In addition to the stress of school (craploads due before Christmas), there's just this overall stress of trying to make sense of this past semester here. We've come almost to the halfway point. What's different now? There's the expectation to come home a different person. And of course we'll come back a different person, but underlying this "different" is that we're supposed to come home a "better" person or finally resolved/found/accomplished something. What if that doesn't happen. What if we come back home a jerk? I don't think I'll come home a jerk, but I just have this feeling that when I get home there's going to be some disappointment.
I'm taking the advice of a friend that suggested ways to combat depression. Not that I'm depressed, at least I don't think I am, but I do engage in activities that those depressed would engage in. But I'm not depressed! Don't worry! So here's the plan:
1. Stop sleeping late: I'm going to sleep at least 8 hours a day.
2. Three meals a day: I've lost my appetite usually by the end of a crappy day or am too tired to eat something. Being with friends is good, because I like eating with people.
3. Stop watching movies online!: Totally against my principles, but I let it go this year since I'm poor and they don't have Netflix here. I'll limit to 2 films a week. This is valuable museum/learning time that I'm wasting when I'm waiting for a Nic Cage film to download. I admit I watched National Treasure here because I missed America.
As depressing as this post seems, it felt really good to write it. Now for some happy things...After class today, Suzie and I went to H&M on rue de Rivoli. I initially wanted to just look around and kind of wanted something to wear for Christmas. Bought a brown jersey dress that's in the same style as an olive one I have, a winter Radiohead-esque sweatshirt (it reminds me of Radiohead for some reason, and radiohead has been saving my life via my ipod shuffle)
, and a scarf. I'm really happy with the things I bought. They weren't really impulse purchases, I mean I had good reason to buy them. The dress to wear for Christmas, the sweatshirt because some of my hoodies are getting ratty, and the scarf for...well, it looked really cute! I guess I'm not so close to enlightened detachment from material things after all. Tried on several pairs of different sized pants to test out how much weight I've lost, and I'm now down two sizes. Yeah! Didn't buy them or anything, just wanted to see where I was at. Also bought boots online that are badass as heck, but won't be getting them for a while. They're definitely better than the boots here, and they're way more durable. More bang for your buck, as they say. They're Engineer boots made by Frye, the oldest shoe company in the US. Their boots were worn by both sides of the American Civil war. I love history like that. And I've always wanted a pair of boots like these. I figured they're more cost effective since tall boots are more of a winter thing, and I'm only spending one winter here, why not buy an amazing pair of boots I can wear all year and they get better with age? Anyway, Keira Knightley is wearing them here:
Got a snack then went to Melissa's place in St. Michel. Hung out with Kristin, Nayo, Melissa, Sarah, and Kathy. Then we went to Gare du Nord area for Indian food. Met Sally there, and Susie's friend Jason came along. He's from New York and his year abroad is almost over. He's really nice and looks just like Jon Heder (the actor that plays Napoleon Dynamite). I'd say he looks likes Napoleon Dynamite just to make fun, but I didn't. After, Suzie and I went to Shywawa to meet up with Taylor and his bf, Aaron. Didn't drink, but just hung out for a while, it was nice. I feel like I'm learning more and more now how to socialize better which'll be a good thing for me to have when I start working in film. I'm learning something! Yay!