a good sidekick--not the whiny, annoying kind. We then ate at Tani's Kitchen, a little Japanese hole in the wall that's oh-so tasty and cheap. We took it back to my place where we watched parts of End of Days with C.

Later, I met with my friend Noriko on campus because I wanted to see her before I left. We had chai tea lattes at Borders--thanks for the latte! We talked, then conversed over books. We took a photo with a bookshelf in the background. It felt very Wes Anderson-esque. Then we parted ways--so sad! I asked her if she wanted anything, and she told me that she wanted me to intricately describe a dessert to her. She loves desserts. I will do so in my future posts. I asked her if she could make a mix cd for me for one of my travels to the countryside of France that I could listen to on the train since she loves making mix cds. Yay! I lurve music. All she had to do was mention Arcade Fire, and I was instantly thrilled.

Day 5, Friday
Started packing some more. My friend Jason from my last job called me if I wanted to go to lunch, and we ate at my favorite Pho place around the corner. It was tasty. Especially since it was a cold day.

Then we drove by the park where my picnic is taking place. I wanted to scope it out. C. came home, and we went to Costco to buy things for the picnic. We watched Reign of Fire after 'cuz Matthew Mcounnaghey (sp?), Christian Bale, and Gerard Butler are in it, and C. calls that a "trifecta". I was just happy to watch because Christian Bale's in it.

goodbye san fran day 3

Day 3. It's my friend Stacy's birthday. Happy B-day! We went with our other friend Rachel and saw Michael Moore's Sicko. Very good. I cried sometimes. There was a French bit, of course, since France has universal health care. I understood the French bits without the subtitles. It was exciting. Promising.

We then went to Mitchell's (see post below) to pick up her ice cream cake. She's a cinema studies major, and so her cake looks like a movie theatre screen with red curtains. We had an early dinner at Burgermeister. Stacy and I shared an avocado burger, and it was tasty. She and Rachel had root beer floats, and I had plain root beer. I thought that maybe they didn't have root beer in France, and tears almost came to my eyes...Not really. But there was some sadness. It feels stupid to miss something like root beer.

We enjoyed Stacy's cake back at her place, then I went home. Her and her friends went to enjoy the jazz festival in North Beach. I wasn't feeling well--major headache. I think it was my contact lenses.

goodbye san fran day 2

Yesterday (Day 2 Tuesday) was ever so loverly. Woke up and had my usual tea after dropping my roommate Catherine at school since I was going to pick her up later so I can go to Berkeley and get my backpack.

We headed to Wilderness Exchange. I read about this place on Yelp when I was looking for the North Face outlet, and it had a lot of great reviews so I thought I might check it out.

I was immediately greeted by the salesman Jim who had cool dreadlocks and looked like he came straight from climbing or a camping trip. I told him what I needed, and he took me straight to the backpacks. I asked him loads of questions, which he helpfully answered, and then he left us alone to look around.

I was immediately drawn to this one:
It was in my price range (it cost $119), and it was totally cute, which wasn't really a requirement, but it helps. The brand also looked French, or at least French Canadian. I admit it--I do care about brands. And I thought, "Hey--maybe people'll think I'm French and not mess around with me."

Anyway, I tried it on, and it fit very well. There was a crate full of sandbag weights, and Catherine and I stuffed 10 pound and 5 pound sandbags in it to mimic what it'll feel like when it's packed. Then I walked around the store in it for a couple of minutes. It felt good. It had everything I was looking for: compression straps, rain cover, and it was top and bottom loading. It was perfect. I bought it.

Then we headed over to the North Face outlet. They had loads of stuff that was still pretty expensive, but North Face is pretty expensive. I was looking for some sort of sporty winter jacket, anything that might keep me warm during the cold winter months. We headed to the back where there were loads of open boxes bursting with jackets on rows of tables. A total chaotic mess of goretex. I didn't think I'd find anything. We went down the row of women's and I plunged my hand into a box bringing out a brown down jacket. I put it on, and it fit! It was perfection. Catherine got mad at me for finding something so quickly. I held onto it and found another that had a fur hood attached and took that one instead. It was $100, which I was totally prepared to pay, and the lady rung it up and it was $50. I wanted to cry. How lucky am I. It's warm, cozy, waterproof and totally cute for Paris.

Back in the city, we went to Mitchell's for the best ice cream on Earth. Or at least in San Francisco. C. had chocolate, and I had strawberries n' cream. We sat on a bench in front and missed the early afternoon ice cream rush.

Later, I had dinner with my good cinema friends Brian and Ryan. They can't make it to my party. Brian actually left for LA today. We ate at Kiki Sushi on 9th and Irving, and it was very tasty. I also lurve that place because they have loads of Miyazaki's anime on its walls. Very cute and friendly place for cheap Japanese. Brian gave me this cute little guy seen on my new backpack:
He's a NINJA! I lurve him--thanks Brian! I'm taking him everywhere with me so that I can take pics of him wherever he goes. It's going to be fun. Like Amelie with the gnome.

We also went to Yancy's Saloon, just up the street. Brian bought me an apple martini which was really awesome of him. He had a white russian, like the Dude, and Ryan had scotch and soda water. I don't remember the name of the scotch. It's a cool bar, very chill since it was only a Tuesday night, and actually the first bar I've been to here since turning 21.

We said our goodbyes (sad!), and I hugged Brian twice since I won't see him for a while!!! Hopefully he'll be down in LA doing sound on numerous films when I return--goodbye Brian! I hugged Ryan anyway since I'll see him Saturday night.

Afterwards, I headed to Tart to Tart to get some coffee since my friend Ben was stopping by after work and he gets off around midnight. That place brings back memories since I used to sit in the cafe when I was spending parts of my summer in SF with my Kuya ("older brother" in Tagalog). He went to UCSF. I'd sit there and write or people watch. Good times. I was young, and I wasn't in college yet, and I loved to write and I loved film, and I still wasn't sure what I really wanted to do with my life, but I knew that it would come to me, and I wasn't scared.

Came home and watched Kelly's Heroes with C.. It's one of our favorite films. Telly Savalas and Donald Sutherland are amazing. Then Ben came over and we watched some random stuff from a Metal Gear Solid trailer to Young Guns II to bits of anime. It was fun. Then I kicked him out since I was getting tired.

So...a good day.

goodbye san fran week: day 1

I arrived yesterday in the Bay area. I'm back for a week or so before I bring everything down to So Cal for good. It's so weird being here for such a short time and saying goodbye.

I was driving across the Bay Bridge into the city and listening to Elliott Smith's "Bottle Up and Explode!" (XO album) which is perfect for driving across the Bay Bridge because it starts sort of slow and times perfectly with the ascent and then when you finally hit the middle, the song's fast and it's nice with all the orange street lights and everyone speeding to the city. You can almost believe that everyone's listening to the same song, and it makes you happy because maybe they're going somewhere nice, like a party or dinner or a club or even home, and all I could think about was my home for the past school year.

I was sad, at first. But it seems like it's time for a different scenery and a change. I've become comfortable. The same bike route to school. The visit to Trader's Joes every other week for soy milk. I need change; I fear ruts. I need to grow. San Francisco has been good to me these past three years. I'm too soft. And now Paris...Paris is going to be mean and rude to me, I can feel it. But I need to experience it. I need to know.

I planned a picnic/barbeque with friends this Saturday. I'm also hanging out with people althroughout the week to say goodbye. I've already said goodbye to my friend Emilyn who's leaving for the Phillippines. She's my first goodbye here, I'm pretty sure. It hit me that I won't see her for a year. It felt so terrible, and then it went away. We both accepted it. The year will go by fast. We'll see each other next summer.

Tomorrow, day 2 of goodbye, includes dinner with a friend, and I'm going to go find a new backpack.