paris for a year

Mon amie a Paris!

2009-02-04T09:00:00.002-08:00

Hello again friends!

I've been getting emails from lovely people asking me questions about my year in Paris and seeking advice. It's really nice.

I know I'm not in Paris, but Fanyi is and you can check out her blog here at :Reflections Aboard Paris Express.

Some updates: I'm finishing my last semester at school, and I'm awaiting to hear back on an internship in southern California. Wish me luck!

Salut!

2008-12-07T10:13:00.002-08:00

Hey all, it's been a while.

I went private for a while--if you've been trying to visit and found that you couldn't view the site--but I'm back to being public for the sake of posterity. I want people who are interested in my study abroad experience to be able to read my ups and downs on my year in Paris.

As for an update, I am on my way towards a film degree. French is on the back burner since my school has been facing some budget cuts, and I won't be able to complete both degrees at the same time. I've decided to go with film since it is more of my passion than French is. It was not an easy decision to make, but I think it's for the best.

Thanks again to all those who've supported me and my blog in the past. See you in another life.

Love,
Elaine

update!

2008-09-10T14:47:00.004-07:00

Bonjour tout le monde!

Everything is going swell these days. I'm adjusting to life back in SF which is quite peachy. Kuya's wedding went really well and was a lot of fun. Have been running into Paris people or just finding out through the grapevine that a lot of my classmates from Paris have French boyfriends. It made me really happy to hear that.

If you're trying to read "this cozy skull", sorry, but that blog is now private and all readers must be approved by me.

a year ago

2008-08-25T10:25:00.006-07:00

Yesterday, while on the way to Ikea with Lucia, I realized that a year ago we arrived in Paris.

When I look back on that girl I think, "OH YOU ARE SO NAIVE!!!" haha...But seriously, a year has changed A LOT, and I wouldn't trade my year in Paris for anything else. I am so happy that it has brought me to a place where I am now, mentally. Physically, not so much--I'm back in SF. But if I can get through a year in Paris, I can get through a year in SF. Believe me.

I don't ever want to be the girl I was back then, and moving back here feels like a step backwards, a road towards that other girl. It's not like moving back to LA, which will always be home. But SF has always felt temporary, never my home, just a vacation from family. Maybe it'll change this year, but I really wouldn't care if it did since I can't wait to go back to LA. At least, I'm making our place (Lucia is my roommate!) a real sanctuary.

prepare for re-entry

2008-08-12T22:46:00.003-07:00

Finally, finally, finally, had my money transferred from Paris to here. Took them long enough. Already had forgotten how incredibly slow the French system can be.

SFSU is offering a re-entry workshop for all study abroad students to "prepare" us for "life after study abroad". Unfortunately, I can't make it. I think we're all dealing in our own ways to adjust to life back here. Me, I'm just so swamped with stuff to do that I forget to miss the things I'm missing. I miss my tiny studio and what little I had. Everything was so simple. I just just what I needed, and that was enough. Here I have too much, but that's because I keep everything.

As for changes, I dress better than I used to. I think I'm less afraid to be dressy. I take better care of myself too, healthwise. My childhood friend who used to live across the street is getting married. She's only a year older than me. Right now, we're the same age, but she'll be a year older in November. I used to have a crush on her older brother, who is an Air Force hottie. My cousin also has a crush on him, haha. He'll be at my brother's wedding.

rebonjour

2008-08-03T10:56:00.006-07:00

Hello again.

I've been missing Paris of late...Not too badly, but just the little things. Like taking the metro or the 28 bus and getting off at Notre Dame. Getting a noisette at the Saint Medard and watching all the world pass me by. Or sitting with friends in the back of a bar with a demi-citron. Eating a grec or falafel standing up in a public place. Walking everywhere, being surrounded by complete strangers, lovely boys, and pretty girls.

I've been driving everywhere, spending lots of time in traffic. Having coffee in cafes. Walking in public, but commercial, places.

It's not the same.

Of course not, and it'll never be the same. But I made a vow a while back to live every year like "Year Paris". Yeah, I gave it a name, Year Paris. Something like "kilometer zero". Year Paris was the most interesting, exciting year of my life, and while I might not top Year Paris just yet, I can make a promise to live as close to it as possible.

Right now, not doing so well.

i could punch something someone right now

2008-07-22T06:19:00.003-07:00

BLURG! Finally got a hold of my bank. I got the numbers. But ARGH! the lady was so freaking difficult. What is it with French people that they delight in making people who maybe don't speak their language so well feel like idiot children. I called and all I got was a drawn out, "oui?" and then I thought, "Oh God, here I go"...I explained everything and after each point I got another drawn out, "Oui?"

I wish there was a way to punch someone in the face over the phone.

I thought "who the f*** is this" so I asked if this was the same lady and if she remembered who I was at all, and I got another "oui". So I said, "Give me my money, pute!" No. I didn't. I wish I did though.

So she gave me the numbers and then repeated them in effing English for chrissakes. I've been saying "chrissakes" a lot after I heard Mom saying it. I'm going to fax them the order later when a faxing store is open. Blurg.

Glad that's over and done with. Damn, those frogs still can manage to piss me off thousands of miles away. I am thankful for one lovely Italian frog, Adriano, my hook-up at the bank who, after checking my mail after the call, sent me the numbers by email. So, talking to that asshole lady could have been avoided, but whatever.

new news

2008-07-21T02:09:00.002-07:00

Had my Tommy's burger fix yesterday at the original in LA, so I'm good for like another year when it comes to burgers. Yum.

I'm starting up another blog and will begin posting there soon since my posts here are sort of starting to be less Paris themed. The most mention you get from Paris are people's reactions to my coming back and all that. Will still try to post about my Spain and south of France adventures, but stuff keeps piling up for me to do so we'll see what happens.

I'll post the link to the new blog up here once it's ready. What's exciting about this, for me at least, is that this'll be the first time that I'll be connecting two personal blogs together. What I usually do is that I start one and end it and start new again. My old readers are usually referred to the new blog, but never new readers to the old ones. So there could still be people reading this from three blogs back. I've been writing online since middle school. So this is history!

Ever since my last One to One at Apple, I've been kind of hesitant to going back there despite the cute boys. I had to cancel mine today to take Grandma to the doctor's which I'm glad for because I was so sure I'd get the same, serious guy who was interested looking at my photos on iPhoto. Creepy, right? I forgot to mention that. Luckily, I had my production photos from a film I worked on on the laptoppy, so I showed him that.

School is around the corner, so I must bring out my inner geek and go shopping. I need a new external hard drive to store all my Paris photos and such. Also need Final Draft for the laptoppy which I will now refer to as the Big Mac unless I find a cooler name. Hopefully someone at school can beer me a copy along with Final Cut--I'm horrible I know, but I'm a poor film student. My film TAs even support the sharing of expensive softwares. I will pay for software once I get a steady job, I promise.

People have been buggin' me (most notably old classmates who know I'm majoring in film) about The Dark Knight which I will see but I wanted it to be in a setting where I won't be bothered. So will see it Imax-style this week hopefully.

You might have noticed in my Dopplr that I'm planning a trip to Las Vegas in a few weeks. Will try my hand at the slots again to see if I'm still lucky. And maybe some outlet shopping for school clothes, yay! I also love love love people watching in Vegas. It's probably one of my more favorite places to people watch.

memory lane

2008-07-20T09:43:00.004-07:00

Last night was a really fun night. This guy David I grew up and went to school with from kindergarten to 8th grade graduated from UCSD with a chemical engineering degree. His grad party/birthday party was last night. I went along with Cher.

It was really cool to catch up with him especially since we haven't seen each other in a long time. We talked about our old classmates and reminisced over funny school stories. His parents are the sweetest people in the world and his Dad kept telling David's friends really embarrassing stuff about me which was not cool, but hilarious still. Everyone kept asking me about Paris which is natural, but I find it so hard to talk about or to sum up so I just say, "I had a good time. I learned a lot." which seems so broad to me and does no justice to what actually happened.

Learned that David was hoping to work in alternative fuels and just got turned down from a job about creating a universal blood. It made me so happy that David wanted and was actively pursuing careers that would hopefully make the world a better place. Universal blood. Alternative fuels. I joked, "You're a superhero, David. You're going to save us." "Not yet," he answered.

There were questions of my future, but broad ones that didn't pain me to answer with a hint of uncertainty. Just what was in store for me for the next year. No one questioned what would happen after graduation, and I was glad for it. All I got was suggestions that I "should come home".

I thought long and hard, after the party, about how I wanted to do something noble with my degree like David set out with his. I wanted to be a hero too and save the world even if it only meant abstractly and in minuscule maybe innumerable figures.

I thought a long time, while brushing my teeth, changing into my pjs, and in the dark and found it hard to fall asleep.

more nights on bikes

2008-07-18T17:40:00.000-07:00

It's almost 3 am. Just got back from night biking in PJs with the Midnight Ridazz of West Hollywood (or Weho) and then tacos at King Taco on Olympic and Downey. Fun then yum.

I'm sore and my knees are shredded from running red lights, constant braking from near misses, and, oh yeah, biking for 10+ miles. Yet I feel awesome. There were dozens of us taking the lanes, yelling and ringing our bells for passersby, drivers, and clubbers. We owned the road. People would yell at us, "What's going on?!" or "Yeah! Bike for a cause!" or, my personal favorite from a homeless man hanging with a Jack Sparrow impersonator near Hollywood and Vine: "BIKER GANG! BIKER GANG!"

I wore my PJs. Lots of cute boys wore their boxer shorts or even briefs. How daring. One cute boy lost a nut in his brake when we stopped to see if he was okay, and he asked me for one. Lovely. Unfortunately, I had no nuts.

An awesome group of people, I would do this again. I am tired though, must sleeps now.

mo' money, mo' problems

2008-07-17T17:24:00.006-07:00

I feel like I've used this post title before, but I don't care.

Finally tried to call my bank in Paris to finalize this money bullcrap, but no dice. Phone card wouldn't work. Didn't want to talk to the lady who was such a b-word to me. Kuya came in after playing pool, and I asked him to call for me and he exclaimed, "I don't speak French!" Fine, fine.

Tomorrow might go biking at night in Hollywood with this group that does themed biking. Tomorrow's theme is "Pajamas" I think. I might do a whole Darjeeling thing and wear my Brooks Brothers pajama pants and a gray tank top or the top and shorts. I also have those sleeping masks that I'll wear around my hair like a hairband. Beige loafers will complete the ensemble. My blue Schwinn named Blue is ready to go. Kuya joked that maybe the Erics from Apple will be there. I nicknamed them Eric Oneapple and Eric Twoapple, Eric Twoapple being my favorite.

Pre-production is underway for the wedding film. This is probably my favorite part. All the planning and scheduling. I hope that I can get a hold of Final Cut Pro from someone at school so that I can skip the whole iMovie thing. Don't get me wrong, I love the simpliciy of iMovie, but why use that when I know and need to learn more about Final Cut. We'll see.

Thinking about the future again. Blurg. More and more people are telling me to cherish school and all that. Kuya offered to let me stay at his awesome condo in Northridge, close to all those movie studios after I graduate. He will rent me the master bedroom in the 4 bedroom mini-house for $800. That house is beautiful and a dream. There's a pool down the street, it's a bike ride away from the stores, and great surround sound system. Everything is contingent on me finding a job though in LA.

I kind of want to sell a lot of my stuff or just get rid of all this clutter in my room. Sometimes I see the stuff that I bought a while ago and go, "What was I thinking?" I no longer feel the need to buy, buy, buy. It all just complicates my life. I also come across stuff that I've saved and go, "Why did I keep this? Why was this important to me?" as I toss it in the trash. I think the best way to keep my memories is to just have a few of them, the few that will mean something to me later.

Wait, I kind of have an idea...

Are you interested in my memories? In my little keepsakes that I saved all throughout my year in Paris? I've gathered too much as you've noted. As a thank you for being my blog supporter throughout my year in Paris, I'd like to send you something. It might be a postcard I picked out, a museum stub, maybe a map of Paris I used to carry around. I've got brand tags from clothing I bought, metro stubs, receipts. I will mail you two or three things that I've chosen along with a written description of how I've come across them or a story about them.

If you're interested, email me your address (I will be extremely confidential, no worries) at thiscozyskull (at) gmail dot com. And if you don't like what I sent you, then at least you'd have a nice handwritten letter in fountain pen by me!

Madrid

2008-07-16T18:00:00.003-07:00

Crossed the border into Spain, no problem. Drove by some lovely beach towns, but headed straight for Madrid. Checked into the Holiday Inn just outside the city.

The next day we drove into the city and found a parking spot, but it was far from El Prado. We took a taxi, and it wasn't that expensive. Dad was really excited to see the paintings of El Bosco. They're really dark and creepy, but very fascinating. I can probably stare at "The Garden of Earthly Delights" for hours looking at each figure. Saw some Goya too and Velázquez. I love "Las Meninas". It's just so cinematic. I kind of like breaking the third wall sometimes in films, it's so powerful.Had late lunch in Madrid's huge park, Parque del Retiro. Bocadillos with serrano ham--yum. It was really hot. There were loads of people on paddleboats out on the lake though. Looked like fun. Walked to the car, which wasn't that far and drove back to the hotel to rest.

Next stop, Toledo!

pink's and beans

2008-07-15T22:36:00.004-07:00

Went to the bank this morning where Mom made me co-owner for her safety deposit box. It feels so cool and old-timey to have a safety deposit box. She gave me a jade bracelet from her trip to China since I accidentally dropped mine on my Parisian studio brick floor.

Hung out with more of the fam-bam. Cousin Eric and his fam came from Texas and we all went to window-shop on Melrose Ave. Traffic was hellish. Didn't find anything that cool except for some flats that were $225, handmade and awesome with a freaking quote etched into the sole of the shoe. My kind of shoe. Took down the name of the designer just in case I win the lotto or something.

Had late lunch at Pink's--yeah, I know, very touristy, but they came all the way from Texas! Why not?! I remember my film friend, Phill who works up the street at Mole-Richardson, a lighting company, and how he stood in line next to Cuba Gooding Jr. No celebs by us though. I kind of don't care for LA sometimes. Like today, there were a lot of phony people out and people that you could tell just cared about their looks and the looks of the people they were with. Just hipster phonies. But I better get used to them sooner or later.

Late dinner back at the house. Steak, green beans from the house farm (SO YUM!), rice, fruit salad. Tasty as always. Had to drive back to LA around 11pm--that's my favorite time to drive around. No traffic, usually. It was such a lovely drive. All the lights aglow in the misty haze of smog. It's times like these that I love LA, when I'm cut off behind glass staring at it all as if it was in a snow globe.

Got mixed notes from the fam and cousins. Cousin Eric said I was "bolder". I guess because when they make fun and joke at my expense, I used to take it and not say anything back, and now I do say stuff back, so now I'm "bolder". But then Dad said today that I was "too shy" and need to "show off" more. Very interesting...

apple and pizza

2008-07-14T16:48:00.007-07:00

I am awesome. I just figured it all out. Not "all" out, but I finally figured it all while getting my schedule ready for school.

I picked up a lot of lecture classes when it comes to cinema and two screenwriting classes. I figure since I don't have the money to produce my own films for school, I figure I'll use this last year to really hone in my writing skills and work on story structure and all that. And THEN I'll work on other people's films therefore not spending my own hard cash. That way I can still get experience on set and be part of a crew, which I LOVE, and still get to write although I won't be filming anything. I just happen to find that better than trying to get money to make a film. Especially at this point I should be well into pre-production, but I have NOTHING to film.

I think it's a good plan. That way I don't overload and get a serious breakdown. I mean, I just came back from Paris I should maybe take it a little easy for the next semester.

Awesome. That was the plan from the get go anyway, and I'm glad my schedule worked out.

One to One at the Apple store today. There's still a line out there for the phone, but I got in like I was on some sort of guest list at a club. Felt pretty nice. The guy was okay. I dunno, it just didn't seem like the guy was enthused. He was kind of scary, like scary serious. Homeboy would not smile, even when I'd make a joke. Whatever. I still learned a lot from him, but it's nice to have a teacher who is easy to be with and energetic. Maybe it's just me and I have particular tastes now. Scheduled another one to one for next week. Just hope it's not with Oscar the Grouch. I did see the two cute Erics working so that made my day.

Met with my good friend from high school, Andrea today for pizza. She asked me why I haven't called up anyone else. Honestly, I wondered that myself. I guess I've been so used to being in my own little world in Paris. I also don't like to be the person who initiates things even if it's with my good friends. It's so bizarre. Sometimes I wonder how I have as many friends as I do. I guess I'm just lucky to be friends with people more outgoing than I am.

Asked me if I missed Paris, and I said of course. How long will it take for me to get over Paris? It's hard. I've been comparing things to Paris and France a lot. Cousin Ellen called me out on it: "France this! Paris that! You're in California now!" It was funny; I hadn't noticed this behavior at all.

Also, lastly, I want to thank Elaine and Jenna for their support. You girls rock.

horoscope of hope

2008-07-13T09:45:00.006-07:00

Here's my horoscope for today in the LA Times: "Without faith that your efforts will lead to a better life, there is no motivation to work. It's most beneficial to spend today bolstering your faith, imagining what next week will bring."

I really needed that.

I've been getting really uninspiring advice from family and whoever telling me to be a "professional student" and to just stay in school and never enter the real world. Wow, is it really that bad? And these people, they're not even trying to get in the film business or anything.

I was going to relish this one last year at school, and now, I'm not sure I want it to end as quickly as I had hoped. It's going to be difficutl; and it can all be broken down so easily. The first two were already said to me by one of my cousin's. The last two are my own:

1. I'm a girl.
2. I'm not white.
3. I'm not rich.
4. I'm not good at schmoozing or making friends.

Recipe for disaster. It's been really hard to have faith in my path despite little instances and signs. Just because the more I think about who I am and what I write and care about the more differences I see in me and the rest of my generation. I went to the mall today and stood on the second floor looking down at the center where a lot of people were congregated and said to myself, "This is the audience." And I knew, I effing knew, that without a doubt, a good percentage of these people would not care about a film that I would make. But why should I care right? I mean, it's my film, I should just be happy to make a film let alone have an audience willing to watch it. I dunno...Sorry, I'm just babbling, I can't wrap my head around any of it. God, give me strength to keep my faith.

In other things, I can't stop listening to Wax Tailor's "Que Sera".Here it is set to Fritz Lang's Metropolis---AMAZING! .

I also have an Apple one to one appointment tomorrow. Yay!

settling in

2008-07-11T02:41:00.008-07:00

I am finally getting back into that groove. That So Cal groove that I usually adopt whenever I'm back at home during summers or breaks. Reading the LA Times before my parents can get to it (if I'm lucky and wake early). Making tea in my skivvies. Eating my Mom's multivitamins...I am back...for the most part.

Hung out with my cousin Ellen who is here from nor cal. I've got a lot of family in nor cal. Dorked out on the laptoppies all morning with my brother watching You Tube videos and when he left for work, Ellen and I got some sushi for lunch.

Ellen's staying at my Grandma's while she's here. Grandma is...an interesting character. Definitely this matriarch figure that has played an important role in all her grandchildren's lives. She's sharp, derisive, and hilarious. Always at our house parties, she'll be sitting in a really comfortable chair while my Mom or someone goes to fix her plate of food and everyone who enters the party goes to greet her first before doing anything else. And, according to Kuya, she shit-talks when she plays mah-jong.

Ellen and I hung out at G-ma's and rented some movies our theme being "school" since Ellen's a grade-school teacher and so was G-ma. Got Charlie Bartlett and Rocket Science. Around 1 am, Kuya arriving from his shift came by and we all went to Norm's for late-night grub. That just feels so So Cal to me. I remember going to Denny's or some other late night diner after prom and going to shows.

I'm starting to feel normal again, and maybe less special and unique. When in Paris, I labeled myself as "American in Paris" or maybe "study abroad student". And that was cool, you know, people found that interesting, especially when meeting American tourists. There's always this sense of superiority when walking amongst American tourists or any tourists in Paris. I've never been one to feel superior to anyone until Paris. I especially felt super cool and snob when I'd walk past them with great purpose while they stare at their maps trying to figure out the metro system. Ordering food at St. Michel and asking for sauce samurai while they just pointed at the white stuff. That felt good, I must confess. Being an American, and yet having that "in" in a crazy, sometimes harsh city. But maybe any local gets that feeling when surrounded with tourists.

I'm really going to miss that.

And now I'm just a regular student, a 5th year senior at SFSU. That window in which I can say "I just got back from Paris for a year" is shrinking. At least some people here in so cal find me being a student up north a little exotic, case in point the boys at Apple. But I need to start feeling good about myself again, without that superiority of living abroad.

Bordeaux

2008-07-09T20:07:00.006-07:00

Finally! I've decided to write a post on each major city visited on the Franco-Spanish road trip my parents and I embarked on.

Packed my backpack and met the parentals at their hotel where we caught a cab to Charles de Gaulle airport. We picked up a Citroen Picasso C4 at Avis. Dad was mad since they had specified for a Mercedes since he's not familiar with French cars, but they were all out. I asked Dad to stick it out--that it would be cool to learn something "new". He got familiar with the controls, then we got out of there.

Dad set up his GPS Garmin thingy, and we were soon on our way to Bordeaux. I got to drive, which was nice. Arrived at Holiday Inn Express only to find out that Mom made a reservation for the next night. The sweet girl working found us a suite at a Mercure down the road since they were fully booked. That was when I realized that I forgot my passport.

Ate a delicious, expensive dinner at Mercure. Looked like hell in my jeans and hoodie while surrounded by suits finishing up deals. Service was great though. I love how I can look like crap at a fancy place and still get treated nicely. It's a rare occasion though. Server was funny to Dad, "Can I suggest a wine?...A Bordeaux perhaps?" We all laughed, and Dad got a glass of wine.

Found same day round trip tix to Paris the next day. While I get my ass back to Paris, Mom and Dad would enjoy Bordeaux. When I got back we went back to the Holiday Inn that we were originally going to stay at.

land of the free rebate, home of the 2 for 1

2008-07-08T18:31:00.003-07:00

Went to my first One to One training session at Apple. Lanky Eric said hi while he was with a customer and was extremely nice and apologetic about yesterday's mix-up. My session was with Jay Jay, a cool, laidback guy. Funny, he went to SFSU too! I think he saw the folder on my desktop titled "SFSU cinema" and decided to ask. He's a BECA (Broadcasting Communications) major. He was really cool and patient, especially when trying to transfer files from my PC to the new laptoppy. Ended up not finishing though. He was super happy to have someone "young" to teach. I saw him minutes before our session and he was with an old lady.

Went shopping with my parents today, and it is so weird seeing people trying to rope you into buying stuff. Even Jay Jay was trying to get me to get a new ipod when I recycle my dead one. Today, in front of Costco this guy was trying to get my parents to get a new credit card. Buy, buy, buy. Why can't we just buy to replace? Not buy to fill our homes with more and more stuff.

Bought a frozen yogurt. Thing was huge in comparison to the little gelatos I've been eating. It was maybe the size of an American small soda. I couldn't finish it though, so gave the rest to my parents. Portions are huger here than I realized.

conversion

2008-07-07T20:07:00.008-07:00

I am officially part of the Mac family.

Kuya, being the caring, rich older brother that he is, bought me a new laptoppy today, a Macbook Pro. He's really banking on this future of mine as a film writer/director. A lot of people are which puts a lot of pressure on me. He says this counts for the next Christmas and birthday. I say it counts for the next 20.

Dad was pushing me to get the laptop now before it's too late (ie Kuya removes the offer from the table) and I finally brought it up today. I got a laptop with the ipod touch which is part of the student rebate and a printer, also a part of the rebate. Kuya gets the ipod touch.

Can I just write about how absolutely adorable the boys at Apple are? I was first helped by Eric, a New Yorker who's moved to So Cal. Tall, lanky, glasses, mentioned he misses his family, plays guitar, has dogs, and majored in Radio/Film/Television. Oh my gawd, eHarmony could not have done a better job. He gave me his card. Then went home with the WRONG computer! I was too excited to check if it was glossy or matte and found out that the screen was matte.

Took it back, and was helped by another Eric. Short black hair, stubble (love it), also adorable in madras shorts and black Converse high tops. He reminded me of this camera operator I was working with and who trained me. Looked just like him so it brought back some fond memories. He was really nice even though my order was pain. Turns out they don't make the model I want in glossy. So I got the one right below it. He sort of talked me out of 2.6GHz, the original buy, saying he and his film major friend were having this discussion before how the upgrade from 2.4 to 2.6 didn't really matter. I got 2.5. I doubt the whole discussion really happened, but whatever. He was cute and helpful and getting to talk to two cute nerdy boys named Eric in one day is more than a shy girl like me can ask for. That's probably as close to a "date" as I'm going to get this summer. Although I do have a one-on-one session tomorrow with a Genius who is going to transfer my files for me. Let's cross our fingers, folks.

Have been getting used to driving which is nice because it has AC and the metro and bus AC has been nonexistest in Paris. But with gas prices being so high, I just feel so horrible driving. I might as well throw money out the window. Was flipping channels and Sabrina was on and I came in on the part where Linus asked Sabrina, "Do you miss Paris?" My response was, "Is this really happening?"

When it comes to the Spain posts...Honestly, I don't see it happening any time soon if at all. Maybe a few posts highlighting the few high points of the trip. I'll try my best.

Friends have been asking me if I'm going to end this blog. The answer is a loud and resounding yes. It's Paris for a Year, and I'm no longer in Paris. However I will continue blogging somewhere on the interwebs. I will continue to update in a sense like organize as I mean to have this blog helpful for others planning to study abroad in Paris or in general.

things to do

2008-07-06T05:32:00.006-07:00

I have so much crap to do.

Came home to find my room a vrai bordel (literally a "real brothel" but it translates to mess or chaos) since Dad put hardwood in and then just set all my stuff on top of the furniture. I really need to get rid of a lot of stuff, because I keep everything. And if living in that Parisian studio the size of my now bedroom taught me anything, it's that my possessions should be kept to a minimal because it makes my life clutter-free. It's kind of weird adjusting to hardwood because everytime I get out of bed, I go "huh!" when my feet touch the cold, hard floor.

Met with Catherine, and she's going to find a place to live along with Morgan, my old roommate, somewhere in SF, probably the Sunset or in Daly City. I won't be too much help since I'll be down here. My only parameters are that it's biking distance to school. I'd prefer Daly City since the market's closer too, but it'd be nice to have a chance to live in the city. I don't know, I never got to really know SF, as well as I've known Paris. It'd be nice to be with unique people again though. Walked around the OC yesterday and every girl just looked like the other. Paris can be like that sometimes, but at least some people have their own individual style. Here every girl looks almost the same. I just want to go up to one of them and shake them and say, "Wake up! You can wear what you want!

Finally weighed myself for the first time, and holy crap I'm back to my senior high school weight which is the same weight I came to Paris with. CRAP. I definitely lost weight in Paris, even my parents noticed it when they visited. But I gained in Spain during our trip. I blame the late night paella eating and all the driving. I'm confident I'm going to lose it though--more confident than any of my past weight lost efforts--because even in this heat I have all this unexplainable ADD like energy. I've been cleaning my room non-stop because I just hate having disorder, and I've been working out. I just want to go to my Paris weight.

Oh America

2008-07-05T06:24:00.003-07:00

Got a great big dose of America yesterday, and it was very hard to swallow.

My city is one of the last few where it is legal to buy and set off fireworks. In the morning, Dad drove me around in the newest addition to our family of automobiles, this one a real eye-turner. I don't even know if I'm still supposed to talk about it. Let's just say that Dad pretends he's Steve McQueen when he's driving it and it's named after a snake. Yup. Drove around and saw lots of my redneck citizens buying stuff to blow up.

Oh America.

Went to the supermarket too to buy steaks, and got a big dose of America there too. Dad squeezed his giant tractor of a truck into the cramped parking lot. Short, chubby ladies with tattoos eyeing the steaks. Sunburned men in graying goatees and Corona beer tank tops piling ice into the back of the SUV gas guzzlers. Some guy on his cell phone almost sideswiped my cart and said to the person on the end, "I'm already ready to kill someone in this store." Oh America.

Dinner was amazing: steaks, rice, salad, corn. The basics of a July 4th dinner. It was a really cool day, and too huge of an eye opener to being back. I see the way things are done, and...I just wish it was like France. Like when we were in line at the cashier at the supermarket, I just could see all these plastic bags being used, and I'm not a huge preachy environmentalist, but I still care about the Earth. I brought my Franprix reusable bag to use.

Didn't watch my neighbors blow up their money away, but went straight to bed around 9. Still jetlagged. Today, I meet my best friend from college and we try to figure out where we're going to live in SF for this semester.

2 am again

2008-07-04T02:15:00.002-07:00

2 am in sleeping so cal, but the laptoppy clock computer says otherwise: 11:15am.

Woke up around 1am and it was a bit trippy getting out of my bed now that the carpet in my room is gone and it's all hardwood. It's also kind of weird coming back to my room in my parents' house. First thing I thought was, "Oh my God, I have to get rid of a lot of crap." So lots of cleaning and organizing to look forward to.

Kuya picked us up from the airport. First me then my parents. Took us out to dinner at Lawry's which was DELICIOUS. Had the California cut, why not I'm back. Also was starving since I didn't eat on my 15 hours flight. Rather what I did eat did not stay long in my system (I puked twice, yuck). Our server was a British lady named Mrs. Fetherston (pronoucned "feather-stone"), what a lovely lady she was too. When I heard her name I could only think of Mrs. Featherbottom on Arrested Development.

More details to come on my trip back at a decent hour when I don't feel like a zombie.

2am

2008-07-02T17:22:00.003-07:00

I can't sleep for obvious reasons. While packing I watched Kung Fu Panda and The Big Lebowski. I wrote letters to leave for the next resident and for my landlord. Keisha is so kind and offered to help me take my baggages to the taxi stand. What a sweet girl.

To help me calm the flip down from the bank incident, I re-read the dog-eared pages of Franny and Zooey, pages 201 to 202. I'll probably need to read them again later. It's packed with my carry-on.

I didn't think I'd leave like this. I thought I'd be...less mad. Susie and Melissa came over to hang out, and I even had dinner with Keisha, and I was just totally distracted. I didn't want it to be this way. Mais c'est la vie.

God, I wanted to write something nice. Something good about leaving. Maybe something will come later when this is all done. Will try to sleep at least one hour.

Paris weeps for me

2008-07-02T07:37:00.004-07:00

Definitely one of those semi-crappy Parisian days designed to make me long for America and going home.

It's hot and rainy instead of hot and sunny. The morning was fine--had coffee with my landlord which was lovely. He bonjoured just about every other person that walked by and he knew. He talked about his time as a student and the day he left New York on his study abroad. It was nice.

I guess the only really crappy thing was closing my bank account. I guess my French was shit today, shit enough that the lady, maybe after a few seconds of me trying to comprehend what she was explaining, just got fed up and said she'll explain in English. Which was fine, whatever. All I could hear in my head was the Dude's concise resignation, "Fuck it".

Anyway, I used my card today which I shouldn't have and so it was I guess a big deal since she made it out that I can't get my money from my account until all transactions are verified, and she'll wire it. Fine. Then she went through all these hoops of fire and made calls and then said I could have some of it and wire the rest. She made it like it was some huge undertaking, that I had created a pile of work for her to overcome and do, and then when she finally found a solution, she said, "Do you agree to this? This would be better for me." Fuck lady, yeah whatever suits you, just make sure the fucking money gets here. Then the old bag at the counter kept counting the money she was going to give me as if she was parting with the money from her own wallet.

And the crappy, crappy part was me walking home (please dear reader, just let me whine just a little longer) and feeling like pre-Paris me. Naive, timid (still), never-speaking-up-for-myself, pre-Paris me. I thought I was done with all this confusing, living in Paris stuff, but Paris wins again.

This whole bank thing probably didn't go down as exaggerated as I put it probably--I'm just in a crappy mood on my last day in Paris. But that was enjoyable for me to write and for you to read, I hope. I apologize for the cursing, you usually don't read me like this. Next time I write it will be about happier things, I pray and hope to God.

I'm melting

2008-07-01T16:24:00.002-07:00

Back in sweltering Paris after stopping off at Nevers to see the preserved body of St. Bernadette. Got into Caulfield mode or the "Caulfield Effect" as I'd like to call it. Sometimes I refer to it as that when something vulgar happens in front of kids and I want to protect them or when something is desecrated. Today, this group of tourists that came in on a bus from somewhere walked into the church where her body was held and one guy, and there was a HUGE sign saying not to, started filming and taking photos. I've never felt so violently ill or moved in a sacred place. Honestly, that deep, dark side of me that I never speak or write of publicly usually wanted to take that camera far from that place and all those people and smash it to the ground. You just don't do that type of stuff at a church.

Anyway, drove back into Paris, and it's so hot here! Thought I left the heat in Spain. Bid farewell to Mom and Dad--I will see them back in the States. Bought some wine and brought it over to Micefa, my favorite one that's sweet a bit and good chilled. Then made an appointment to close my account. Felt so disgusting because I was sweating from running all over and the heat, and the guy that helped me was really cute but a bit of a douchebag.

Met Melissa and Susie and Mel's bf Cedric came home and we had dinner together: salad and pizza. Yum! Then we saw In Bruges at my cinema--my last film there! It was not bad. Made me want to see Bruges. Then got drinks to cool ourselves off since the cinema is under construction and there was no air conditioning. Got home pretty late.

I really can't wrap my head around leaving and packing. I almost just want it to happen already so I don't have to think about what I'm missing. But it was a good run, and after visiting so many different cities and countries, I know that there's still more I have to discover and experience. I've always got tired of routines. They were safe and comfortable for a while, but it's good to explore and constantly challenge yourself. I hope that I can accomplish that next year like I did this one.

miracles

2008-06-29T14:33:00.002-07:00

I'm in Lourdes, France where Saint Bernadette had her visions of the Virgin Mary. Mom decided it would be a better trip from Barcelona instead of going to Toulouse, and I totally agree.

It was quite a beautiful experience, something I've never done before in my life, I mean I've never done all this pilgrimage stuff my parents do, so this was pretty cool and interesting just seeing all these believers people in wheelchairs, walking with canes, lots of old people and the disabled coming here to be healed.

I won't go into too much detail--I'll get to it on the day posts--but I will share that this day was probably the best day of this trip or at least my favorite.

analysis

2008-06-26T11:28:00.003-07:00

Mother and Father are on a bus tour of Valencia and will probably get some tasty paella tonight, whilst I opted out and am here in the hotel room posting here. WHY?

That's a damn good question.

I was asking myself why I was having an "okay" time in Spain. I wasn't enjoying it as much as I should be, I felt, and I couldn't understand why exactly for the life of me. I mean, the only thing I loved about it was that it was a cool road trip with the fam, but I didn't have time to really research the places we were visiting, plus I think the stuff just went sour on my part when I left my stupid passport in Paris.

Anyway, I opted out of the bus tour and dinner because I wanted the parentals to have some time alone without my stupid, sad face and hoped that I would be in better spirits when they come back.

I think the reason I'm not enjoying Spain as much as I should be is because I can't stop thinking of Paris. I leave in a week, and I only get one day back in Paris after we get back from Spain, and it doesn't feel like enough. I have too much to do, and it's all going to go by so fast. I had that week or so after school to really enjoy the Mouffetard and everything, but it wasn't enough. I thought it was, but it really wasn't. I'm on the beach along the Mediterrean or walking by the Alhambra, and I can't get packing, dealing with rent, buying some Paris souvenirs for friends off my stupid, effing brain. And I can't effing help it, seriously. And it's horrible. I can't complain. I've had close to a year in Paris, and I'm in freakin' beautiful Spain? I should not be complaining. Not about more time in Paris, not about Spain. Ugh...I really don't like where I am right now. Not literally of course. Just...my head is a mess.

Valencia

2008-06-26T08:00:00.005-07:00

I'm in Valencia, home of paella and oranges. Can't write much since I've got more important stuffs to do on the interwebs like cancel hotel bookings and find new hotels--ah traveling! Things are going well. It's been really hot, and I've got a nice tan. We've stayed in a variety of places, from regular Holiday Inns to swanky, modern digs to beachside hotels...so pretty cool.

Also, if you didn't read my birthday post, sorry, but I deleted it. I was not in a happy place when I wrote it, and I don't want it up here, so yeah. Count on regular Spain travel posts later on, maybe even after I've left Paris.

I leave Europe forever in a week. I can't believe it! I kind of wished I had more time in Paris, I've only got one day after we get back from Spain, and I have to pack, clean up the studio, and fix up loose ends. Scary. Okay, hasta luego for now!

jet-setter

2008-06-19T13:08:00.003-07:00

So, the Holiday Inn in Bordeaux is pretty sweet. Free wi-fi.

Anyway, felt like a freaking businesswoman traveling round trip from Bordeaux to Paris Charles de Gaulle to get my stupid, freaking passport. Blurg. Dad called me a "jet-setter". He also said, "You fucked up. HAHAHAHAH!!!" yesterday. It sounds like an upsetting thing to hear, but when it comes from him I'm more prone to laugh than to feel guilty. The guilt comes later.

Took Air France for the first time which was really cool--never took it before. Pretty nice. Felt really sick though (nerves and stress, I guess) and threw up but was very low key about it. Yeah, me, a self-proclaimed world traveler threw up on an hour flight from Bordeaux to Paris. That's like SF to LAX which I did at least three times a year my freshman and sophomore year of school. Weird. I think it was more stress sick though.

Had a really, really good dinner just now with the parentals and we finished a bottle of wine. Lovely. I like seeing them enjoy this, like enjoying their retirement. They ordered dessert too. Seeing my parents laughing and telling stories and enjoying themselves makes me so freaking happy. They like talking about the Lakers, it's hilarious. Too bad they didn't make it. Dad taped all the games on DVR while they're away.

Got to drive our Citroen C4 Picasso for 2 hours yesterday which was pretty cool. Sped throughout the countryside. Beautiful. I've got my driving sense back. Funny thing though. I took over at a gas station, and I couldn't find the exit onto the highway and a truck driver on his break was making big gestures and pointed me to it and then I waved to him. It was cool. I love non-verbal communication.

Tomorrow, onto Madrid. Adios!

SARCASM EXPLOSION

2008-06-18T14:58:00.005-07:00

NOTE! CAUTION!: I will curse repeatedly throughout this effing post starting right, effing, NOW:

No...I won't curse. But I just did the most effing amazing thing in my life, in front of my parents...I FORGOT MY PASSPORT IN PARIS. Yup. Yeah. Daughter of the year.

And I just remembered it in effing Bordeaux. So close to the Spanish border. I'm flying back to get it tomorrow and then flying back to Bordeaux same day while Mother and Father sip Bordeaux and the famed cognac from the region over and discuss how wonderful their daughter is. They would rather I fly back than risk not being able to cross the border into Spain.

Thank GOD they got a really good laugh at it. They weren't majorly upset, or at least they didn't show signs of it. They were disappointed, yeah, for sure, but Dad laughed his ass off and will probably bring this up for years to come.

lunch at d'orsay and another adventure

2008-06-17T10:25:00.012-07:00

Today, took my parents to my favorite Musée D'Orsay. First they came to my place to use the interwebs and read up on the Lakers. Both Mom and Dad are die-hard Lakers fans. "I've got all the games programmed to record on DVR while we're gone," Dad said.

When we got there, we started at the top, at Impressionism. It was crowded, but still nice to see these paintings before I leave. Dad talked about Burt Lancaster in The Train and how his character is supposed to stop a train from transporting French art into Nazi Germany. I love how stuff reminds Dad of movies. I've never seen this film, but I'm making a list of films to watch with Dad when I get home. Yummy, long French lunch there too. My first time. Mom and Dad did a tour last night and their tour guide said that the restaurant on the second floor was good and not too crowded. The ambience was amazing, like dining inside a palace. The service was excellent as well. Showed off my French skills once again for my parents as I ordered for them, and the waiter didn't change into English, and he said, "Très bien, Mademoiselle." And that made me feel very, very good, and it made me look very, very good in front of my parents. The first time I ordered sandwiches for them on the street at Notre Dame, Dad said very loudly and proudly, "THAT'S MY GIRL!" And then I shushed him and smiled. Mom was impressed with the food, but Dad was nonchalant. Dad is simple though: a $2.50 burrito at a hole in the wall that only has 3 tables in LA appeals more to my Dad's palette than filet de poisson et ratatouille. Yay I finally had ratatouille! He said it "wasn't bad" and then qualified it by saying, "You know, the English never say something is 'very good'. They say it's 'not bad'." Okay, Dad.I don't know when it started, probably when I left for college, but Mom and I can have these grown-up conversations and it feel likes an out of body experience of sorts for me because in a lot of ways I feel like a kid, very young at heart, but in these convos, I feel so grown up. During dessert (profiteroles à la D'Orsay!) Mom complained about a few things going on at home while Dad enjoyed his coffee and would butt in occasionally to say something smart-alecky.Mom then told me a very good story (both of my parents are very good storytellers) about something that happened while they were in line to get into the museum, and I was already inside getting their tickets (with my museum carte I can skip the lines). Anyway, Mom told me that a lady who had gotten ice cream was ducking underneath the line dividers to get to her group who was ahead of them. As she got up, both flavors of her ice cream smeared onto another lady's jacket ("Vanilla and a sorbet", Mom said) and then, "SHE DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING!!" Mom laughed. "I almost tapped her," Mom said, referring to smeared jacket lady. "Can you imagine? That lady taking off her jacket and seeing the stain? 'What is this?'!" And then Mom does this thing where she makes a funny face; smiles and laughs; and then claps once right in front of her. A lot of her funny stories end like that. Oh Mom. I can't stop smiling as I write this.

After lunch, more art. I mostly people watched. Lots of Americans. I've never really noticed how big and lazy we are. Seriously. I'm no model, but at least I don't complain walking up three flights of stairs. I guess I'm used to it, but even back in SF, I'd walk 5 flights up the Humanities building to get to class. I watched a group of young girls today staring at the flight of stairs to get to the second floor, and they looked around and said, "Where's the elevator?" The elevator was behind me, but I didn't say anything. Their teacher had to make them walk it. And these were healthy looking girls. I was really perturbed.

Bought myself a museum guide book to take home and then we headed back to my place. I started to pack a little for Spain and home while my parents rested. Lucia gave me her sleeping bag to take back since she didn't have space and I said I could take it back. Only it was way bigger than I imagined. I unrolled it, thinking I can make it smaller, but with no success. Even Mom said, "Don't do it, Elaine. You won't make it better." She was right; it was laughably bigger.

Dad woke from his nap and noticed it and was like, "AAAHH!! WHAT DID YOU DO?!" And he was laughing so hard how I made the sleeping bag bigger than it originally was. He then set out to fix it. We have it so good--Dad can fix almost anything. Our cars, the air conditioner...hell, he is currently installing the wood floors at our house by himself ("I finished your room," he said a couple days ago). So he fixed it.I've packed 2 bags, ready for the Americas, and one backpack for Spain, and my studio still looks the same. It's going to be hectic for the next couple of weeks, I'll definitely update when I get the chance.

reflection time

2008-06-16T13:38:00.005-07:00

Mom and Dad went to the Louvre leaving me to do what I gotta do. Packed up one suitcase that they brought with them and will check-in for me. It was weird, my entire school year--all the papers I received, my notebooks, my tests--they all fit in there along with some other books, souvenirs, and winter stuffs. Started packing for Spain too.

Packing, leaving, turning 22 in a week...this is all too much, it kind of all makes me want to throw up. Is this normal?

Walked around the neighborhood to clear my head/get money at the ATM. Mostly everything was closed, boarded up. It's Monday. The cute patisserie that my landlord took me to when I moved in is now a smoothie place. The flower store with the old guy and round glasses retired, there's a pizza place there now. And the grec sandwich place where they had student discount is now a Subway. So much has changed in a year, but a lot of it is the same. I think I'm kind of the same way.

A big shout out to Elaine from Elaine Travels. Elaine contacted me and we have a lot in common other than our prenoms. Check out her blog, it features a lot of cool restaurants that I can't wait to try out when I'm back in LA.

my last Sunday

2008-06-15T13:45:00.007-07:00

Mom and Dad experienced a Mouffetard Sunday today, and they thoroughly enjoyed it. We went to Mass together at the church across the street. Did some translation for Mom and told her what to say when giving peace. One of the priests came down and gave me peace. And we were sitting in the last row! That has never happened before, even in the States. It felt really fitting and special to be there for Mass, my last French mass probably. I was zoning in and out during homily, comme d'hab (as usual), but the priest kept repeating "nation des saints" (nation of saints), and that got to me. My religion teacher once told us girls (I went to a Catholic all-girl's school) that we all can become saints, and I thought saint Elaine had a nice ring to it.

I thanked God for such an amazing year and for all my blessings and for what I've been able to experience. And tears came while in prayer as I thought, how am I going to re-pay this? How am I going to give this all back?

Mom and Dad ate at my place, and we listened and watched from my window my landlord singing and the couples dancing. Dad says I live in some fairy tale, haha. Afterwards, we headed to the Arc de Triomphe and then the Eiffel Tower. Mom went up by herself because Dad didn't want to and she said I could stay with Dad since I've already been up it twice. Dad and I people watched, he told me about the automatic weapons the soldiers were carrying and pointed out the ranking officer for me. He criticized some girl because she threw away the skin of the banana and ate it like that instead of holding the stem with it: "She's eating that banana wrong." And then he kept telling me about the film The Day of the Jackal which I haven't seen and takes place in Paris. That is so Dad.

We got Chinese food and then they headed home since they were tired. Tomorrow, they hit the Louvre, and I'm staying home to get stuffs done like laundry and packing for Spain.

oh, mother

2008-06-14T15:39:00.004-07:00

I explained to Mom that it's polite to say "Bonjour" to people when you enter a restaurant/store/whatever. Mom pronounces it "bomb-jew".

Oh. Gawd.

Hilariousness, but I told her that I'll do the talking. It's her accent, sometimes it's hard for her to say certain words the way they should be said. I even did a little French lesson on our boat tour, but no success. Dad's is better.

Notre Dame, Latin quarter, and a sweet little boat tour. Not bad. They want to take it easy. They've been on too many of those travel group tours where they rush to see everything. We let Dad nap in the garden behind Notre Dame while we bought souvenirs. While having coffee, Mom brought up Louis Vuitton and convinced herself that she's been working very hard and how it would be nice to "treat" herself. Oh lovely. Dad rebuked, "Working hard? You work one day a week!" Mom's retired but has a part-time job where she works with her friends in a lab one day a week. How awesome is that? Looking at blood slides with your friends and getting paid for it. That's what I want, to love my job, to be able to work with people I can consider friends.

Packed one suitcase that my parents brought and will use as one of their check-in luggages. This is weird.

Meet the Parents

2008-06-13T07:53:00.004-07:00

My parents have arrived. No gushy ceremony at the airport, it was just like old times. While in the taxi to their hotel, Dad saw a road sign for Nantes and mentioned the Count of Monte Cristo. The driver's ears perked up and then Dad said, "By Alexandre Dumbass."

The driver said nothing.

My father, ladies and gentlemen. Dad's a huge movie quoter, hope you know that one.

Helped them check-in and then we had lunch at my place then took them back to their hotel to rest. Mom loves the area, and we went to the market together to buy cherries and apricots. There's yet another film crew filming again and we got to check that out. Lovely, lovely. Tomorrow: sightseeing.

bikenight

2008-06-12T04:01:00.004-07:00

The hard reality of leaving hit me last night.Small get together for Lucia and Kathy leaving. Good food, good people, and my small studio. Lots of wine and beer consumed and then...bikes.

I feel safer nightbiking here since there's less cars. Me, Lucia, Kathy, Susie, and Susie's bf Andy, and Melissa got Velibs and biked to St. Michel (then said bye to Melissa), then Notre Dame, then along the Seine ending at the Louvre. Beautiful at night. Stood around taking pics and talking by the main pyramid until the guard told us to leave around 1 am. We split ways there, knowing full well that we might not see each other until we get back to SF. But it felt like any other goodbye but with a little bit of sadness to it. Lucia and I biked up rue Monge then turned to my street. I've always wanted to bike down my street at night.

After returning the bikes, Lucia and I parted ways saying, "See you in LA." It felt so weird to say that. See you in LA. Do I really have to go "home"? Is this really happening?

I've been spending my days writing in cafés and people watching, enjoying my quartier which has been a cinematic dream to live in, everything I have ever wanted and more. I don't think anything will ever top this. And yet I want to believe that I could have it this good again.

Tomorrow morning, I see my parents.

what I learned on the Italy voyage

2008-06-11T00:30:00.000-07:00

I wrote this a while ago in my journal...

I just loved traveling with these girls. As much as we love being American, we certainly didn't fit that American stereotype that foreigners hold against us: loud, obnoxious, and sticking out like a sore thumb. Something that we call, "Ugly American". There's actually a book out with that name.

And, by nature, we're not really loud people. So it was nice just being in silent awe of what we saw and not making a scene.

The really hard thing about traveling is that you want to see the "best of" but, as I have learned, I also want to enjoy the moment and relax and take in this beautiful place. I think that's the difference from being a traveler and being a tourist.

To do to make this all possible and to keep a balance between both:
1. Plan ahead: If we had of known how long the crazy lines were, I would have made reservations for the Uffizzi. Instead we lost almost 3 hours standing in line

2. Make a conscious decision: This might be harder for some people, but I want to see a city more than once. I'm not one of those checklist people. I try to make a conscious decision to come back for another visit. You can't know a city in a weekend. There's just too much. I've been in Paris for almost a year and I still don't truly know some parts of it. I want a reason to come back though and explore more which takes me to my next point.

3. Explore: Traveling is about exploring, making the best out of your time in a beautiful place. Learning comes from experience, and experience comes from trying something new.

Also, I learned other things...

1. Have money: Take care of money problems and letting your bank know you're abroad. It sucks that this had to happen to Keisha.
2. There are amazing boys everywhere. Who cares if English is their second language.
3. I don't have to spend time in a museum to enjoy a city, and it's not the end of the world if I don't see some famous work of art.

Yesterday was pretty sweet. Went to the catacombs again this time with Melissa, Kathy, and M's friend Myra. Then lunch at an Italian restaurant. I got the fish and it was so good. Later decided to go to the Saint Medard to write a bit, and Lucia wanted to join, so we sat there with demi-citrons, our legs getting a tan since we were both wearing dresses. We talked, people watched, I wrote for a while and Lucia drew. It was nice. I saw a girl with a brown bike that I absolutely adored, and it made me miss my bike at home. A nice, laidback day.

the full, cinematic circle

2008-06-09T02:44:00.007-07:00

UPDATED!: I added photos.They filmed on my street today. This time 1920s Paris I'm guessing, or at least late 19th-20th century Paris. Men in suits and hats; ladies in dresses, heels and their hair did. An old-timey wine truck was parked in front of my building. They put a facade over the Franprix and old shop signs are hanging in front of other stores. Down below, extras are sitting in the shade and smoking cigarettes. Absolute film loveliness. Went to do laundry and found them setting-up. The production assistant in front of my building was cute, almost stopped me but when I explained that I lived in this building he smiled and was cool.

I get so effing excited on film sets, you would not believe. I haven't been on one in the longest time, so I almost forgot what it felt like to be a part of the magic. Being on part of the set on my street brought me back to all those amazing times I've spent making films and helping my friends make their films. And I love how, in my first days moving in here I got to be a part of a film, and now, at the end of my days, another film is being created nearby. A full, cinematic circle.

Haha, omg, they're scrambling to get this shot with the noon church bells ringing and there's a buttload of people wanting to go up the street. Sorry, I'm writing this as it's happening. I'm going to go down and see what they're up to...

MUCH LATER

Okay. I found out the name of the film: Julie and Julia. A NORA EPHRON film!!! So cool. Sleepless in Seattle is one of my favorite romcoms. I looked up the cast in imdb--pretty huge. I didn't see Meryl Streep or Amy Adams walking around though. Maybe they're not in these scenes.

I'll post my amazing photos later. Anyway, it was really sweet to be surrounded by all the props and fake store fronts. To see crew waiting around with their walkie talkies and drinking water. It just brings a lot of memories for me. This could not have come at a better time. I haven't written about it much, at least not here, but I've been really struggling with this film path and constantly asking myself if I'm willing to go through this "life of pain and struggle" as my Cinema 202 professor once called it. "And when it's good," he said, "It's brief." He could not have put it in better words.

Life's funny. A couple days ago I was debating to myself, saying to myself, "I need something, I need to know for sure that I'm doing the right thing, that it's all going to be okay", and today God and the universe set up early 20th century Paris right outside my door. A successful female writer/director up the street. If that's not a sign, then I don't know what is. Signs don't get any better than that.

the mouffe'

2008-06-08T12:04:00.000-07:00

I spent most of Saturday in my quartier or in my studio writing at my window seat with the windows wide open. It was really special since there was a brocante, or second-hand stuff/antique sale, going on outside in my quartier. Streets lined with people trying to sell their awesome antiques as well as their un-sellable (I know that's not a word) crap. I saw a lot of cool furniture, but nothing small that was cool. I was looking for something for Kuya's girl Kathy. This little girl wanted a stone sculpture of a rabbit. The kind of sculpture you'd put in your garden, but her Mom said no. The little girl replied, "Mais pourquoi? C'est mignon!" (But why? It's cute!)

Also saw a boy, around my age, admiring a wooden standing valet. Those old-timey free standing suit hangers that holds the pants and the suit jacket as well as a tray for stuffs. Just seeing him inspect it and think about buying it filled me with joy.

Today I spent even more time at the brocante. Yesterday was a run-through while today was a more detailed look. Met Lucia and Keisha by the fountain and we went around to all the vendors. Helped Keisha decide to get two leather belts and a snakeskin portfolio. Yesterday, Lucia bought a set of cups and saucers. I myself was looking for cups and saucers.Keisha found an incredible automatic Mont Blanc watch. Keisha knows her watches since she specialized in them at Louis Vuitton. The face was huge and unscratched since it was double crystal or something like that. All I remember her saying was that nothing would scratch it except for diamond. The guy wanted 150 euros, but we walked away.Then, at another vendor, Lucia found another set of cups and saucers that were made in the south of France. They were really amazing. Man, if I had seen them first, I would have got them, but c'est la vie. She saw them. It's like that unspoken rule of not dating a guy that your friend liked first. I think the vendor could tell that I liked them too because he said I looked "mignonne" (cute) when I saw them. They just really made me smile. I would have bought them if Lucia didn't. And she already bought cups and saucers!!! Dang. Maybe more luck at the Marche Aux Puces.

Went through the whole brocante. Keisha kept debating about the watch. We had a most delicious lunch at Cave La Bourgogne, a restaurant right in the square. My landlord told me it was really good when I moved in, but I've never had the chance to eat there. I am so glad I did though. Got the plat du jour, steak with a bordelaise sauce and vegetables. House wine as usual. It was DELICIOUS and not expensive for the portions (14.80 euros). I was so glad that I brought my appetite since I only had fruit and tea for breakfast. We sat on the terrace, inside-outside. Since the streets are closed off for the brocante, my landlord was playing his music by the fountain. Across the street, we saw a man propose to a girl at the Café Le Saint Médard. We caught the tail end of it, everyone clapping and the couple kissing.Ordered dessert and café. Lucia wanted flan, but the waiter didn't understand so I explained, "C'est comme crème brulée, mais c'est pas brulée." (It's like burnt cream, but not burnt." He laughed, saying to himself in French "That's good! That's good! Not burnt! Haahahah". It made me so happy to make this guy smile just because he seemed like he was in a nasty mood since it was so busy. It put him in good spirits. He said that it was called crème caramel. And I got a crème brulée.An older couple took a photo of us, and the husband correctly guessed that we were Californian students. How funny. He also said that he liked my earrings and did I get them in Santiago? How weird. Keisha was still debating the watch, so we went back again, and she got to negotiate the watch down to 90 euros. I was so happy for her and her big faced masculine automatic Mont Blanc watch. I liked that the back was clear, and you can see the mechanism at work.

During lunch, Keisha had asked me what I was going to miss the most about Paris. I didn't even have to think about it: my quartier. None of my previous living situations would come close to this neighborhood, this experience. And will I ever have it this good again? It's really hard to say. In the quiet words of Toby Flenderson: "I'm gonna chase that feeling." Sorry, obscure "The Office" quote. But it really sums up my sentiments.

Venezia: Day 15. The end of the journey.

2008-06-07T03:28:00.000-07:00

Venezia: Day 15

Our last day. We checked out of our lovely hostel and bid farewell to the Ponte di Rialto. Took a metro boat back to the train station to store our luggage. Our flight wasn't until 20H, so we had a lot of time still in Venice. We inquired about how to get to the Marco Polo airport since we had no clue. The only thing about buying cheap tickets like Ryan Air is that they fly to smaller airports that are more complicated to get to. We found that there are buses from Venice that go there so we got tickets to that. Again, nothing was set or planned in advance, we just rolled with it.Walked around aimlessly until we got hungry for lunch. Sat down at an outdoor restaurant in front of the church of Santa Lucia--Lucia got a kick out of that. For 15 euros, we got a pasta, and entree, and either dessert or coffee. I got lasagne, roasted chicken and fries, and coffee. It was pretty tasty, the portions small but filling.

Tried to go inside the church but it was closer. Bummer. In the building adjacent there were old chairs and other furniture set up in front of a door. Keisha said that it looked like a church yard sale, and she was right. We entered a musty room filled with clothes, books, purses, and all the regular stuff you see at yard sales. It was pretty sweet. Both Keisha and I love this stuff. I remember going around to garage sales with my Dad and brother. Sometimes, this is just too hilarious, Dad would just talk to the guy holding the garage sale forever. Just his thoughts concerning some old lawnmower on sale or whatever. Dad loves to talk, it's too funny.

I found a silk-like Paris scarf that I really liked. I'm wearing it right now as I type, actually. It's better made than the ones I've seen in Paris. Also found an old French book for children learning French. I was attracted to the old-timey drawings inside. The book has a stamp from the bookstore it was in. Some bookstore in Milano. There was also an old birthday card inside, probably to the owner of the book. And then, by the kitchenware, I saw the most beautiful cyan-colored dish. It just popped out to me. I weighed the pros and cons of getting said dish, but it was one of those treasures I could not walk away from. The photo features just the top.I took the three items to the sweet old lady sitting by the door with a cashbox. She didn't speak any English, but made gestures with her fingers. "Three euros," she said in Italian, and put 3 fingers up. 1 euro each for everything I bought. I happily paid her, and she wrapped my dish in newspaper. Lucia and Keisha also got scarves, but the wool kind.
What an awesome find. I love doing local stuff. It was just like going to Seamus Ryan's in London or looking through that keyhole in Roma. We walked around some more and finally just stopped at a canal to people watch and write postcards. When we got tired of the scenery, we found another canal to people watch at. Had our last gelatos and then found a post office where we could mail our cards. It was finally time to catch our bus.Boarded the bus, exhausted and happy. We didn't really have much to say to each other. We were deep in our own thoughts about this wonderful Italian journey.

Finally felt at home, or at least in Parisian territory when we were told that our flight would be delayed. And instead of lining up like orderly, civilized people, all the French people just crowded around the gate pushing and shoving to get on the plane once it got here. It was insanity. We lucked out and got good seats in the front of the plane so we got to be the first people out of that bordel.

During the flight, we reminisced and thought about our next great, big adventure. Arrived at Beauvais where Adriano picked us up. Slept the hour drive into Paris. We were home.

c'est drôle la vie

2008-06-06T14:30:00.006-07:00

Last day of class. Pour plaisir, Prof. Poisson-Quinton showed Jean-Pierre Jeunet's Amélie. It was a really nice way to end the semester, my school year in Paris. This was the movie that turned me to picking up French and pushed me toward a path in filmmaking. I wouldn't be here today without it. I've seen it countless times with and without subtitles, but it was nice to see it again (and I haven't seen it in a while) and in the context of living here for a year.

Amélie's first deed was for Mr. Bretodeau who apparently lives on my street. I had no idea. I knew that they filmed the bar scene up the street because I've been there, but when I saw the familiar shops and the square in front of the church, when I saw Mr. Bretodeau descend Mouffetard right by the Franprix and my butcher...I knew. The phone booth's not there anymore, and neither is Octave. Here's the whole scene and you can get a taste of what my neighborhood is like if my descriptions and photos aren't enough.
It was really nice surprise to see this. It made me so unbearably happy. God, I've felt so lucky every time I get to walk home and walk down this street and do my shopping on Sunday mornings, and it always felt cinematic to me. Then again, a lot of things are cinematic to me because that's how I view life. Anyway, God, for some reason, meant for me to have cinema and French in my life in one way or another. I mean, one day in SF, I had a French class, then Jean-Pierre Jeunet came to show his 35mm print of City of Lost Children at our theatre, and I also got to meet him and get his autograph. French and Cinema just go together for me like crêpes and nutella. I don't know why exactly, but this combo had to happen because it might mean something for me in the future and it definitely meant something to me in my past lives. God, does that make any sense? It's a little late, that's why I sound so crazy. I just feel like I get signs all the time.

Went to the Louvre since it's free Friday nights for 18 to 26 year olds, and it's probably the last time I'll go there if I don't go with my parents if they even want to go. Kind of makes me sad, but then again, the Louvre is huge and two hours of artifacts is more than enough.

au revoir les enfants

2008-06-05T14:07:00.003-07:00

Last week of school. History of Paris was neat since only Melissa, Lucia, Kathy, me, and another girl we lovingly refer to as "pink pants" (because she often wears pink jeans) showed up. Everyone else has probably already left the country or just didn't care. Prof. Comerre let us choose which quartier we wanted to learn more about and we chose the Bercy area since it's a more modern side of Paris.

I got my dossier back and received an "A+". Yay me! Walked through a lot of cold, modern buildings, very stark and minimalist. From the passerelle (footbridge) she pointed to her apartment building and the spire of her church. Lovely. Crossed the passerelle and into the park nearby the Cinemathèque Française. Walked through a maze with Prof. as well. It's really nice being in a small group with a teacher. I think she lets her guard down more and it's easier to talk to her. In the end, we bid farewell, and she said she's going to go eat a crêpe. Had the usual tasty History lunch and café study time with the girls.

Today I had my last grammar and lit class. Actually lit class didn't even happen so my last lit class was 2 weeks ago since the prof didn't show up last week either. A wonderful school system, right? My grammar prof, who is also my cinema prof, was seeing students individually to go over the test with her. Scary. Walked in and found that I got a 12, which is not bad, like a B. Super relieved. We went over my test and she asked me my reasoning behind certain questions. She didn't grill me or anything, she was really great, and I had nothing to be scared about. I'm getting a 13 (B) in the class. Awesome. Sincerely, Prof. Poisson-Quinton is probably the best French as a foreign language prof at St. Denis.

After, Susie and I headed to the Samaritaine's 5th floor café. We were the only people there. From there, the city looks so peaceful. I got tea and wrote in my journal, and Susie got a tuna wrap and studied for her Lit final. We got a nice table overlooking Rue de Rivoli and facing the C&A and H&M. I thought about how after Friday, I would be free. Summer.

phone call

2008-06-04T15:19:00.000-07:00

Usually I'm not a huge fan of phone conversation, but it's the only way for me to communicate rapidly with my parents. Back in the States, I try to make phone calls short and sweet or just tell people I'll meet them somewhere to speak in person if possible. Thing is I get so distracted on phone calls that I'm not listening to the person. Instead I'm on the interwebs or looking at a magazine or other things. Not good and not so anymore.

So Mom called last night, and I have my phone set up on this stool and a director's chair by the stool. The phone has a cord, so I answer the phone and sit down in my comfy chair. I'm far from distraction. Also it's nice to hear Mom's lovely voice and her "Huh?"s and "What?"s from across the globe. Suddenly, I'm in love with talking on the phone. Maybe because it's Mom and I'm excited to see her and Dad next week, but I'm also thinking it's this set-up. A corded phone and a comfy chair and nothing else. Wes Anderson had it right. This is how I'm having my house phone set up.Don't know about all the children though.

Talked to Dad who is uber-excited about driving to Spain. He got a Daimler Benz since it's the only automatic available here, and he wants to be able to take turns driving. I can't drive stick. Dad doesn't really care for guided tours and he said he likes "going off the beaten path like Quiller"--Dad's favorite litery spy. Oh, Dad. Dad also said, "I bet you're happy and sad at the same time about leaving. But this is a good experience for you." He knows all too well about being abroad. He was stationed in Spain during his Navy years.

Talked to Mom and she mentioned celebrating my birthday, but I really don't like celebrating my birthday so I turned down the offer. I don't want to be old. I also don't care for surprise birthdays either, and I've had 2 already. That feels like a lot for my age. Also discussed grown-up things like money.

is this the last time?

2008-06-03T12:07:00.000-07:00

A wonderful 5th arrondisement day.Had brunch with Lucia right outside at La Salle à Manger. I've passed this place a million times and have never eaten there. We got Le Vitaminé which includes sliced bread, rolls, a croissant and a pain au chocolat, choice of café, chocolat or café au lait, and an orange juice. All the breads come with 5 glass jars containing honey, marmalade, peanut butter, raspberry jam, and vanilla spread. Quite the breakfast. We both got chocolats and it was really good, not as rich as Angelina's, but still tasty. We sipped it in bowls.

When we were done we stood outside at the bottom of the street talking about the weather when I see my landlord coming towards me, all smiles. He greets us and asks if I can write a letter to the next tenant about my impressions of where I lived and what I liked about the quartier. I guess he found someone to stay at my place. I happily said yes.

Afterwards, since Lucia's leaving on next Thursday, we did some souvenir shopping at St. Michel. I got stuff for my neighbors and family too. Walked also to Gibert Jeune so that Lucia can get a Lamy fountain pen for her friend. She told me that her friend like the color "mustard yellow", and I suggested the Lamy Safari since it comes in yellow. She's also bought other Lamys for friends. It's a really great fountain pen. Sleek and modern, and not too heavy that your hand fatigues when you write. I should seriously be sponsored by them. Anyway, headed over to Café Panis and sat in comfy leather chairs. Lucia planned her to-do list for the week, and I made some plans for myself. I want to be "done" with things by next Friday when my parents come so that I can spend time with them when they're here. Added books to read on my summer reading list and souvenirs to buy for family and friends. We stayed there for at least 2 hours just talking, writing and planning, people watching and listening in on tourists' conversations.Walked across the street to Shakespeare and Co. and found a used book that was on my summer reading list for cheap (Arthurian Romances by Chretien de Troyes). Yay! Also bumped into Melissa and Alan. Then Alan bumped into his Dutch friend David and his three friends. Small world. They met up with us later at Shywawa where we were celebrating Kathy having finished an 11 page paper. Susie, Taylor, and Taylor's friend Jeremy came too. We played Melissa's mind games that were sort of frustrating ("In my world, there's beer, but no wine. There's Holland, but no Sweden. What else is in my world?") and just about killed ourselves over Lucia's FBI scenario question. It was nice, this long table of people and beers, different conversations and games going on, having to lean closer to people you just met asking, "What? What'd you say?" It was lovely...

This was a really lovely day despite the overcast weather, the fact that Lucia's leaving in a week, that I'm leaving in a month, and despite that in a small corner of my mind I have the departure and the packing and the last of this and that and everything connected with saying goodbye crouched in that corner waiting to spring and tear me away from what's been my city, my home for a year. Every time I walk into a café or eat a certain French dish I think, "Is this the last time?" And yet I don't feel any regret or a rush to do things. I am at peace. I've seen what I wanted to see. There are more places I'd like to visit, but if I don't get to them, then all the more reason to come back to Paris, my home for a year.

why I love where I live

2008-06-01T12:00:00.000-07:00

There's a small leak above my kitchen sink, and for some reason I thought my landlord Mr. Bassoul would be mad (there's been a lot of bad landlord things going on among Micefa students) even though it wasn't my fault. I've been really lucky. He came over and made an appointment with a plumber for tomorrow, and he wasn't mad just sorry about the inconvenience. I've been catching the water and using it to water plants and do dishes since it's clean, and he's really happy about that. "I like the way you think!" he said. He really cares about recycling and stuff.

He also gave me the address to his website! If you didn't know already, every Sunday morning from 11H to 14H I can hear him play his accordion and sing songs. He plays right in front of my church and people come to sing along and dance. Check out his website.

Other reasons to love where I live...So my opera singing French neighbor--I kid you not, I hear him practicing during the day with piano accompaniment--was probably super drunk last night since he was singing from his window to the people down below. Don't know if you can see him in the photo in the bottom right.It was beautiful. I think the way our buildings are placed allow for great acoustics. Some woman praised his singing from the street, and he proceeded to drague ("hit on") her from 3 stories above! Oh these French men! They exchanged digits for all to hear. He kept singing all night then ending it with, "Jean-Louis! Celibataire!" ("Single!")

Today was an especially lovely Sunday morning. Sun was out, Mr. Bassoul was playing his accordion, and the marketplace was bright with fresh fruits and vegetables. Called Lucia to see if she was up for free museum Sunday (my last one!). She ended up being at Keisha's, only a couple blocks away. She moved out of her studio and away from her horrible, evil landlady. We met and did some grocery shopping together. I love grocery shopping on Sundays. It's the best here. Got some pitas, hummus, and beer at the Franprix, cantaloupe and watermelon from the vendors. Went back to my place and I made lunch. So tasty. Stuffed pitas filled with hummus, tziki (sp?), salad, carrots, and tomatoes with a side of potatoes and grilled aubergine. Yum! Add that and a bottle of Kronenburg. Then we had the melons that we cut up beforehand for fruit salad and put in the fridge to cool. I put the table closer to the window so we could hear the music. I really like this set-up. Might keep it like this for the rest of my time here. For free museum day we went to the Musée National du Moyen-Age Thermes de Cluny which Lucia and I both wanted to see before leaving. Moyen Age means Middle Ages. I was really excited to see the Lady and the Unicorn tapestries.

Lucia's leaving in less than two weeks. It's already June. I can't believe how fast this all went by. And I'm going to turn 22 on the 23rd. Weird. I feel grown up, but in a lot of ways, I feel like a child.

LISTMANIA
Books I want to read when I get back home:

The Odyssey by Homer and my old copy of Greek myths: Being in Sicily reminded me to brush up on the classics. Whenever at a famous site I was asked if I knew the stories but I said that I read them a while back and couldn't remember them well.
Books on Arthurian legends, Aesop's Complete Fables, and the Brothers Grimm Tales: I need to reconnect with my childhood. They're also just good to read.
On Writing by Stephen King: Because I heard it was deece, and "LOST" referenced it (white bunnies with numbers on their backs).

Places to eat at in LA and SF:

Home. Dad's steak, Mom's pansit and stir-fry vegetables in oyster sauce, WHITE RICE! from a rice cooker...All this eating and sitting outside in the backyard with the smell of barbeque in the air.
Tommy Burger's on Rampart and W. Beverly Blvd. (I'm getting a cheeseburger, chili cheese fries, and a root beer.)
In N Out by my house. (Cheeseburger, animal-style fries, and a strawberry lemonade.)
Lucille's in Brea. Full rack baby back ribs, fries, and coleslaw. I'm salivating already.
That really good ice cream shake place in Eagle Rock that I went to with my brother before leaving but was closed. Why do you close at 10pm on a Friday?!
Taco Nazo for fish tacos.
That burrito place that Dad took me to in LA for a wet burrito and tortilla chips.
Pho Huynh Hiep 3 at Westlake Village in Daly City
Mitchell's for ice cream in SF
bubble milk tea at Lollicup

Venezia: Day 14

2008-05-30T10:56:00.000-07:00

Venezia: Day 14

Woke up late-ish. Traveling from city to city can do that to you, especially by Day 14 of our little trip. We didn't have much planned to see, no museums we were dying to wait in line for. Today was a really easy going day. Took the metro boat to the famous Piazza San Marco and had lunch at a lovely restaurant off the square where we were served by the Venetian Steve Buscemi. He really had his face. And he was super sweet and had a thing for Lucia. See, Lucia got this dish, and for some reason she wanted sliced tomatoes, so she asked him if he could arrange that for her, and he was really nice about it and said yes. He comes back and places by her plate a bowl of TOMATO SAUCE and walked away. We all stared at each other smiling. Keisha said, "Maybe he heard 'sauce' instead of 'sliced'?" Laughable. Afterwards, Keisha and I ordered an espresso as our digestif and Lucia didn't order anything, but Seniore Buscemi came by and put down a shot of limoncello in front of her. She turned, as if to say he was mistaken, but he only winked at her and smiled. Lucia has a Venetian boyfriend! We joked all day about it.We walked by the boat docking areas and sat there and had gelato and then we perused the many souvenir carts for Venetian masks. Keisha is planning a masquerade party for her birthday next year, and she wanted all of us to get masks. I got a simple white one that covered my eye area, Lucia one with feathers, and Keisha's was huge and goldish, and perfect for her since it's for her birthday masquerade.Walked some more along the canals with no real purpose. We did want to take a gondola ride though, so we talked to a guy who wanted 80 euros for the three of us for 30 minutes. No way. Keisha said that we'll be back because we need to find an ATM. We then got it down to 20 euros each and the guy said we'll stop by an ATM in the middle of the gondola ride, haha. Sweetness.

The gondola ride was pretty sweet. What I liked was that it was solemn and quiet. We didn't really go through touristy places or bump into other gondolas. Going along the canals was just so unreal. It felt like a Disneyland ride, almost, but way better. Because this wasn't a set, this was real. People lived here. When I was a kid, I wanted to live in New Orleans Square at Disneyland.

We stopped and our gondola guy told Keisha that the ATM was across the square. He spoke a little English. We docked right next to another Gondola guy that kind of looked like a young Jack Nicholson. He was funny and posed in some photos with us while smoking on his cigarette.
For dinner, took the metro boat to another part of Venice, the less touristy part. Got off at Accademia, and tried to look for this wine bar that I read about, but no luck. We went to a restaurant that faced the ocean and had some seafood instead. Real tasty. Then got some gelato and waited for the boat to take us home.It was still light out, but we were pretty tired. We took the long way back home though on the boat going through the shipping yards and passing the train station. The girls stayed inside the boat while I stood on the starboard side watching boats pass and the lovely scenery. I can't remember everything I was feeling at that moment, but I was definitely happy to be on this trip with good people and still have time to myself. You know you've found good people to be with when they let you be who you are and understand where you're coming from. I've never had to explain myself to them or be pressured to do stuff that I didn't feel like doing. And it's like they instinctively knew that I like my time alone. God, these girls are amazing.

I thought about friends back home with boyfriends, friends with kids, and girls I graduated with that are about to get married. I'm all happy for them, and I want the best for them. But I felt odd for not sharing what they wanted or at least being in the same situations as theirs. Graduating. In a relationship. Found a job. Moved into a new apartment.

Everything happens for a reason, I guess. If I hadn't made the choices I made, I wouldn't be standing here on this boat watching gondolas float by, feeling the cool salty wind brush my face and sensing that wherever I was, whether it be in San Francisco, Los Angeles, Paris, Rome, or here on this boat, that wherever I was, I was home.

all in all...a good day

2008-05-29T12:35:00.003-07:00

I had a huge grammar test today. It was really long, but I feel like it went well. Morgan finished early and went down to the lunch truck, kind of like those food trucks in LA that sell food outside of construction sites for workers. When I got out of class she told me that the sweet lunch lady asked about me and Susie. Every Thursday I get a tuna baguette there and a bottle of water if I forgot mine. What a nice lady. So that made my day.

The class after my grammar class was canceled so I took my lunch (paid a visit to lunch lady!) and went to Ile St. Louis to eat beside the Seine and write a little. It was overcast out, but still nice. Perused some books at bookstores nearby then went home.

I wonder if couples traveling ever break up after a trip. I was on the bus, and I saw this couple outside, and they were for sure tourists. They just have that look. The girl was cute, dressed nicely. The guy looked a bit douchey--he was wearing a souvenir beret and aviator sunglasses. He had a map out. They looked like they were arguing lightly, and she looked maybe embarrassed to be with him. Just standing far away from him, arms crossed and looking around a lot to see if people are watching. I dunno. Trips should bring people together. Maybe it's over with and they're making out in front of the Eiffel right now.

I did a crapload of drawing today. Like two hours worth, it was really fun. It's almost as good as writing. Almost. The advantage being that it recalls memories faster. Like today, I drew the St. Denis lunch lady. I think drawing allows me to connect with that inner child, it helps me de-stress, I dunno...it's just fun. I don't know why I didn't draw sooner. I just hope that I make time for it when I go home.

understanding in a car crash

2008-05-28T11:39:00.001-07:00

Like the new blog header? I find it hilarious because that sheet of paper is completely blank save for 2 words. It was this paper I was writing for History of Paris.

I'm feeling slightly better now. I'm just trying to get used to my life being a question mark. And that's okay. That's okay. It's going to be okay. I feel like going to batting cages right now, for some reason. I'm a little on edge.

Good day today despite being a little in my own world. Lunch with girls at L'As du Falafel in the Marais, only the best falafel place in Paris probably. Then off to a cafe to study. This time one by Melissa's work. The place was really super cute with lights in the ceiling that look like stars and comfy chairs. Much studying and talking was done. Then Kathy and I went to WH Smith because she needed a guide book for Italy. She's backpacking there by herself. Good for her! After walking around Paris for a while, met up with Melissa a couple hours later for another study cafe session, this time at the Barnum. That's when I had my "car crash" moment.

I must explain with backstory. Junior year of high school I got in a car crash going to class. It wasn't my fault, I was making a protected left turn and an airport van ran the red light and rammed into the right passenger side of my car. I saw it coming, but I was too late at reacting, in fact, I turned left more, like making a U-turn, hoping to avoid the crash, but it didn't happen.

Whenever stuff like this happens, I feel like I need to re-examine my life. Even though my life wasn't in danger and I wasn't hurt, I still felt like there was something wrong, that even at some subconscious level there was something I was overlooking. Yes, it was his fault that he hit me, that he wasn't paying attention, but this had to happen for some other reason. Maybe this happened because I wasn't paying attention to something in my life, not something that had to do with the car crash.

Anyway, another car crash moment, fast forward 5 years later. At Barnum, we got Cokes, and I was absentmindedly crushing my lemon with my spoon inside the glass with the Coke in it while Melissa and Kathy were talking, and I wasn't even paying attention. I was just crushing the lemon with one hand when the glass tips over, and I can see it all happening slowly just like the car crash 5 years before, and Coke spills all over the table. Kathy and Melissa react more quickly than I do, and I just watched it drip onto the floor. There weren't any napkins or anything. Kathy got some and the waiter was super sweet and cleaned it up, and I just sat there thinking, "What am I ignoring? What am I not paying attention to?" Maybe I'm looking too deep into things. They just joked and said I was a klutz. But I figured out what was wrong 5 years ago...Sometimes I think we need a little "car crash" to put things in perspective.

Anyway, if this all sounds too crazy, this episode of "The X-Files" written and directed by Gillian Anderson is all you need to kind of understand what this is like for me. My favorite 7th season episode, "all things".

second thoughts

2008-05-27T01:17:00.004-07:00

Yesterday was a weird day. One of those fall/winter 2007 freakout days where I wondered where my life was going, and if this was what God really intended, and stupid crap like that that gives me an awful headache.

It's a sad and rainy day today. And there's a funeral outside. The bells haven't tolled yet, but the vehicle to carry the deceased is there with it's back door open. There's sunshine somewhere, and that's where I want to be. I'm getting party invitations from friends recently graduated from college and other notices across the interwebs, and it all makes me want to throw the laptoppy across the room.

Yesterday, I tried to figure out my fall class schedule if, worst case scenario, I can't get into any advanced production classes. I actually like the worst case scenario since I don't want to take advanced production classes. They cost loads of money, money that's been already spent here. And that's okay. If I had to choose between Paris for a year and a year of advanced production classes, developed film, camera rentals, and pizza for actors...I choose Paris.

The only really crappy thing is that for worse case scenario, which I will refer to as WCS, the number of units doesn't add up to what I need. Meaning...it's possible that I won't graduate by next year. Maybe I'm making this worse than it really is, I'm just digging a bigger hole, why not, I'm already down here. Dig, dig, dig.

The good thing, the one, bright and hopeful star in this dark universe is that I haven't counted the cinema units I earned right here in Paris. I left that out, as part of the WCS. So there are 6 shiny star units off in the distance, just waiting to be counted.

God, this isn't supposed to be happening now. I already had my great big freakout last year, this shouldn't be a yearly thing. If anything, my great big freakout should be scheduled for this time NEXT year, you know, right in the middle of graduation, if that even happens.

And that's just the one problem I'm having. While at the laundromat watching my bedsheets spin in the dryer, I had my doubts about cinema. Just why, why, why, am I in love with something so unstable. Why can't I be a normal Filipino girl and do nursing or law. Why can't I be comfortable at home instead of being antsy and wanting to see the world. I spinned the whole thing around and then asked myself, why isn't anyone like me? Like us (Paris people, I'm talking to you)? Acting out on their true desires. I know far too many people who don't belong in the nursing field because their true ego lies in writing for people or designing clothes for them, and not administering their pain medication. But they do it anyway, they do it anyway.

This world is so crazy. Where's my Tylenol?

Firenze and Venezia: Day 13

2008-05-26T05:12:00.001-07:00

Day 13
Woke up early to go to the Accademia for our scheduled visit to see the famous David. We checked out of our hostel since we're supposed to leave by 10:30am, but left our baggage in the office.

The David was really, really huge. Not allowed to take photos though. Grabbed a postcard on the way out. Also saw more religious paintings. By now, I'm kind of burnt out from all the art. There's just too much to see.

After the museum, we grabbed a cappuccino for breakfast then headed back to the Leather School. Lovely, lovely, they remembered us. Keisha was checking out the purses, Lucia the wallets, and I got my wallet monogrammed. It was so cool, just standing by the craftsman as he selected gold leaf papers, and fitted my initials into the stamp. He showed me the "E.G.F." and asked for my approval. I nodded and said, "Si."He stamped it, showed me the stamp and awaited my approval again, and then put the wallet back in its wrapping. Peeked in on Keisha as she tried out a green leather over-the-shoulder handbag. Absolutely gorgeous. I joined Lucia as we both looked presents for our family to get monogrammed. I chose things for Mom, Dad, and Kuya, and got them monogrammed. Then Keisha's salesman came over to give me storage bags for the presents. Awesome! When we were about to leave, the main guy who helped us asked, "How did you find us?" I mentioned my Lonely Planet guide. He smiled and said, "Come back again" before saying goodbye. As we left, we said thank you and goodbye to the craftsmen working.

I thought about our lovely things and how they would totally fit that "grow old with and pass it down" type stuff that I'm into. I thought about if I'd get to "come back again". Maybe by that time I'll be working. Maybe by the time I come back, I'll need a new wallet, with new initials in gold.

Walked to another area known for leather, Piazza San Lorenzo. Stand after stand of leather goods. Some specializing in just purses, or just belts, or pashmina scarves. Keisha wanted leather gladiator sandals, Lucia a purse, and I was good and totally done with shopping. Right until I found myself at a belt stand with Keisha. The vendor was really nice and funny. I picked up a green leather belt but found that it was too big. "I fix for you!!" the vendor said. He put the belt around me, saw how much he should cut off, and then disappeared with the belt. When he came back, the belt was shorter, and he put one more hole for the buckle so that I can cinch it tighter. So sweet! For Keisha, he shortened her snake skin belt, put in another hole and even made a little loop with the extra snake skin. Lucia was at another vendor one stand down and got a black leather purse.

Afterwards, we went to the train station to get our ticket to Venezia. Got tickets for 15H-ish which was in an hour. Picked up our baggage at the hostel and went back to the station and got Mcdonald's before boarding our train to Venezia. Slept for most of the train ride.

VeneziaGot into Venice around 18H. It was so surreal traveling by train over the ocean and pulling into the station. Like something out of Spirited Away.We exited the station, and all I could think was Dr. Indiana Jones exhaling, "Ahh...Venice" in The Last Crusade. We got a 2 day pass for the "metro" which is really a boat that goes from dock to dock all over the islands. How cool is that?!

On the boat, we watched gondolas, boat taxis, and people with their own boats pass us. Got off at Ponte di Rialto where it was busy with tourists dining by the canals. I had directions to the hostel which were more complicated than I thought. And we passed lots of stores selling Venetian glass and leather bound journals. After what seemed like forever, we found our hostel through a tiny alleyway where we saw a lovely circular lamplight pointing to the entrance.

Checked into the Locanda Poste Vecie, and our sweet hostel lady showed us to the Annex, which was a couple metres down from the hotel. The annex was the "hostel" part while the lobby was part of the hotel part. The buildings were converted from a palace. I guess where we were staying were the servants quarters. She was really sweet and helped with Keisha's luggage, but was out of breath on the third floor where our room was. She also showed us the two shared bathrooms on the second floor.
Our room was HUGE and cute with paintings of famous Venetian bridges on its walls. Originally for 4 people with 2 queen beds, we decided to book it anyway since it was cheaper than other three-person rooms we found, and this hotel was in a super-central area. I mean, 2 minutes from Ponte di Rialto. Come on!

We collapsed on the bed to rest for a couple of minutes, then started unpacking. For fun, we laid out all the leather goods that we bought in Firenze on the bed and took a picture. We really went to town there. While Keisha was napping, Lucia and I decided to see the area since it was only past 21H. We walked around the canal area and the bars and found a cafe by the Ponte where we got sandwiches, chips, and water to go. Came back to find Keisha awake and hungry, so we ate while sitting on our beds, amongst our leather goods. Unpacked some more and went to sleep in our comfy warm beds.

j'aime...la liste.

2008-05-25T13:31:00.002-07:00

Things I like:

1* watercolors
2* sitting in parks to study with chocolate and fruit to eat
3* sitting in cafés to study with a demi-citron to drink
4* 1664 Blanc in its blue bottle
5* wearing a button-down over a flowy dress
6* stores dedicated to certain things (http://www.geant-beaux-arts.fr/) and Dubois on rue Soufflot
7* wearing flowy dress with my rugged engineer boots
8* not wearing a watch
9* mimes
10* finding new uses with old things (Bonne Maman jam jar for water when painting)
11* calligraphy
12* girls wearing high-tops and dresses
13* guys wearing 5 day stubble and wrinkled button-downs cuffed to elbow
14* brebis fromage + tuc crackers (+ jam, as suggested by Melissa, but I've never tried it)
15* square scarf as a headband
16* shortcuts or different paths to the same place
17* Monoprix peach champagne
18* when boys think I'm cute and tell me so (thanks Taylor!)
19* hosting dinner party
20* looking at all the color choices at Dubois (see 6*)
21* seeing my priests on bikes or wearing sandals while shopping for fruit
22* giving old people directions
23* tartines: opened faced sandwich

aquarelles

2008-05-24T16:09:00.006-07:00

So my drawing/watercolor teacher was none other than Kitty from "Arrested Development". In the midst of our quiet painting sessions, I almost wanted her to scream out "Spring break! Woo!" Naw, but she did look and talk kind of like her.

The whole class was me and 3 French kids she knew who were MICEFA students at Brooklyn College in New York, so that was cool. And these kids are AMAZING at watercolors. I had emailed Meghan (the teacher) about how my level was very debutante, but she encouraged me to come anyway, and I'm glad I did. WATERCOLORS ARE SO MUCH FUN!

We went to Jardin du Luxembourg and painted there. I used Meghan's brushes and watercolors, and she showed me some techniques, and I just played around before she asked me to do a scene. I chose a treeline that obscured the Pantheon. I was taking a while just to draw the general shapes of everything, so Meghan said, "My art teachers did this a lot at school to discipline us: you have two minutes to draw all the shapes for the scene. GO!" I flipped out and did the circles for bushes and trees and squares for buildings and the half oval for the Pantheon, and when my two minutes were up she was pleased. "Now, you can paint."

It was really illuminating to see things in a different way, just on a much deeper level. I've been in my tattered copy of Franny and Zooey again, the book that goes wherever I go, and two days ago I was on the part about no-knowledge I think which made me think of another short story by Salinger, and anyway, it doesn't really matter what this means to you because writing this out is for me and not you, and anyway this story was about seeing things first before being told what they are, and how children should learn things this way. So, in Salinger's sense, and with painting and watercolors in mind, I was seeing everything with a child's eyes. I was seeing, but not thinking immediately about names or assigning the recognizable to my other memories. I was just seeing something like it was the first time.

And it was beautiful.

Seeing this way...Now, it's like my memory is much clearer, and I can remember where the shadows where and where it was was lighter and darker, and the shapes, and where I was sitting. It's not like those basic memories where parts are displaced or mixed with other memories. It was just one perfect memory.

It started to rain so we went to a cafe to get a drink and then started painting there. And then when the weather got better we went back to Luxembourg to paint again. It was a really fun way to spend the afternoon and not worry about my tests and papers and leaving Paris. It was a really good way to relax. Below are some things I worked on:

After the class, I watched some performances at the Mime Festival at Luxem. It was really cool! I no longer have this neutrality towards mimes. They are quite the performers. Really funny too.

"I know I can make it through!"

2008-05-24T02:02:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was Taylor's birthday. It was originally going to be at Lily's, but she had to go back to the States, so I suggested mine since it's fairly large enough for 6 or 7 people. Everyone brought something alcoholic and something solid, so there was more than enough wine, beer, and food to go around. For hors d'oeuvres, small salami sandwiches, pan roasted potatoes (originally for dinner, but everyone was eating them!), olives, cheese and crackers, gummy bears. For dinner, salad, a roast chicken, and grilled aubergines. For dessert, Taylor's chocolate mousse birthday cake, of course, with mini ice cream cones on the side.

Taylor brought his Degrassi: The Next Generation dvds and we watched a couple episodes and assigned characters to each of us. This was my first time watching it, but I really liked it. I could see the 8-10th grade me watching this stuff, and I wish I did. Lots of laughs around my small, round table.

Today, I've got a drawing class, and it should be good since it's nice out. I don't know where we're drawing, hopefully a garden somewhere.

the final dinner

2008-05-22T14:41:00.004-07:00

Just got back from the final MICEFA dinner with all the CSU kids. It was really tasty and fun and just up the street from my studio. Had to say goodbye to Lily who's leaving tomorrow. Rosalie was enthusiastic as usual (she says Hi, Mom and Dad!), and it was nice to see her and Fred there as well as their kids (who are really in their 20s). Rosalie's speech before dinner was so funny. She said, "You're not better or worse...you're just different." I don't know why that made me laugh so hard at the table. I'm weird.

In retrospect, I had a really great time in Paris despite some trying moments, but I really learned a lot from them, and I'm glad they happened because they would not have led to the place where I'm at right now which is a very nice place both in a spiritual and physical sense. This was a really good year as a whole, probably the best of all my college years. I don't think I could stay in Paris for longer, but maybe in another city in Europe. I just feel like I got what I needed out of this year here and now I can move on to another city. I've never had that feeling in any city before, the feeling that the time you spent there was enough. But Paris...Paris was good for a year. A school year, at least.

So it was a good night, and I was gutsy and apologized to someone about my being weird (long story that you don't get to know) and that was a really huge step for me since it's really hard for me to be apologetic on a deeper level, and I feel so much better, and said person accepted my apology so that was nice.

presque fini

2008-05-21T07:58:00.003-07:00

School is almost at an end. Had 2 "finals" this week. They were just tests, really. After our test today, we went to BIA for our final "l'histoire de Paris" lunch. We finished the test early and got there around 11, and they don't serve lunch until 12 so we got American coffees and studied for our next classes or did some homework in our cozy little booth in the back. At noon, we ordered our delicious burgers and shared nachos. Oh American cuisine...

So it was a nice French style lunch since we were at the restaurant for more than 3 hours, haha. Then Taylor and Topher walked in and saw us and were all, "Thanks for not inviting us!" Afterwards, Melissa wanted to study a little before her next class so we went to another café down the street, le Café Barnum. A nice café on rue Monge. The waiter was really sweet and slightly impressed by our French accents, haha. Especially Melissa's, haha. He was funny though. I got a demi-citron and Lucia a demi-pèche (beer and peach syrup), and when he put our drinks down he said, "Here is the demi-citron, I think. And the demi-pèche...I think." But he got it right.

I like the idea of studying with a beer. It sounds counter-productive, but it's like studying with coffee. It's nice. And I'm savoring the beer. One demi, and I'm good.

We studied for an hour or so and went our separate ways. I was done for the day, so I walked around to burn off the burger and went to H&M to see if I can find something nice to wear for our final MICEFA dinner tomorrow. The dinner is going to be just up the street from me! Nice.

Firenze: Day 12

2008-05-20T12:35:00.001-07:00

Woke up late and got a croissant and cappuccino next door to the hostel. It cost less than 3 euros for both! Heaven. Keisha was having some money trouble. She couldn't withdraw money from an ATM, and when she called to check her balance it had been really low. So we spent the morning hashing that all out.

Went to the Uffizi and stood in line for almost 3 HOURS. Unbelievable. It was worth it though. Unfortunately, we couldn't take photos. I really like religious and medieval art. Saw Botticelli's The Birth of Venus. Sat on a bench and just stared at it for a while. It looked...faded to me, like it was almost disappearing. Maybe when they print it in books, it looks better, they enhance the colors more. But at that moment, I felt so lucky to see it right then and there, right before it got worse. And I thought about an excerpt from Fight Club, how even the Mona Lisa is falling apart.

Afterwards, we went...leather shopping. I took the girls to the Scuola del Cuoio or the Leather School at the monastery of Santa Croce. Started after World War II by Franciscan friars, the leather school is located right behind the church. It felt kind of hidden, which was really nice. You walk through this garden behind the church, and go up a set of stairs and down this hallway in the building at the back, and then you'll see these rows of work benches and old men putting leather wallets together. Between each workstation was a door into a room where women were sewing.

Glass cases held purses, bags, briefcases made in leather, ostrich, elk. I'm a huge bag girl, so this was heaven. For all of us. I was glad to have Keisha there too who knows quality when she sees it since she's worked at Louis Vuitton, and she was impressed. We looked at bags and wallets. The sales guys were really nice, letting us touch everything, not harassing us or bothering us. I found a gorgeous red Epi leather wallet. Epi is textured leather. It has ridges and the texture of tree bark almost, but with the ridges really close together. It was bright and it looked fun and mature at the same time. Unique as well. Handmade right there, no middleman. Inside the leather was smooth and black. I bought it. 99 euros. At Louis Vuitton, it would retail for over $600.

The workers there said I can come back tomorrow and get my initials on it (YAY!!), but not today since they were closing. We decided to come back tomorrow before we leave for Venezia. Keisha and Lucia were also thinking about what to get for themselves.

Went to other leather stores around the area, but nothing measured up to the Leather School. The girls were looking for nice leather carry-on bags. I love the idea of a leather carry-on bag or weekend bag, something that would age well, that would go wherever you traveled. Something you could pass on to your children that would have a lot of history to it.
We found a deli and ate some really, really great food. I got chicken and roast vegetables (aubergines, zucchini, bell peppers), and we shared a bottle of the house wine. It was really good and cheap and finally another meal without pasta. We just sat and savored the meal and talked for more than two hours. I love that. Back in the States, I can't remember a restaurant where we could stay for more than two hours. That rarely happens. And where the servers don't bother you every waking moment with, "How's everything doing? How's the food?" Here, they leave you alone, especially when you're having an intense conversation.

Afterwards, it was dark out and we wanted to end the day with the Piazza Michaelangelo. Our Vatican tour guide said that it's the best place to watch the sunset. Unfortunately, we missed it, but we still wanted a view of the city. We crossed the river Arno and walked up a hill until we found it. A large parking lot for buses but with an incredible view of the city. And a replica of the famous "David". We watched the view without saying anything, just taking it all in for a while.

the first goodbye

2008-05-19T13:39:00.005-07:00

Sarah leaves tomorrow. I can't even begin to imagine what's going on in her head right now amidst all the packing and getting ready, closing the bank account and buying last minute souvenirs for friends. Tonight, had dinner at Pondicherry, our go-to Indian restaurant near Gare du Nord. Susie got us a table for eight: Sarah, Lily, Peter (their roommate), Taylor, Susie, Lucia, Melissa, and me. The food was great as always and cheap. Had the masala dosai and a lassi mangue. We complained about school, laughed and made jokes, and made plans for the future.

Outside the restaurant before all going our separate ways, we hugged and said goodbye to Sarah and made plans to meet up in SF or at Chico where she goes to school. Then Sarah said, "Can we hug again? I'm really going to miss you guys." And then we all hugged again. It was really sweet.

Going through this just makes me think about what I did before I left the States to come here. I remember my brother having to go to work so he couldn't see me off. He said goodbye, and I was half-asleep. Mom, Dad, and Cher being the ones to leave me at the airport. I remember my last meal in the States being a McDonald's big breakfast.

I remember having a crush on a boy. At present, I no longer feel anything for him other than the platonic feelings I have for my other guy friends. I think being in Europe for a year will do that to you. I just hope to God that he doesn't feel anything for me anymore, that he has a girlfriend now. I don't know, in hindsight I feel really foolish for thinking that I will still like the same boy after being gone for a year in Paris.

I'm going off on a tangent here, but it's weird how much I really like being alone. Being in Paris really brought that out. I really don't feel like it's totally accepted in the States. I remember my friends back home being weirded out that I'd go to the movies alone. Here, it's okay. I see girls and guys alone at the movies, restaurants, cafes. I mean, I love my friends and their company, but I can do things without them and be okay. And it's nice to know that I can do that, that I don't have to depend on someone being there with me. Mom once said to me, "You're a loner, just like you father." And Dad once said, "You have the hands of an assassin." I think I must've been a ninja or an assassin in my past life. Just a lonely traveler. Maybe a Hessian like Christopher Walken.

It's a nice balance though--having a great group of friends to share experiences with and being able to get away alone and rely on myself. It's the best, and I can't imagine it any other way.

Pisa and Florence: Day 11

2008-05-19T04:24:00.000-07:00

Day 11
Woke up early. No time for breakfast. Andrea dropped us off at Termini station and hugged and said, "Ciao, bella" to each of us. We were a bit late, and we rushed to our train platform. It felt really Darjeeling. Next time I shouldn't pack so much.The train was pretty empty. The girls slept mostly while I wrote and drew and stared out our train window. Saw a lot of countryside and for almost an hour, we traveled along the beach. Arrived in Pisa around 11H.
We left our baggage at the station and walked around town, looking for a place to eat. We settled at an outdoor cafe that was alright. Then we got gelato. The tower is across town, but the town isn't so big. We took photos and I took some of people posing ridiculously in front of the tower. It was just too funny not to. Went souvenir shopping, and I got some really nice Florentine stationery because I could not help myself.

Went back to the train station and got tickets (5 euros to Firenze!). We mostly slept during the 3 hours. Arrived at the train station and walked to our hostel which took maybe 20 minutes, not that bad. The hostel girl was super nice, and so was our place. I was expecting to rough it a bit, but ours was like a hotel! We had our own bathroom and a spiral staircase to a loft that had 2 beds and another bed downstairs. Pretty sweet. Our view overlooked all the red rooftop buildings and here and there we saw a church dome.
We chilled for a bit and consulted my Let's Go Europe 2007 for a place to eat. I named some places and prices. Keisha was interested in Acqua Al 2 for their blueberry steak. It was finally decided, and we headed out for dinner.

The restaurant was dimly lit, and they let us in even though we didn't have a reservation. A lot of the diners were American. It felt like being in Pasadena. We then found out that they have another restaurant in San Diego. I got the balsamic steak, Keisha the blueberry steak, and Lucia the fish.

My food arrived, a big mass covered in a thick, dark substance that resembled oil. It was scary. Keisha and Lucia stared at it too. I cut of a chunk and dipped it in the sauce. Everyone said my face practically melted at first bite of my steak. It was heaven. We all ate slowly savoring our good food and pausing to sip the house wine. This older American couple sat by us and kept wanting to talk to us. At times, they were totally silent, listening to our conversations about guys. They were a bit uppity, well-to-do types from San Diego. We could sometimes hear the wife getting mad at the husband. It was weird. When they overheard us ordering limoncellos after our meals, they were all impressed saying, "So! You've been here awhile now!"We walked around the city at night. Got gelato and stood along the River Arno and then went to Ponte Vecchio, the oldest bridge in Firenze. Listened to a musician do "Mad World" by Tears for Fears on guitar. It was quite moving. Walked back to the hostel, passing by Piazza della Republica. An amazing, but long day.

Giverny

2008-05-18T06:04:00.002-07:00

Here are some photos from Giverny. But before I get to those, some pins and postcards from Senlis:
A view of the garden from the second story of Monet's lovely abode.
Me skipping for joy in such a lovely garden to the laughter of my friends.
The Japanese bridge in the distance
The quaint food stand.
Pouring on my lovely street.

la nuit de rien

2008-05-17T13:28:00.000-07:00

Tonight is "night of museums" and loads of museums are open until midnight. But I'm still tired from last night, and I just want to stay in with tea like an old lady.

Today, went to Giverny to see Monet's house and garden. His house is so beautiful inside. Couldn't take photos though. Took photos of lots of flowers and trees and birds. Then Lucia, Susie, Melissa, and Lily and I found a small outdoor restaurant by a stream and spent two hours there talking and eating. It was nice. The chef came out and talked to the people at each table, it was cute. Will post photos of gardens later.

I've got tons of homework to do, blurg. 2 tests next week and 4 papers to write. Boo. Like a lot of people here, I'm kind of over school and just can't wait for summer even though this year has been one really lax school year. I don't even feel like it's been a school year, more like a gap year. I just hope all this doesn't transfer into next school year. I have to find a job and work my ass off so I can graduate in time, but I know that even with 12 units a semester, I'll make it. I don't want to worry about the future, but it's so hard not to.

hey, it's late.

2008-05-16T17:16:00.003-07:00

I just got in from my friend's going away get together. She's leaving this Tuesday. It's all winding down pretty fast.

I didn't get into any advanced film production classes. To be honest, this really sucks. So I'll have to crash them when I get back. When stuff happens like this, I get this deep, quiet rage inside of me, but the energy always channels into something good. Good. It happened when I didn't get into my film production class last year, and I was effing persistent and annoying, and she let me in. And I proved to the prof and the TAs that I deserved to be there by working my ass off, and they later told me how happy there were to have me in class.

So this not getting in...can be a good thing. Just another one of those effing film challenges that I must face.

And if doesn't work out, I can always take it out at my backyard shooting range with my air-soft gun.

eat it like a sandwich

2008-05-15T15:32:00.004-07:00

School was blah today. Went to Musee D'Orsay to cheer my spirits/people watch/write. Left when too many people kept walking past me while I was writing. It was a nice hour. Then went to my cafe to get a demi-citron (Stella with lemon syrup). Did some writing there, then my waiter spied on me too to see what I was writing! Boo.

The best thing was, this Australian man in front of me ordered a sandwich. He spoke the basic French phrases like "Merci" and "Bonjour". When his waiter left, he said to me, "Parlez-vous anglais?" I said yes. He asked, "How do I eat this?"

"It's a sandwich. You eat it like a sandwich."

I smiled trying not to laugh, and the waiter came over asking what was wrong, and the Aussie explained what he was asking me, and the waiter and I looked at each other with this collective thought in our heads and just smiled. The whole thing made my day.

Then an amazing dinner with friends, lots of laughing and stories. Good food, beer, wine, dessert. I had a really good time. Thanks everyone.

european boys

2008-05-14T07:35:00.001-07:00

"The world you desired can be won, it exists, it is real, it is possible, it's yours." -- Ayn Rand.

I was at Breakfast In America, the American restaurant that we love oh-so-much when we're missing good ol' heart attack inducing American food, with Lucia yesterday. She was craving American breakfast. We both got breakfast burritos. We sat at that "inside outside" part of a restaurant that I was telling you about (see the "un jour férié" post). To our left comes the most cutest boy. He wore loose-fitting jeans and a black t-shirt that's seen too many washes and is probably at its peak of softness. He was tan, but not too tan, and tall, but not too tall, and he had short, perfectly tousled brown hair. He said to the waitress, "Hello. Bonjour. (insert soft spoken French here)". He then sat at the table beside us with his back to us. I'm pretty sure Lucia and I gasped collectively at this boy. Two words, and we were in love.

You've probably been reading this blog long enough to know that I have not made many European guy friends during my time here. I've been a hermit, curled up in my cozy shell. After spending time with Adriano, Andrea and meeting other European guys on this trip...I'm just blown over how amazing these guys are. I hate to compare them to my guy friends back home, but, wow--these guys are different. In a really good way. Because of them, I've really raised my standards. They're just more mature, intelligent, and still young at heart. They like to travel and care about learning different languages. They're close to their families. They practice rules of chivalry (some!). They know how to dress (all!). And I know that dressing part is so superficial but I think it shows that they take pride in their appearance and that they have confidence and creativity. Fashion is for everyone, not just girls.

Anyway, Lucia, Keisha, and I were talking about this on one of our long lunches in Italy, and we all agree--the guys are just better here. Sorry, American boys. Of course, there are downsides that I have not yet seen, but there will always be downsides.

Andrea said something during dinner when we were talking about boys again. I won't say what prompted him to say this or to whom but what he said was, "That's because you've only dated American boys."

That's because you've only dated American boys.

God, the whole world has never felt so big, so full of possibility before. Italian boys, French boys, Serbian boys (my Vatican tour guide!). All this time I thought I had it perfectly set, that I'd meet boys back in CA, maybe at school, just like most of the girls I knew, and if that didn't work, then there'd be boys at work maybe. I just always thought that it'd be simple, somehow something would work out, that I'd probably settle because, God, I'd be lucky to find someone who could stand me. That's what I believed. That I'd probably settle. Even when Mom specifically told me one day when we were talking about boys: "Don't settle."

She's right. I deserve what I want. We all do. Now the easy way, the set way that I had in my head doesn't interest me. The world is bigger than my life back home. That was evident when I came here. I don't have to settle. We don't have to settle. What we want is possible if we're willing to take chances, to be open. What does it matter if English is his second language, what does it matter if French is mine. What does it matter if he lives a continent away. It doesn't. But how should I know...I don't. But it's good to know that this is where I stand.

Roma: Day 10. Our last day.

2008-05-13T06:38:00.000-07:00

Roma: Day 10

Sunday. Our last day in Roma. The Vatican is free on the last Sunday of the month too. We were really lucky. We got there pretty early, but found the line to be really long. We couldn't even see where the entrance was. We were stopped by another tour guide guy. He wanted each of us to pay 20 euros for a guided tour, and we'd get to go to the front of the line. The bargaining went down something like this:

Vendor for Vatican tour: 60 euros for the tour. That's 20 each.
Lucia. 50 euros.
Vendor: 40 euros. I'll be right back. (He goes to talk to a couple who is interested in the tour.)
Lucia: Did he just say 40?
Me: I think I heard 15. Maybe he thought 15 each?
Lucia: LET'S TAKE THIS! (Vendor comes back.)
Vendor: 40 euros and she's (pointing to me) free.
Me: YES!

So I got in "free" again, but of course I reimbursed Keisha and Lucia. I love how I get the "free". I think it's because I'm like a child, very short.

Got to the front of our line. Our guide was an archaeological student from Serbia. I thought he was Italian because he spoke Italian well when he was trying to persuade the guards to let us pass through the short cut to the Sistine chapel (I semi-understand Italian with my French and Spanish background. Woot!). He was really, super cute and smart. He was very funny as well. He wasn't like those other tour guides that drone on and on. He'd ask us questions about stuff, and what we thought about a certain tapestry or sculpture. He was amazing. Me and Lucia shadowed him closely, haha. At one point, he grabbed my arm and pulled me towards him to let a group of Germans pass by in a crowded hallway. It was lovely.We finally arrived at the Sistine chapel. It was super crowded, but we got hear a lot about parts of the fresco. When he ended the tour, he said we could ask him any questions, so Lucia asked him for his recommendations about Florence, our next city. He used my fountain pen and wrote down what we should see in Lucia's notebook. He said lastly, "In Florence, don't be afraid to get lost."After the Vatican, we went to St. Peter's Basilica, and then the Pantheon which was pretty cool. Then after that Bocca della Verita, or the Mouth of Truth. I really wanted to go there because of Roman Holiday. There, Andrea picked us up. He took us to this orange grove that had an amazing view of the city, and then, he parked in this empty lot, and said, pointing to a wooden door across the street, "Look in that keyhole. There is a little surprise!"

We had no idea what he meant, so we got out of the car and looked into the keyhole of the massive door. Framed perfectly through that keyhole was a tree lined path and the dome of St. Peter's right in the middle. It was magical. After we all got a peek, we looked at each other, speechless. We then turned towards the car, and Andrea was standing there, smiling. He's so full of little surprises.He then took us to the train station to get our tickets to Pisa the next day. I love how they have this schedule of trains always running to cities and that we didn't have to plan too much ahead. A ticket to Pisa was 17 euros. Afterwards, we got dinner.

He took us to this amazing meat place. We got fillets, sausages, a hunk of grilled meat, potatoes, bread, and this plate of hot cheese to share. All of it was really good. Then we got gelato down the street. We went home to rest up early since our train leaves 7 in the morning the next day, but it was a perfect end to our Roman holiday.I don't think I can thank Keisha enough for making all this possible. Without her and her connections, Sicilia would probably be too crazy and Rome too expensive. We really saved by staying with her friends. And our hosts were awesome. Adriano and his family treated us like, well, family, and Andrea was so fun and spontaneous. He'd lead us around the city at night and we'd end up at Fontana di Trevi or the Spanish Steps. And he wouldn't even tell us that we were going there. And he didn't coddle us. He didn't tell us how the metro worked or how to get to his house. I think he wanted us to be independent, for us to figure stuff out for ourselves. And it's nice, you know? He's definitely not like any other guy I've ever met. He wouldn't rave about how amazing something was or bring our hopes up. He'd say something was "good", and we'd find that it was actually amazing.

He's very...European. I like that. Anyway, more on this later, I have a post coming up dedicated to, you guessed it, European boys.

my adventures in wonderland

2008-05-12T07:31:00.002-07:00

Here are some photos I promised from Chantilly and Senlis. Also, I'm going to continue to stretch out the posts for Italy. As I wrote before, they'll be interspersed between my regular Paris posts.Where to go in Chantilly

Exciting, no?
cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://i215.photobucket.com/albums/cc85/gungirl28/chantilly/IMG_5732.jpg" border="0" alt="" />A wooded path
On the bus ride to Senlis
Postcard Convention

So goth.

Exciting, no?

A tasty treat: a Saint Honoré, complete with crème de Chantilly
Forgot to tell you that there was a carnival going on at Senlis as well.
Carnival food stands are much cooler here
If that doesn't move you, or inspire you, or make you imagine of simpler times, then you are a robot.

back from Wonderland

2008-05-11T14:40:00.002-07:00

I have fallen through the looking-glass. Barbara B. invited me to go to Chantilly and Senlis for the day with her and Theresa. It's so nice when people invite me to things. It's really thoughtful. I don't plan a lot, so I usually have nothing to invite people to other than a spontaneous roast chicken dinner party that I sometimes have. But I'm always so astounded when people invite me to something or call me up to hang out. It means they want me around, that they like me or at least they can tolerate my presence.

Met up with them early in the morning. I'd love to post pics, but maybe later since the whole photo problem thingy. Took a train to Chantilly and it was such a lovely ride, all green pastures. And this group of bikers came on with their tight shorts, and they were so cute discussing their biking plans at the forest Coye.

We arrived in Chantilly and got tickets for the bus to Senlis. The original plan was just to hang out in Senlis, a well-preserved medieval city. But our bus wouldn't be here for an hour so we got time to kill in Chantilly. Chantilly is the horse capital of France. I like horses. Maybe because I think of knights in shining armor and girls in period dresses riding them.

We walked around the forest, and I suddenly remembered why I love the color green so much. It just reminds me of spring and nature and growth, and there were so many shades of it as we walked under all these tree-lines paths and reached the horse racing track. I saw a chateau in the distance and I asked Barbara, who's been here many times before, if that was the chateau of Chantilly. She said, "Yes. That's the one for the horses. The one next to it is for humans." I replied, "It's much smaller!" The Duke Orlean really liked horses.

Went to the tourism office and got some info. I found that you can rent bikes there! I might come back to rent a bike for a day. Then we took the bus to Senlis. We ate lunch at the park (tuna baguette--yum!). There was a family in the park (2 boys and 1 girl) and the dad was playing ball with them while the mom was sunning. The little girl fell and started to cry, running towards mom. When mom kissed her boo-boo, she returned to the ball game. The dad started cheering for her that she was coming back to play, and then her older brothers clapped their hands too. It was lovely. We then wandered the small city. Today there was a small "convention" for postcards at a church, so we went to that for 1 euro.

Oh. My. Gosh. Amazing. I'm a sucker for flea markets and yard sales, so this was right up my alley. Tables of vintage postcards, old letters, stamps, and trinkets. At one corner of the room was a long table where people where eating and drinking wine. We went from table to table. Mostly old guys were collectors, but they were really nice, asking if I was looking for a theme or a certain country or part of France for a postcard. I looked for cinema themes (not that great) and postcards about places I've visited. I also got a bunch of postcards for Cannes because the Cannes film festival is coming up. I've never been there but hope to someday, and not as a tourist. I can wait until then. I also chose some for their photo and the letter written on the back. Most of them had letters written on the back. My oldest one is from 1938.

I was reading some postcards, and it's funny that some of them have just one line on them or nothing at all. The one liners say "un bon souvenir" and who it's from. Sometimes, and here's what fascinated me, it said something totally weird. One of them said, "It's John Toole" or something like that, just an answer to a question. Today's equivalent would be a MySpace or Facebook wall post. Back then we had postcards. Life was simpler and slower.

So I got a bunch of old postcards with their stamps on the back, and also some really cool pins for 10 centimes each! That's like 25 cents each! They were really, really cool too. Can't wait to show you photos.

Walked around the city and some parks and just took in the sun and amazing weather. I really felt like I was in another world. Sometimes, we'd walk down these cobblestone streets, and there would be no sign of cars, nothing that could relate to this time and era, and it's like you're back in the 13th century. We walked along a path and found a creek, and it was so picturesque, it was just so hard to believe that this was really real. It was like something out of my imagination. And I felt that, if this was real, what else can be real for me? What else can be possible? And I thought about all my dreams, all that I ever wanted, and it all felt attainable. It was wonderful.

We went back to Chantilly and got off in the middle of the city instead of at the train station. Went to Barbara's fave boulangerie and got something to munch on for dinner. I got a quiche. We ate it in front of the chateau for horses. Then, because the horse racing fields were open, we walked through them barefoot since the grass was nice and cool and the sun still shining. We played with this really energetic dog while its owners were picnicking. It was hilarious, this dog picked up the biggest stick ever, it was practically a branch the length of my arm span, and he wanted to play fetch with it. So funny.

Arrived at the station, and went home. A lovely day in the countryside.

un jour férié

2008-05-10T03:10:00.000-07:00

The French have 11 national holidays. And 5 weeks vacation time compared to the U.S.'s 14. Awesome. As a result, I did not have class this past Thursday. I made a lunch date with Lucia, and we also planned to see "Iron Man" after. I was dying to see this film after reading a post from the Sickness (see the sidebar for the link to his blog).

Woke up, sun streaming into the room. Lovely day. Jeans, tee, sandals, and my bag slung over my shoulder. Walked towards Notre Dame, to my favorite touristy cafe. It's around 10H30. Lucia said she'll be late, coming around 12H. No worries.

Sat on a comfy leather chair facing the street. I love how the walls of cafes can sometimes open out like sliding doors. I didn't want my feet trampled on by tourists outside, so I sat semi-inside outside. Waiter was so cute with his crisp, white shirt rolled up to the elbow. He was young, maybe 18. I order a café crème.

Boys on scooters and bikes pass on rue Lagrange, the street I'm facing, coming towards the Seine and Notre Dame and turning left. Then a family on bikes. My coffee comes on a mismatched saucer that makes me smile.

I like the way tourists look and see things for the first time. The look in their eyes is money. Pure gold. It's like the moment before the tears of joy and happiness. Without the tears. They snap a photo, and it's theirs. A flock of nuns pass by. "Flock" because they looked like geese with white fabric draped over their heads and under straw hats. I quickly draw a picture with my fountain pen.
I can't get over how happy I am. And yet I hate myself for thinking, for even having the feeling that if I had a reason to stay, I would. I hate myself for lying to people and telling them that I miss my family when they ask because that's a normal, appropriate response. And I want to seem normal, I don't want people to be put off ease by me. I'm already weird to begin with. I love my family; they're with me always. So what is there to miss? Fred talked about this at the Peace Corps talks. He has no problem missing things. We're alike that way.

I thought about my friends. How I severed most connection from them because that's what I wanted. I sent postcards and received Facebook responses. I wondered if they'd still like me, the new me, or if I had to start over again. I got that feeling after one friend's visit, the one that called me "mean". I told my Paris friends about what had happened, and one of them said that "that should be a compliment". That made me feel good. If I lost all my friends back home, if they didn't like me anymore, then at least I had my expatriates.

An hour passed and I drank my coffee, and I thought about how long it took for me to get here, and how hard and painful it was in the beginning, but I made it and all that was worth it and it all led to me sitting at this perfect cafe at this moment now. The waiter continually drops change and it makes me laugh. I put my money out, and he comes towards me. He fumbles with the change, but doesn't drop any. We smile at each other and bid goodbye.

Outside Roma: Day 8 and 9

2008-05-09T00:32:00.001-07:00

Day 8Andrea planned for us to go to Tivoli today. He's a really good planner. He doesn't talk a lot, and we're alike that way. He would just subtly suggest things that he thought were good ideas. Like the day before Tivoli he said, "You know, it's so nice out we should have a day trip to Tivoli--you don't have to spend all 4 days in Rome. We can go to Tivoli, and my friend is having a picnic at a lake and we can go to that too. You don't want to be stuck in museums on such beautiful days." Boy was he right.

Went to Tivoli to see Villa Adriana, a city created by the Roman emperor Hadrian in the 2nd century AD. It's also on the UNESCO World Heritage List. I kind of want to see everything on this list. There's 851 properties.We enjoyed this sunny, breezy day walking through ruins and gardens. It's crazy to think that it's all still there, standing. Not in perfect condition, but the remnants are there. Today, we destroy everything. We leave nothing behind anymore. Maybe because it has no value. What does that say about us? No one will ever know someone lived in that building or something or other because it's no longer there, it's a Target now. Some of us will remember and reminisce, but we'll soon forget because that's Target, and they're having a sale on dvds.

Afterwards, Andrea drove us to Lago di Martignanno (I think that's the name). It was really hard to get there, way out in the country. I'm talking dirt roads and minimal signs. We got lost, and he had to call his friend to give him directions. There were two lakes, one bigger one and a smaller one, and we were going to the smaller one.It was a nice lake. Andrea had said, "In America, you like big. We like little." The lake was "little", but still big to me. And it was surrounded by green, and people were playing soccer and having picnics and sunbathing. It was nice. We met the guy hosting, his friend Carlo, who's super nice and reminded me of my friend Vilaska. The Roman version of Vilaska, haha. He offered us barbecue meat and bread and wine. We talked to an American girl who's teaching in Rome, a Spanish girl Marta, this hilarious guy Giovanni who kept giving us more wine, and other really nice Italian people. It was really cool. We raved how amazing Italian people were compared to the French, and Marta said, "When Italians love you, they love you forever. When they don't...watch out!" A storm started to come, so we left right before the downpour.

Day 9We woke up early to leave for Pompeii and see the ruined city. Andrea woke us up by using his computer in the main room where we were sleeping. He greeted us with, "You know that lake we were at yesterday? Someone died at the bigger one when we were there. A boat capsized and a man drowned."

We stopped on the way for a coffee and cornetta (like a croissant or any other pastry) at a coffee shop. I love the idea of just going to a bar and enjoying a cappuccino while standing. Especially when you don't have the time to really savor it like the French. Keisha bought some Vogue magazines--I perused the decorating one--and we were off.Pompeii was huge, bigger than Villa Adriana and it's a UNESCO World Heritage site as well. I just couldn't believe how much they uncovered, and it was all an accident. A city lost for more than a thousand years due to catastrophe. Maybe someone will undercover what we ourselves destroyed and learn something about us one day. We walked around, at a lost for words. In the "Garden of the Fugitives" we saw the plaster casts of Pompeiians at their moment of death, adults and children. We followed Andrea up a hill that was clearly not made for walking up and sat at one of the highest points in the city and ate oranges. We didn't talk much.

After Pompeii, we drove to the seaside city of Sorrento. Andrea had never been there, but always wanted to. It was really hard to find parking, so Andrea parked in a parking lot for an apartment building, and he sweet-talked the owner, a nice lady, into parking there. He told her in his sweet sounding Italian, "We're just visiting. We're only here for a couple hours. Would it be alright if we stayed here?" And the lady ate it up. I noticed that he's really good at buttering people up and making them bend to his will.

We got lunch at an outdoor cafe. I had the gnocchi "Sorrento-style". We walked toward this cliff, and Lucia asked an Italian lady to take our picture for us. When Andrea saw the photo, he said, "Let's take another one. Don't ask those Italian ladies. I will ask that German man." And he went toward the German tourists and asked if he could take a photo. The German did so happily, and afterwards he added, "Tell me if you like it. I framed the ocean in it." He showed it to Andrea and Andrea said, "Wow! It's great!" And it was. So, if you ever need someone to take good pictures of you, a German tourist is the best bet.
On the way back to the car, we'd pass orange trees full of oranges. Lucia, being so tall, got some for us. Andrea just said, "I don't know these tourists." Got home around 7 and around 10ish we went out and got pizza cooked "Naples" style. It was really good. Flat, not too much cheese. We then walked around the city, and it wasn't crowded at all, and there were barely any cars, and we walked in the middle of the street like it was nothing. We just followed Andrea, not knowing where we were going--he likes to do that--and then we ended up at the Spanish Steps. Unfortunately, I went bagless and didn't have my camera. Oh well.

my first parisien spring day

2008-05-07T06:59:00.000-07:00

So, it's gonna take a while to get through the whole of my Italy posts so I just might interrupt the Italy posts with regular Paris posts. Plus I'm having slight computer problems with my lack of space for my photos which is annoying.

Yesterday was a good day. It was really warm and sunny out. It would be a crime not to be outside. Susie had called asking me what I was up to so we met up and I met her guy friend, Paris. Named after the guy from Greek mythology. He is hilarious. He's French but his English is really good. We got some food at Franprix and a baguette and we lounged and sunned at Place des Vosges in the 4th arrondissment. I got a nice tan while napping in the sun (wearing sunscreen of course!), and we ogled cute boys reading with their sunglasses on.

We then headed to H&M--Paris wanted some new clothes because he has a date that he's meeting later. It's actually kind of fun shopping for guy clothes. I wish I could shop for a boy. We told him what looked good and what didn't. He got a shirt. We then went to Pizza Hut, which is funny. Paris said, "Don't you feel like you're back in California?" He paid for the pizza which was really nice, and I bought him gum later that he wanted.

Not even 9:30 pm, and it was still light out. We walked and didn't have to wear jackets, and it was wonderful. I walked home from that area, and everyone was out eating or having a beer, and it was just nice. It made me feel really glad to be back home. And then it hit me that I can only call this place "home" for less than 10 weeks. Time goes by so fast.

Today after History of Paris class, got lunch with Lucia and Kathy at this cafe that prompted Kathy to say, "I feel like I'm Atlantic City." Just really 70s decor. I said, "I feel like I'm visiting my grandma in San Leandro but she's taking a nap right now so I'm going out to eat with my friends." Sidenote--there's a lot of old people in San Leandro, g-ma doesn't live there anymore though, and they have coffee shops like this.

On my way home, met up with Susie since she was in the area, and we walked up my street and looked at all the dogs that were out for walks. And there was a breeze and I wasn't carrying my purse, and I felt so light. I wish I didn't have to carry a purse all the time.

Roma: Day 6 and 7

2008-05-06T00:44:00.000-07:00

Day 6

In the morning, Rosario drove us to the airport since he works there anyway. He hugged and bisoued each of us and said, "Ciao, bella." When an Italian says that to you, it really pulls at the heartstrings. And that wouldn't be the last time. We checked in our bags, got a bite to eat, and boarded our plane to Roma.

Andrea picked us up from the airport. Keisha didn't talk much about him except that he was a cool guy. I've met a lot of really cool people through Keisha so I trust her judgment. He studied at SFSU for a semester and now he works for Shell as an accounts manager. I expected to meet this European business dude that goes to restaurants with clients and meets other European business friends for drinks in the city. I was not wrong.

Andrea came out of his car wearing a button down and jeans. He greeted us with a total firm business handshake. He had curly hair and a strong nose. He looked like he could have been a Greek soldier or a Roman senator in his past life. He was totally cool though, making jokes and pointing out historical sites. He was on his lunch break so he dropped us off inside the city to wander around for the afternoon and then he'd meet us for dinner.The girls and I got a city map and walked along the Tiber and in front of Rome's only castle, Castel Sant Angelo. We then went to St. Peter's basilica and stood in awe in front of it before walking over to the Forum and the Coliseum. Rome is pretty small, it's awesome.We met up with Andrea and his friend Roberto at a metro, and they took us to go pick up pizza for dinner. Roberto was SO CUTE. He's a business man as well and had apologized for his suit, saying he didn't have time to change since he just came from work. His suit was perfection; I love it when guys wear suits that fit them well. He wore glasses and had a stubble like Jack from "Lost". And he drives a scooter! He speaks 4 languages as well. While we were driving around he'd tell us about the sights we were passing. When we passed a big church he said, "And that's the church where I want to get married...But I need a girlfriend first." We all laughed. Andrea added, "It's going to be a discotheque by then! Or a casino."

We ate pizza back at Andrea's apartment and Roberto lugged Keisha's luggage up 4 flights of stairs for her. Andrea had already brought Lucia and mine up. Roberto was telling me about some Italian movies that he liked after dinner, and we watched the tail-end of an Italian movie on tv while Roberto translated. His boss called him during dinner and asked him to stay later at work tomorrow. He was visibly upset after the call. I felt so bad. God, there's something about businessmen that just gets to me! He was really sweet, funny, and nice, and I was sad to see him go with his scooter helmet in hand. We never saw him again after that. I hope he's well. He's only 25, and yet he seemed much older, in a good way. Just really mature and pulled together, and it's nice to meet boys like that.

Day 7

Today, we decided to do the Coliseum and Forum. Outside the Coliseum are these guys trying to rope you into a tour. They offer the ticket and a guided tour in one price, and you get to skip the long lines at the ticket office. We got offered 25 euros for each of us, but told the guy that we were getting in for free since we had "European citizenship". Really, our carte de sejours wouldn't cover the free ticket that's offered to Euro citizens, but we were hoping the guy would give us a deal. He didn't.

The next guy though was different. He offered 25; we asked for 15. The thing is--you can barter here, especially on this kind of stuff. And Keisha and Lucia were really good at it. I am not. I think three people trying to make a deal is too much, so I just play the silent and mean card. And then, and it's kind of rude, we'd discuss in front of the guy about the deal in French so he wouldn't understand. It's kind of sneaky, but it's the only way. Finally, the guy said 20 for Keisha and Lucia, and that I can get in for free. Me! I think it's because I'm short, and I look childish. Of course, we split it three ways so 40 euros for three tickets!The Coliseum and Forum tours were really amazing. The guides were English speaking Romans. They had these cool books that showed pictures of how the site would look back then. It was pretty neat. I should look for that book. Altogether both tours took 3 hours or so. Afterward, we all took naps in this grassy part of the Forum. It was pretty sweet. We took a nap in the Roman Forum.We woke up and it started to rain so we decided to head back home. Lucia got a guy to bring down an 8 euro umbrella to 3 euros. Awesome. Tried to make it to the Bocca della Verita, but it was closed. Took a bus to the Fontana di Trevi and we threw in coins to ensure our speedy return to Rome.

Andrea took us out to dinner at a really good pasta and pizza place. He kept saying, "Eat! Eat! This is the Roman way!" while attacking the plate of appetizers. We walked around the city and ended up at the Pantheon.

Catania, Sicilia: Day 3, 4 and 5.

2008-05-04T11:43:00.002-07:00

Day 3

Lots of hanging out and lounging around. Big lunch at Adriano's grandparents. The grandmother cooked pasta, meats, and prepared salad, and we ate it in that order. I love how they have salad last. I'm going to start having salad last. It just feels right. I can imagine that going over well in the states, "Can you bring out the salad after my main dish?" Yeah, right. They'll think I'm a total weirdo. Adriano's grandfather was HILARIOUS when Keisha couldn't use the cheese grater correctly. The block of parmesan fell into Keisha's pasta and got sauce all over it. He'd put his hands on his head and laugh and mutter things in Italian. He tried to guess my nationality. "Spanish?" No, filipino. "Indonesian?" I just laughed.

Went upstairs and hung out with Enza and Maurizio's dog, Max for a while--we were all in a food coma. Then we took Adriano to the airport. He could only stay in Sicilia for the weekend. For the next 2 days it was going to be just us girls and the family.

Going around Sicilia is like being in the Philippines, almost. At least the Philippines I remember. A bit run down, but extremely beautiful nonetheless. Things are a little bit harsher, but we dealt with it, we didn't complain. That night we didn't have any running water--not in the shower or the kitchen. But we thought of it as an adventure, a small sacrifice. We called the family who was super helpful and slightly worried that we'd be in the country without Adriano. They said that maybe it would be on tomorrow. And it was.The house we were staying in is sort of...weird. The windows have iron bars, and then it has these shutters, kind of like the kinds that stores have that go completely over the whole front of the store when a store is closed. And then finally the glass window. The door, and there's only one, gets super, super stuck, and it it's hard to open from the inside. If there was a fire...well, it'd be really hard to get out. Lucia once said, after we tried so hard to open the shutters but utterly failed, "I don't like how we can hear everything going on outside and not see it." I said, "This house has the makings for a horror film. 3 girls alone in the Sicilian countryside and things go wrong right when the big strong man leaves." Lucia laughed uncomfortably at my reference to the water not running.
Day 4Aunt Rosa and Uncle Rosario picked us up at the house. Rosario opened the door from the outside for us. We drove to Mt. Edna and walked along the Silvestri crater. It was really cool. On the ride, Keisha told Rosario that I studied film. He looked at me through the rear view mirror and said, "Fellini." I said, "Yes, Fellini" in Italian cuz I didn't know what else to say. Rosa made us sandwiches, and we pulled off the road and had a picnic near Mt. Edna. Then they drove us to Syracusa to show us the Greco theater there and the Ear of Dionysius. On the drive back to Catania, Rosario drove by the beach. He must've heard of our disappointment. We pulled of the road and into this small neighborhood by the beach. We got weird looks from old fishermen as we walked toward the ocean and took of our shoes to feel the water. Rosario and Rosa watched from the car, smiling.They took us home and Rosa had extra sandwiches for us to eat later which was really sweet. I'm just astounded by this family and how well they treated us. Since day 1 I was seeing all these similarities between this Italian family and most Filipino families and how they treat complete strangers as family.

Since there was still light out, Keisha and Lucia went to go look for the beach while I stayed in and drew and wrote.

Day 5Our last day in Catania. Amara picked us up and we went shopping around the city center. Had my first taste of gelato: pistachio and coconut. So good. Baskin Robbins is garbage compared to this stuff. Amara showed us around the city. We went to Vincenzo Bellini's house which is now a museum. He's an opera composer from Sicily. Went to the Ursino Castle, saw some religious art, and I got my haircut at Enza's.For our last night, we stayed at Rosa and Rosario's house since Rosario can drive us to the airport in the morning when he has to work. Our place is hard to find and the whole family was worried about a taxi not being able to get there. We had our last meal with R. and R. and Amara and Eratzio. Chicken, potatoes, salad, and ice cream. Yum. We talked about languages and literature. Eratzio had said, "Why did God have to make so many languages?" Sometimes he would just speak to us in Italian and then when he looked confused he would ask Amara to translate for him. Rosario taught us some Sicilian words and proudly displayed his English skills. It was a great last meal.

Catania, Sicilia: Day 1 and 2

2008-05-03T06:26:00.012-07:00

Where do I start? This is going to be difficult. An in-depth day to day post would be too much for both you and me. And as much as I want to remember everything that happened, the posts that will follow will recount the best of the best.

Because I've come to know and love just a little bit of the Italian language and culture, I will refer each city to its Italian name rather than it's English one. Rome will be Roma, Florence will be Firenze and so forth.
Catania, Sicilia: Day 1In true Darjeeling Limited style, I brought drugs with me on the trip. I had a little cough, so I went to the pharmacy to get cough syrup. I didn't want this cough to spoil the trip. Anyway, I know that we'd be greeted by warmth and sunshine in Sicilia and that I'd finally leave the last days of Paris's winter.

Arrived in the afternoon in Catania where Adriano, Keisha's bf, picked us up with his cousin Francesco and Agata, Francesco's fiancee. Francesco and Adriano are really close and it's been three years since they've seen each other. Adriano and his family are Sicilians that immigrated to Paris. In fact, most of the family including Francesco, his Mom Rosa, his sister Amara--they all speak fluent French. So it was a bit odd yet cool to arrive here and to speak French to this Sicilian family--it was the only way we could communicate since their English was limited and our Italian was non-existent.

Met Adriano's grandparents, an elderly couple who live by themselves a floor below Adriano's aunt Enza and her husband Maurizio--they're hairstylists and own a salon around the corner. We met them too and their dog Max. Everyone was really sweet and welcoming, offering us food and coffee--best espresso I ever had had been in their homes.Ate tavolo calda style in Downtown Catania--so good. Had arancine, fried rice balls stuffed with meat and cheese. So tasty. We met Francesco's sister Amara and her boyfriend Eratzio. Amara spoke French and Eratzio only speaks Italian and very little English. They took us around the city at night, we got shots at a bar--their thing is a shot of gin and then this juice--and then we went home. We were pretty tired. We finally got to the house and we were all slightly disappointed that it was nowhere near the beach. When an Italian says that the beach is "right behind the house" in French, it means that it is 2 kilometers away. Keisha seemed pretty disappointed, but I didn't really care--we got free room and board in this amazing place. We were staying in the countryside, far from that incessant buzz of the city.

Catania, Sicilia: Day 2Early start. Got granita, a flavored slushy, and brioches for breakfast with all the cousins and their significant others. Lucia and I went in Amara and Eratzio's car to drive to the coast where the Cyclops Riviera was located. The Cyclops from Odysseus since legend has it that the Cyclops came from Mt. Edna. Eratzio was speaking Italian and Amara translated to French and he talked about Odysseus and Hercules--it was pretty cool. I used to read a lot about this stuff when I was a kid, and here I was seeing it up close. Eratzio was hilarious, I almost wished he spoke English just a little more. He parked on the dock in front of this huge boat and said, "This is my (insert Italian word for boat here)". Went to Amara's and Francesco's parents house and met Adriano's aunt Rosa. She prepared this amazing lunch with bread, deli meats, and salad. Obviously, I'm going to be talking about food A LOT. Rosa also speaks French. Her husband, Rosario, came home and we met him too--he's a fire captain and works at the Catania airport where we arrived. He knows little French, and he spoke to us in Italian even though we didn't understand. He kept telling us to eat more and more, "Mange! Mange, les petites filles!" We later got to bond with him more--he was super cool. After, hung out at Enza's hair salon, and Lucia got this great haircut. Enza used to work in Paris and has won awards as a hair stylist. They asked me if I wanted a haircut, but I said I wasn't sure. They have an open spot for Tuesday, the day before we leave for Roma, and I said okay.For dinner, we all went to a Sicilian pizzeria. Oh. My. Gosh. You have not eaten pizza until you have eaten pizza in Italy. We got potatoes first--the best fries I have ever tasted ever. Even better than the fries I've had in France. Then we all got different pizzas to share. I got the same one as Amara--tomatoes, ham, mushrooms. Lucia got a spicy one.
That night, we drove to Taormina. It reminded me of Mont St. Michel except with bars and nightclubs and high fashion shops. It was surreal walking through these old cobblestone streets at night and seeing brands like Gucci and Prada and Burberry in store windows and then an old church around the corner.

home sweet boo.

2008-05-02T16:27:00.003-07:00

Just got home. Adriano picked us up from the airport and drove each of us home. He also brought sandwiches for us. Oh these European guys and their lovely thoughtfulness.

I can't get over how amazing this trip was. It's seriously my best trip I have ever taken EVER. And I've been on a lot of trips. It's gonna take a lot to top this one. Basic reasons why:

1. Taken in and fed by the most welcoming Sicilian French speaking family ever
2. Italian boys and just European boys in general
3. The food, the gelato
4. our amazing LUCK and travel skills
5. the sights we've seen
6. the Italian people in general
7. the shopping (bought my parents and brother the coolest gifts ever)

Will post later. I have to let this all sink in...

surprise

2008-04-27T14:09:00.003-07:00

We added Pisa to our list of places. We decided to go there before heading to Florence. Andrea took us to an amazing place for dinner--a meat place. So good. We got drinks before and gelato afterwards. I'm going to miss this city so much.

Went to Vatican today, and I absolutely fell in love with our tour guide, an architecture student. What is it with this place that I fall just a little bit in love with almost every boy here that I encounter? Will write about it later. At one point, he pulled me towards him to let a group of tourists walk past us. It was lovely. He spoke so passionately about the Sistine chapel and Michaelangelo. I love it when people are passionate. He was funny too, I'll never forget him. He borrowed my fountain pen.

This has been one of the best trips I have ever made. Not because of the people I've come across, including a Filipina nun, but the warm hearts of every person who has ventured to this great city, of all the history (I took a nap in the middle of the Roman forum), all the food (I've had gelato at least 4 times, all great in different ways), and especially all the ideas and thoughts that this trip has provoked in me. I really don't want this to end.

The next time you hear from me, I'll be back in Paris.

"I met a man in Rome, and he's amazing, and wonderful, and we're getting married." - Annie, The Father of the Bride

2008-04-25T13:21:00.004-07:00

Haha, not true. But I did meet a lot of really great Italian and Sicilian peoples (don't call a Sicilian an Italian), a lot of really nice and funny guys too. I kind of have a crush on one I met--I'll get to him later. I'm in Rome staying with a friend of a friend, Andrea, a really great Roman, very funny. He took us today to Tivoli to see the Villa Adriana, and then to a barbeque picnic with his friends at a lake just north of Rome. It was quite amazing. Met a lot of really cool Italians--definitely something I could not pay for, and it wasn't even in the agenda. Tomorrow we go to Pompeii.

Everyone has been so warm and welcoming, the weather has been great (sunny, warm, no clouds), and the food has been...too good. I'm pretty sure I gained, but I did get sick before leaving, so who knows?

We leave Rome on Monday, and decided to take a trip to Pisa before heading to Florence. Later friends!

a quick one while she's away

2008-04-17T23:13:00.000-07:00

I won't even get into what a pain doing all those apps in triple time went. I should get first dibs in all those classes. My first choice was Cinematography, second Editing Film Projects, and third Directing. It was ballsy of me to even consider Directing, but I feel ready. More than ever. Whenever I've directed, I've always asked people how they felt about me as a director and the whole experience, from my director of photography to my actors, and I get pretty good reviews. I think Hollywood is due for a short Filipina director, don't you?

So, as you know, I'll be gone for a good two weeks to Italy. Expect little to no interweb updates--I'm going to be too busy having fun/eating food/getting a tan/being awesome. But I thought of some things you should do while I'm away that, maybe, you haven't done in a while or maybe ever. This is specifically for the people back stateside, especially my stressed out/"I don't have any time" friends in CA. You need this. Just one Saturday or a free day you have. Give it a go.

--Have a picnic
--Go to a museum
--Go for a walk in the park
--Sit in a cafe for hours reading or writing or people watching
--Go to the library and get 10 books on that one thing you were always interested in but never bothered to learn about. Skim those books and learn the basics.
--Don't use the interwebs
--Write a letter
--Opt to use your bike or your legs to get somewhere rather than your car
--Eat a tasty meal with someone you've been meaning to hang out with for a while

This trip feels like The Darjeeling Limited. Just me and my two other girl friends. I love it. I think I'd be Jack Whitman since I'm short, and I like to write.

Be safe and well.
love
love
lurve,
Elaine.

this has never happened before

2008-04-17T06:34:00.006-07:00

I am at the eye of the storm, where I am. I see this chaotic mess around me, and I'm at peace. This never used to happen before, I used to get so stressed out over stuff, but it happens rarely now. I have living here to thank. I have 3 film apps to fill out by tomorrow morning. I've just finished one. They're pretty curt, but pretty intense. One just states: "List the films you have made." Do you know how intimidating that can be?

I'm thinking of directors that didn't go to film school, and that somehow puts me at ease. I want the degree, I mean, of course I want the degree, but I don't want to be in school longer than I have to. I shouldn't have to "sell" myself on these apps to get into these classes that can only fit 18 students. I've heard horror stories of students not getting into ANY of these film classes. They just have to keep waiting. God, we all should get the chance.

If it happens, if I get in, then I get in. If I don't...I'll take it from there. Back to those apps.

Also, I just got off the phone from Mom and rest of my fam. My phone convo with all three of them lasted a total of 8 minutes and 35 seconds. And I only speak to them, mostly Mom and Dad, about once a month. Is that normal for long distance familial relationships? It doesn't seem normal. My family isn't normal anyway, but that's besides the point. The point is, we are so comfortable being away from each other because what counts is that we have each other in our hearts. Gosh, that was cheesy. But I do live in a country that doesn't think 3 fromageries within 20 paces of each other is the least bit excessive.

Speaking of family, I just started a Tumblr dedicated to my hilarious Dad. It's called "dad quotes". I have this ever growing collection of dad quotes and dad stories, and I thought I could store them on the interwebs for people to enjoy. Also I wanted to try the quick blogging Tumblr experience. No complaints yet. Enjoy dad quotes!

Happy Birthday Mom!

2008-04-16T23:13:00.000-07:00

Today is Mom's birthday. Happy Birthday, Mom!One time, I was out with my Mom, I don't know where. We run into one of her old co-workers from at least 3 years back. Mom's co-worker recounts a really cute story to me that more or less went like this:

"You know, before I met your Mom, I could never steam broccoli correctly. It always came out mushy. My children hated eating it. Your Mom comes to work with steamed broccoli, and I asked how she steamed hers. She boils the water then at boiling point she turns the stove OFF--I never did this--then puts the broccoli in! [I might have the actual steaming broccoli direction wrong, but that's not the point] Now my children will eat my broccoli. They love it."

It's when I hear little stuff like that that reminds me, time and again, that I have the best Mom in the world. Just hearing from other people how great my Mom is makes me smile, makes me feel so blessed and lucky. Not only is she a great Mom, she's a great Lady, Wife, Daughter, Sister, Aunt, Friend, Co-Worker, Neighbor, you name it.

She's great at telling stories--editor of her high school newspaper, yeah!
She cooks amazing Filipino food.
She dresses well.
She smells good, and her skin is soft.
She has a great smile and laugh and a charming and unforgettable sense of humor.
She's a great hostess and party thrower.
She lights up any room that she walks into.
When I walk into a family party, people come up to me saying, "Hi! How are you?...Where's your Mom?" Then beeline for my Mom.

Oh, how I long to be Mother with her soft skin and hairless arms. To have people naturally gravitate towards you with smiling and laughing faces, probably reminiscing in their heads a lovely memory of you. How to steam broccoli, perhaps. Oh that charm, that wit. That smile that puts everyone else at ease. Can all this be genetic, somehow?

Oh no no no. It's all you, you lovely lady. Maybe some of it came from Grandma. Some of it. Happy Birthday!

i will not flip out

2008-04-16T14:34:00.006-07:00

I was just looking at the advanced film production applications I have to fill out before I leave for Italy on Friday, and I'm trying not to flip out. This is my last college year--I have to make the right choices. I have two days to decide what's a priority. Cinematography? Directing? Screenwriting? Editing? Everyone else gets two weeks to get this stuff done, but I've got two days because I'm going to Italy. Oh sacrifices...

A walk down memory lane might calm me down:

At Skywalker Ranch with film friends
My Oscars...I mean George Lucas's...

My first 2 reels of 16mm...

At Entertainment Post in Burbank to get our film color corrected and telecined (transferred from film to DV so that we can edit digitally). We got the guy who did Pulp Fiction.

i lurve you

2008-04-15T23:21:00.002-07:00

My Wes Andersonian escapades made the Rushmore Academy front page again. Woot!

Sidenote: I'm super updating you guys since I have the time, and I will sincerely miss you during my two weeks in Italy.

love love love,
Elaine

aah! the socialists are trying to get me

2008-04-15T23:08:00.001-07:00

Cute blond Socialist called me last night, and like an idiot, I answered the phone. If you don't know who I'm referring to, please read this post. I thought it was Melissa calling me from her house phone. She had been texting me earlier about one of our assignments from her cell, but when she calls it's from her house phone since her cell gets bad reception.

Anyway, it was HIM, and he was trying to recruit me to come to one of the meetings. It went like this, in French.

Him: I want to know if I can get you to come to either the Thursday, Friday, or Saturday meetings.
Me: I can't. I have classes.
Him: Saturday?
Me: I'm leaving on Friday.
Him: Where are you going?
Me: Catania. Sicily. Italy.
Him: In French, it's Catane and Sicile.
Me: Okay, thanks.
Him: How long?
Me: Three weeks. (lie)
Him: You're gonna miss the big meeting on the first of May.
Me: (silence)
Him: I'll call you again for the next meeting.
Me: Great. (lie)
Him: Have a nice vacation! Ciao, Hélène.
Me: CIAO!

That "Ciao" he said got me, I almost laughed out loud. They say that here in France, but just in the context of me going to Italy made me laugh. I threw the "Ciao" back at him with some sarcasm.

God, I'm so mean to these Socialists, but they are persistent. But I almost cracked when he said my French-ified name. God, that always gets me, when a nice, cute boy says my name in a nice way. I think everyone likes hearing their name from someone cute. Gosh, I would totally be into this if he was in some sort of cinema club or something, and not politics.

I should have just told him that I'm not coming back. I saved the number now as "The Socialist" so now I'll know not to answer whenever he calls. I'll just not answer any calls anymore that I don't know, how about that? Yay. Done.

Whenever I talk in French or have a conversation in French, it feels really trippy. Like, "Is this really happening?" kind of stuff. It's just unreal. I'm not that great of a conversationalist in French or in English for that matter. Anyway, I got that feeling right after I got off the phone. That actually happened.

I'm gonna be that person that understands, but can't speak. Like the characters in the Ocean's series. They understand Amazing when he speaks Chinese, but they talk to him in English. That's me. I'm Danny Ocean. But I'd much rather be Brad Pitt's character.

musical abstinence

2008-04-15T11:30:00.002-07:00

My favorite band, Thrice, has a record out today, "The Alchemy Index: Earth and Air, Volumes 3 and 4".

And I can't have it.

At least, it doesn't come out in France until April 28th, and even then I'll be in Italy. Probably won't get it until May. Anyway, I'm going to "abstain" from downloading or even listening to it on their MySpace because, hey, I'm crazy.

I also...(le sigh)...remember the days before the internet? It wasn't that long ago. Just remember when you went out to get a cd or even a tape, and you didn't have any idea what the artwork would be like or you weren't even completely sure you knew the lyrics right when you sang along to the radio, but remember that excitement when you got that cd and you locked yourself in your room, and you listened to it from beginning to end with the booklet in your hands. Do you remember that?

Because I'm starting to forget what that was like.

So that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to wait. This is my favorite band in the world. I saw them when I was in 8th grade playing at Biola University for free to a crowd of twenty or thirty. I saw them play at the House of Blues the year I turned 16 to a over a thousand. I saw them play at Slim's in SF with my best friend, and we sang our hearts out and our feet would lift off the ground when the crowd swayed and surged.

I want the magic and innocence back. I'm going to wait.

the italian manifesto

2008-04-15T09:06:00.000-07:00

I've decided to make a manifesto for the Italy trip. Dorky, I know. But here are some goals, some rules or guidelines to stand by and/or keep in mind while on this trip. They will take effect the day I leave Paris.

1. I will not wear a watch on this trip. I'm not going to be a slave to time. I'm going to enjoy and savor everything in this wonderful country and not adhere to a strict itinerary other than my plane or train departure times. Also, I think my watch needs a new battery as the second hand is acting funny, and I don't want to buy a watch battery.
2. I will not bring my planner. I will not think about my obligations waiting for me back in Paris, my to-do lists, my homework. I will not plan far ahead into the future. I will only be concerned with the present and the day after.
3. Two meals a day. Same as Amsterdam. Same as London.
4. I will write every day. I will carry notebook with me everywhere and journal whenever possible.
5. I will draw. No one knows this much about me, but I used to draw. A lot. It wasn't anything amazing, it was all just for fun. Just doodles here and there of everyday objects and of me and my imaginary friend, Calvin, the British heir to a bookstore magnate (I had a really wild imagination as a kid--I still do). The inspiration came from the illustrations from The Chronicles of Narnia. I really like those ink drawings. Anyway, I will try drawing again. End of manifesto.

So, yeah, there's that for my trip.

parisian sundays

2008-04-14T02:41:00.001-07:00

Another lovely Parisian Sunday yesterday despite the crummy weather that came around 16h-ish. Went to church with Lucia near the Arc de Triomphe. Then, since it was sunny out, we dined outdoors at a brasserie in St. Michel. We both got formules: salad, steak and frites. Lucia had wine, and I had a Coke. The Coke here tastes better than Coke at home. It's not too strong--it's a little flat, but it still has bite to it. They also serve it with lemon.

We listened to conversations going on around us. Our favorite was this couple and the girl's guy friend happened to walk by and stopped to talk for a really long time, and her date was just emanating so much hatred for the dude. I mean, this guy friend was a total douche, just flirting right in front of her date. When he left, she apologized to him. After our food, we declined the waiter's offer to serve us coffee. We decided to get coffee somewhere else.

I love the idea of "meal hopping". Getting a meal one place, then dessert and coffee somewhere else. I've done it a couple times back in SF around North Beach. We went to my favorite café nearby Notre-Dame. I love this place because for a café crème they give you your own milk pourer thingy so you can control how much you want. Lovely. And I love the cups they use. If I find any here or back home, I'm getting some.It's touristy, but I still love it, just being surrounded by people from all over the world. The chairs are super comfy as well. Lucia and I talked for an hour or so, probably more. It's funny how much time can go by just when you're really engrossed in a conversation with a friend.

I learned some things about where we're staying in Sicily.

1. The beach is behind the house we're staying in.
2. Our beach faces the east--we can watch the sunrise.
3. The beach is ours.

I think I just peed in my pants a little. Out of excitement, of course. I'm debating whether or not to bring the video camera. I'd love to film, but I also hate the idea of being burdened by all this stuff. I'm trying to go light for two weeks, bringing only my backpack (which can hold 40 liters) and a purse. Just the idea of having the camera, the dv camera, in addition to what I usually carry in a bag already hurts my shoulders. I'll think about it.

castle day

2008-04-13T00:40:00.000-07:00

ATTENTION: This is a lengthy post. Grab a cup of tea and settle down. If not, look at the pretty pictures!

Great day yesterday. A "jour du château" or "castle day", one might say. I officially declare April 12th "Castle Day". So on every April 12th I must visit a castle (or in my case to make it easier for me when I'm back in California) a famous home. Or do a picnic. Maybe next year I can do Hearst Castle and picnic. I had an amazing day. That's why I want to commemorate it.

Topher and Nathalie, the cool kids at Micefa, organized the trip. They both came up to me, at different times, asking if I was making a short movie about this day trip to Chenonceau and Villandry. Sadly, I didn't bring my video camera. But it made me really happy that they asked me about it. It's the same feeling when I "established" myself as a filmmaker back in SF, and once I started showing my films people would come up to me and ask what the next project was, if I was writing anything or if I needed crew. It's the best feeling in the world that a small filmmaker can get. At least, it's the best feeling for me.

VillandryDrove 3 hours south to the château of Villandry, a two-story home complete with a keep, moat, and 10 acres of gardens (they had a hedge MAZE!). I loved it because there weren't many people around, and it really felt like someone's home rather than a museum. There were no velvet ropes or loads of signs saying "Don't touch". You just felt like you were transported to the 18th century. And you respected it, you know? You didn't touch anything. And if you did touch something, you only did it because you were so moved by the thing--for me it was this amazing bathtub in one of the main bedrooms. After, Keisha, Lucia, and I picked a bench to have a picnic on in the gardens. It was right in front of the lake (see pic below--this is the lake as seen from the keep). Only they didn't pack lunches like I did. So they went outside the castle to get food only to find out they couldn't bring food into the gardens. So I had a lovely picnic lunch by myself. It was amazing. I know a lot of people who have a problem being by themselves, but there are some of us who eat at restaurants alone, go to movies alone (Catherine!). It's interesting. Try it sometime.So I sat on a bench/leaned against a tree that was growing oh-so-perfectly next to the bench so that I can lean my back against it in the semi-sun semi-cloudiness in front of a lake. Heaven. For picnic I put this together:
1. roasted chicken sandwich
2. hot and spicy Pringles
3. one sweet clementine
4. an 1848 white chocolate bar with whole hazelnuts and nougat (my fave white chocolate bar, the 1848 brand is really good)
5. evian water

Loveliness. A castle garden picnic. I just want to have picnics all the time now when the weather's nice. I felt so at peace. With nature, with the beauty of this castle. And I thought about the centuries of families who lived here, who raised their kids here. Even though they grew up in a castle in the French countryside, and me in the suburbs of Los Angeles, I felt that, at base, we were the same. Me and these kids. Because we had parents who wanted the best for us...It was just this feeling I got.After picnic, I laid on the grass in front of the lake and did some writing. Birds were singing. I could hear Susie, Melissa, Topher, Alan, and Taylor joking and laughing nearby. And it made me so happy. Just knowing that people were having a good time. Taylor was being really silly and ridiculous, but lovely as always, haha...

It started to drizzle, so we headed to the bus. It was time to go anyway. I bought a pack of playing cards that have flowers on them with their species name and historical figures for the kings, queens, and jacks. They're pretty cool. Saw this in the guestbook, and it made me smile:ChenonceauThis castle was even better. Built across the river Le Cher. Incredible.

They had a wine cellar for wine tasting, gardens, and another hedge maze! We got to go in this time on our way back to the bus.There's more history to this one, but it was much harder to enjoy since it was pretty crowded. I still liked it though. There were fresh flowers in every room, and some of the fireplaces had real fires in them! It really kept the rooms warm. At one point while we were inside, it started raining then hailing, and then it cleared up again. Such temperamental weather.

Here, I got a fleur de lys pin that looks really cool on my jacket. Keisha got one too in gold but much bigger.

On the way back to the bus, we hiked through the foresty area to get to the hedge maze which wasn't that tall, but still cool and easier to get around in. I got out last. Typical.I think seeing a bunch of smaller castles is better than going to the larger ones like Versailles. I mean, I liked Versailles, but there were too many people, it wasn't as intimate as these castles, and it was just too much for one place. But it is Versailles, after all.

All my photos are uploaded to my Photobucket, just follow the link in the Mediatheque section. Enjoy your weekend!

I can't wait until you're replaced by robots

2008-04-11T21:21:00.000-07:00

Man, French people can be mean. It's been a while since I've had a mean French person encounter, so I figure I was due.

After class yesterday, I went to the supermarket, but not my usual one. I rarely shop during busy hours (around 7 pm), but I had to get some stuff for today. I'm going to the Loire Valley to visit the castles of Villandry and Chenonceau. In between the visits, we're going to have a nice picnic, and I didn't want to buy expensive foods on the way when I can make my own.

The lady working at the cashier register was tired and complaining about her stomach and her belt to her friend who was behind me in line buying groceries as well. When it came time to pay, I was getting coins out so that I can give her exact change. She then blurts out to her friend, "Why do people always give me exact change? It's such a bother!" She let out a huge sigh, and I looked at her and then her friend who threw me a sympathetic look that seemed to say, "Please excuse her, she's tired."

Whatever, cashier lady. I apologize for ruining your already monotonous job. Is it so bad that I had to make you put coins away? That I had to make you do math? Well, the machine does that math for you anyway. You scan, take money, and give money over and over again. It's robot work. You're going to be replaced by robots someday. I will cherish that day. In fact, the rise of the machines has already dawned. I've been to Monoprix where you can do your own scanning and just pay the machine. Target has it back home too. It was lovely. The interaction between me and this robot cashier. No human contact. No French snottiness.

Robot cashier even wished me a nice day.

In other news, I'm sitting in the most comfortable chair in my studio: the director's chair. How appropriate. I have two director style chairs that I usually break out when guests are around, but now I'm using one as my usual chair. Why didn't I use one before? Because I'm an idiot. They're great to sit in while writing and blogging and organizing film schedules for the summer. If anyone's down to work with me on July and August weekends, I need a camera person. We'll be filming in San Francisco, Santa Barbara, the LA and OC area, and San Diego. (Lombard, I'm talking to you!) This is that mock-doc that I'm doing for my brother's wedding in the style of "The Office" and Christopher Guest films.

"Good morning Mr. Breakfast!" -- Pee Wee Herman, Pee Wee's Big Adventure

2008-04-11T01:42:00.008-07:00

This is my morning set-up. Laptoppy by the window, English breakfast tea at my right, and some sort of breakfast food at my left. Today it was whole wheat crisps topped with the prune jam my landlord gave me. Yummy. Today the window is closed because it's cold out. I can't wait for summer.

Today marks a milestone. I am finished with another book. Yes, I write in another separate journal apart from this blog. This one dates from 13 August of last year to today. I bought this one at Borders. It's black, unlined. Cheap. My next one, that I already bought, is a Moleskine volant. Also unlined. I like it 'cuz it was pretty cheap and it's light so it'll be good for my trip to Italy.

You should try writing sometime. Not blogging, but writing. Just 10 minutes a day right before bed. It helps me re-organize my thoughts, gets me calm before I go to sleep, and I swear, it's stress relieving. I'm slowly trying to bring back the old ways.

I've been looking up stuff to do in Sicily, and I'm very excited. There's archaeological sites like The Valley of the Temples, the volcano Mount Etna (the locals refer to it as "Him"), the Aeolian islands, and the FOOD, my God, the food. Gelato up the kazoo. Cannolis, caponata, arancini...Wiki this stuff. Can you see why I'm excited?! And in a WEEK, I'll be there! AAHH!!

Movies I'll be watching to get ready for Italy:
--Roman Holiday
--The Godfather
--Only You: Does this even take place in Italy?

"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt." -- Abraham Lincoln

2008-04-10T11:31:00.004-07:00

I really am a fool.

I am not afraid to admit that I'm an idiot sometimes. I'm not very good at history. I can't really retain a lot of things. I'll learn stuff and then *poof* out it goes with the trash. Dates, events, important happenings in history--it doesn't come easy to me. I envy people who have this gift, namely Kathy and Kristin who rule in our French History class.

Here's what I can remember and some of my strengths that I hope make up for my lack of book smarts: I can remember something funny that someone said; the locations of places and how to get there. I have a good sense of direction and pretty good with a map. I have great ninja skills (my ex-roommate always hated my stealth mode). I'm pretty observant and MacGyver-ish. When Stacy was here, I fixed her broken zipper with stuff I had around the studio. My Dad once said I'd make a great assassin.

What am I getting at? Oh yeah...I love it when people just already assume I'm an idiot, and then they're proved wrong, not by me, but by some outside force. Case in point: today's class. I had to work with a girl on a grammar exercise. This girl is already a know-it-all, I really don't know what she's doing in our class. She answers all the questions, almost with an air of resentment for everyone else who doesn't know the answer.

So, we're doing an exercise together, and she goes ahead and states out all the answers for me and then goes back to writing in her journal/doing other homework. Whatever. So I do the exercise myself, slowly, trying to figure out the answers on my own and ignoring what she told me. She leans over and asks, "Do you need help? It's blah blah blurg." I look at her and mutter, "Merci." And then when she wasn't looking I made this funny face that only God could see.

Minutes later, the prof's passing out homework. She gives Ms. Know All hers and talks out loud about the little mistakes she made. She sometimes does this for our papers. She hands me mine and says, "Very good" and that's it. Ms. KA looks at my paper and says, "You write well?" I shrugged and didn't say anything and just put the paper in my folder.

Awesome.

Lucia and I were recently talking about Italy, and I totally forgot that we'll be by the beach for our first stop. YAY! Sun, finally. I'm still using a scarf here. A scarf in April!

Luckily, Mom sent me my bathing suit and boardshorts with Cher and Char. I can't wait to get some sun. I also want to jump off a small cliff and into the ocean, if it's safe and possible. You always see that kind of stuff in movies.

i love wednesdays.

2008-04-09T06:28:00.005-07:00

Wednesday is the best day of my week. It's my favorite class, the week is almost over, and I can always look forward to lunch with the girls after our History of Paris on-site visit. Usually we pick something close to the site we visit or depending on what we're craving. Today, we visited Jardin du Luxembourg and ate at Crêpes à Go Go. Kathy's parents were with us, and they haven't had crêpes yet.

The visit was great. Luxembourg is my fave place to read and chill, so learning more about it just helps me appreciate it more. I love how sometimes we hang back to take photos, and our teacher keeps walking and talking and pointing--she just looks crazy. A crazy French lady talking to herself. But she's not that at all. She's lovely. I was looking at something far away and walking at the same time, and I totally crashed into her. Everyone laughed, including Kathy's parents who came along. She didn't mind it though.

I got the set menu for the crêpes (which includes a ham and cheese crêpe, a crêpe with sugar for dessert, and a choice of café or cider) along with an orange pressé which is pretty much pure squeezed orange juice with water on the side to add as much as you want. They have the same thing for lemons and grapefruits. We split up after lunch--Melissa went with Kathy and her parents to show them the Sorbonne, and I went with Lucia to the Phone House so that she can get a new telephone. Hers broke.

After, Lucia went to class, and I hung around looking into all the great stores on Rue Soufflot. La Sorbonne is nearby and some other schools, so there's a lot of papeteries (stationery and school supplies) as well as bookstores. Then I walked home. A great day.

I'm going through the advanced production class application process right now. It's a little tough since I'm abroad, but I'm in contact with the production coordinator who's an awesome guy, so he told me how to go about it. I really can't wait to get back into my film classes, especially my screenwriting II with Prof. McBride. I'm kind of scared that he's expecting a lot from me when I come back.

My best friend, Catherine, from SF has an Imdb page! Check it! It's for a short she was a grip on, but hey, that's something! I'm really excited for her. I'm so glad my film friends are doing so well. I have a lot of catching up to do.

a cute boy asked for my number!

2008-04-08T06:52:00.004-07:00

Okay, okay, it's not what you think. And it's not that exciting. I was on my way to class, and in the doorway are these people who want you to vote for the school's blah blah or attend this manifestation or whatever. I usually take the fliers to appease these people then recycle them when they're not looking. Technically, I'm not a student at their University, I'm just taking classes there. And I'm not "supposed" to attend manifestations--I could get arrested and deported.

So, I got beamed into the Death Star that is this cute, bespectacled blond boy who was passing out fliers. I held out my hand to just grab one, but he kept talking on and on about a conference being held, so I systematically said I'd go, then he got his freaking pen out and asked my name.

Oh blurg.

So I gave him my "French" sounding name: Hélène. He correctly guessed if I was from America, and I replied yes from California. From San Francisco? I said yes to that to. The dude's pretty good at pin pointing even though I'm really from LA, I go to school in SF. Then he freaking asked for my number, and like I was still in auto-pilot, I freaking gave it to him. Stupid, stupid. I should have given him the number for Pizza Hut, if I only knew it. He might have known it though. Can you imagine, some guy asking for your number and you gave him the Pizza Hut number? That's Pizza Hut, he'd say. What would you say? I'd say, "Oh, that's my work number, sorry. My cell is (insert other fake number)."

Anyway, he said he'll call me on Friday night to remind me of the manifestation on Saturday since that was the one I said I'd go to. But I'm not going. And I'm not answering any "inconnus" (unknown) numbers on Friday night.

I recycled the fliers, don't you worry.

Free Museum Sunday: Musée Rodin

2008-04-07T02:16:00.002-07:00

It snowed last night, and I missed it. Actually, I caught the first bit of tiny flakes, but I didn't stay up because I didn't think it'd amount to anything, but I was wrong. Saw this when I looked outside my window. Dang.For free museum Sunday, I went to the Musée Rodin. Took the line 10 to the RER C--super easy. Met up with Lucia in the gardens. She was hungry, and I could always go for a cup of tea, so we ate in the gardens. It was most lovely since the sun was out for a bit. Lucia got a salad, and I got a strawberry pastry and Darjeeling tea (from the Mariage Frères (Mariage brothers)--famous French tea purveyors). Both were amazing.If I didn't mention it already, I'm a HUGE fan of tea. So I was really excited to have tea from this famous French tea company. The tea was really light and delicate, perfect for a springish day. I think I have to go to their tea shop before I leave Paris.

The museum was pretty cool. I really liked "The Kiss", which is the famous one. I think my favorite is "Death of Adonis" though. Lucia and I finished the museum in an hour or so--it's not that big. Then we wandered in the gardens and watched little kids run onto the grass when it's actually forbidden, but it was fun to see them break the rules. I took a pic of the museum, and on the main lawn, on the right, you can see a kid lying on the grass--his pose is hilarious.
Saw Lily, Sarah, and Romina there as well as Kathy and her parents who are visiting her. After, Lucia and I walked by Invalides, and we saw boys playing soccer on the grass. Lots of boys. Lots of cute, athletic boys. They wore bright jerseys and shorts that hit above the knee and showed off their calf muscles. It was nice a nice sight. I get the same fluttery feeling whenever I see guys in baseball uniforms. It's just a nice picture.

the beauty in simplicity

2008-04-06T00:21:00.002-08:00

Oh, how I love the interwebs...I just created a Muxtape account. It's pretty much an online mixtape. I used to make mix tapes all the time since my first car only had a tape player in it. My second car as well. I was also listening to a mixed tape in that first car (listening to Thursday's "This Side of Brightness") when I got in my car accident. Hit by an airport shuttle van on the way to school. I wasn't hurt; neither was the guy who ran the red light and hit me. Anyway, I made some playlists for my trip, most of them named after the cities I made them for (Paris, London, Amsterdam).

Check out my muxtape. This was my "leaving" playlist. This was what I listened to on the flight from LAX to Paris. Of course, there's more songs, but this is the gist of it. I'll put up my "paris", "london", and "amsterdam" mixes up later. I really love the simple design of this site. I also browse other people's muxtapes to check out their music. It's pretty sweet. My Muxtape will be posted in the "Mediatheque" section on the left with the current playlist.

There's another simple and cool site I've become a part of called "Dopplr". It's really for business travelers, but I thought it might be fun. I can also connect with my friends and see where they're going. I've posted my Dopplr badge in my "Mes Voyages" section.

You have no idea how much I want to make travel a part of my life. I just always want to have a trip in the horizon, no matter what size. Whether it's a drive from SF to Santa Rosa to see the Peanuts museum or two weeks in Peru. It's nice to have something exciting and unknown to look forward to. When I start working again, I'm going to make sure I put money away for my future travels. I already have a savings account that's building up interest just in case I'm in a jam (thanks Mom for setting that up), but I want to create something just for traveling.

I got a message from my friend Andy who is in Australia studying film production. His focus is on sound. He wants me to come over and visit him! Could that be the next big trip? Who's in?

"Let's take a look at the itinerary." -- Francis, The Darjeeling Limited.

2008-04-05T00:55:00.008-08:00

Asked Mom to send me the itinerary for their trip and got this: Absolute insanity. You have no idea how freaking excited I am about this. You know how some kids don't like traveling with their families or parents? I am the absolute opposite. I love it. I guess because traveling has been ingrained in us for so long, from weekends to San Onofre to three weeks in the Philippines. And I'm with the people I love--heaven. And I'm in desperate need of some Dad humor and Dad quotes. You would not believe the things this ex-sailor says. He's so hilarious. And just paired with the rationality of my Mom...fun times indeed.

My aunt Trini will also be joining us too. Mom's good friend, but I call her Aunt--you know how that is. She's hilarious, and I've always looked up to her as a fashion icon. She's one of those ladies that you might think goes to fashion shows or has her house featured on Architectural Digest (her house is amazing), but she's none of those things, just a regular lady like my Mom.

I'm excited about doing this all in a car and taking our time. I really want to drive in the countryside too. Wait, it might be stick though. Shoot. I can't drive stick. This would be a great time to learn! I'm always bugging Dad to teach me. Dad has an old Chevy truck that's stick, and I've always wanted to learn on that. He said that, "If you can drive this, you can drive anything. You can drive a tank." So that was great motivation.

I have a cat.

2008-04-04T10:57:00.000-08:00

No, not really.

Landlord stopped by today to drop off some homemade prune jam. What did I do to deserve this? No, really. What did I do to deserve this. Haha, it was a really sweet gesture. And it's quite good, he's given me some before. I opened the door to let him in, and this cat darted into my studio. I was surprised, and Chris just laughed it off. "Oh, haha! Such a fat cat!" he said. I said maybe a bit too seriously, "Is that your cat? Do you want me to get him?"

"No, it's the neighbor's cat. (Pause) Well, have a good day!"
"Wait! Should I take him outside or..."
Chris gave me some ambiguous answer. So French. I let the cat stay and watched him for a bit until he went into my bathroom and found this hidden crawl space and went into it. That made me flip out, I was hoping this wouldn't turn into some "Full House" episode or something or end in some sad disaster resulting in the whole building hating me. He (or she) crawled out and at that point I nicknamed him Tintin since he was lounging by my Tintin towels for a bit.

Tintin explored my studio then sat by the window and people watched. It was pretty cool, having this cat for a bit, but also distracting since I was trying to do homework. I felt like Amelie when she has to cat-sit her friend's cat. Tintin heard the downstairs door open--he was probably anticipating his owner's return--so he went to my door, and I let him out. Don't worry, he'll be okay. There's actually a hole by our door building big enough for cats to sneak in and out, and I've seen him hanging around here a lot, so he knows where his home is.

Finally feel like I have my studio to myself again. God, living alone is so nice. It's so nice to lay on my bed and have all the pillows to myself. It's so nice to wake up whenever. It's so nice to make my own food. It's also nice to have a friend over and drink weird Jamaican ginger soda and shoot the shit, as they say. (That was my night last night). I'm really going to miss this when I have to move back in with roommates.

My favorite photo that I've taken so far. Taken at Opera Garnier. There was an old Japanese couple. His wife was dressed in a traditional kimono and the husband was taking photos of her:

springish

2008-04-03T10:01:00.006-08:00

Woke up today totally unmotivated to go to class, so I skipped my morning one. I was just too tired. I ended up running into my morning class teacher and she said, "Ca va, ma cherie?" (Are you okay, my dear?) And then she came over and hugged me and kissed me on my forehead like your grandmother would if you were sick. If this was America, that would be weird, but she's a really sweet French lady and laidback and wears huge Lacoste sweaters and big ass glasses like Adrien Brody in Darjeeling (but not tinted) so that makes it okay. Very affectionate to the girls in the class (always bisousing), and she absolutely loves Italian boys. I had an Italian classmate named Manfreddi, and she'd always call out to him whenever he came into class late. "Manfreddi!"

Afternoon class was okay. There are some American girls in this class who can't speak very well or are not so confident, so they'll sometimes start in French, and then when they don't know the word in French they'll say it in English and as a question. For example, "Il joue...joue. Joue?...Plays?" (Joue--from jouer--means play or is playing). The other students talk much faster and have interesting analysis. I've only spoken once in class, trying to analyze a sentence from a Marguerite Duras excerpt, and the prof shot me down, so I haven't fully recovered yet.

I felt bad for these poor girls because they seemed embarrassed to be at their level while everyone else has clearly had French for more than 4 years, and I can't help but feel embarrassed myself because I'm also an American and not that great of a speaker. All I could think was, "This does not bode well for us Americans." Just how these foreigners are seeing us.

Today felt like the first day of spring, but only for a little while. The sun was shining finally, and you could really feel the warmth. And for a bit I didn't have to wear my scarf. Met up with Melissa and Kathy at Starbucks after my class, and we chatted it up for a while. Lots of students go there to study. And I mean seriously study. They had their laptops out and highlighters and various papers and books. Kathy had a newspaper, Melissa two books and a notebook, and I had my planner out and later some reading I had to do. But we mostly chatted. I can't study or do homework in groups. It's too distracting.

15 days

2008-04-02T05:08:00.004-08:00

Dropped off the girls at the airport this morning. Last night, we had dinner in. I cooked salmon, rice, and steamed vegetables. We had white wine, and for dessert rice pudding topped with raspberries. Delicious. We went to the Tour Eiffel around 9 when it's starting to get dark. I bought a ticket for the second floor while the girls got a ticket for the top floor. Since I've already been there, I brought my notebook and sat on a bench and just wrote while enjoying the view. I got a few weird looks from tourists.

I'm kind of glad the whole friends visiting is over, just because I really got into living alone and not doing tons of touristy stuff in short periods of time. It was weird getting different reactions from my friends who I haven't seen in a long time. Some were nice and others were kind of...let's just say that some don't like the new me. Paris me. But what am I supposed to do? Not change? Go back to pre-Paris me? It's just not possible. And I don't want to go back. I like who I am right now. I guess living in this city might have hardened me a bit, but I totally needed it. I was too soft, back then. I'm still soft in some ways. Kind of doughy, actually.

15 days until Italy!!! I'm very excited. After the airport, met up with Lucia, Kathy, and Melissa for lunch. We had pizza at St. Michel. I mentioned to Lucia that I wanted to get a small Italian phrasebook so me, her, and Kathy went to Gibert Jeune. I got one under 5 euros by Lonely Planet, and it even has a cd, so I can put the lessons onto my ipod shuffle. Sweetness.

Back to normals stuffs to do:
1. Loads of homework/Study
2. Clean
3. Mail letters
4. Get ready for Italy

Stuff sent home:
1. winter parka
2. winter accessories (save for 2 scarves)
3. assorted cds and books
4. notebooks and papers from last semester

city of love

2008-03-31T12:42:00.005-08:00

I was at the Louvre waiting for the girls outside behind the giant main pyramid. That's my meeting point for friends because it's not that crowded, and you can easily see who enters and exits the Louvre. Been pretending to be a spy to watch my friends leave the building. Felt spyish too with my trench coat.

I was sitting for a while, and this young American couple sits a couple feet away from me. I had my back to them. I have really good peripheral vision, so I notice the boyfriend on his knees. He brings out this brown box, unwraps it, takes out this ring, and puts it on his girlfriend's finger and asks, "Will you marry me?"

She says yes. How lovely that I got to witness that. It was just me and them and no one else. It felt really cool to be a part of that, to be a witness to love in one of the most beautiful places in the world. The Louvre's a funny place to propose to a girl, but it's not as played out as the Tour Eiffel. I'd probably say yes at the D'Orsay. Louvre's not so bad though.

They kissed and sat huddled together for a while before leaving. I love how small this act was. It wasn't some grand gesture. Nothing huge like a big screen proclaiming love was involved. It was just this guy on vacation with his girl and taking her to the Louvre. Simple is beautiful.

It's funny that this happens because I've been recently in touch with a friend who, at my age of 21, is considering marriage. I was completely knocked out. I don't know...21 just seems so young to get married. But that's just me. I always thought I'd finish school, travel a lot, work and be indie, and if a boy fits in there, a boy that's as indie as I am, who gets my stupid jokes and can stand me, then that would be cool. That's my plan anyway. Who knows what'll happen. Every girl is different though and wants different things.

I remember being taught by my English teacher that it depresses him when girls would rather have the guy than to travel or do what they've always wanted to do. That we don't need boys to complete us. I wish every girl felt the same way.

splurge on yourself

2008-03-31T01:10:00.001-08:00

Girls are on the way to the Louvre while I get some much needed study time/blog time. I have another test tomorrow, and this time I can't screw up. But it's hard to focus when your friends are in town and you need to show them around.

Took them to Arc de Triomphe, Sacre Coeur and Montmartre, and the Moulin Rouge yesterday. Also went grocery shopping up the street. They're really thrifty girls and I commend them for it, but I want to see them splurge on themselves on their vacation because I think they deserve it. They buy gifts for other people, but they haven't yet bought anything for themselves. They're so selfless, and I want them to be selfish.

Yesterday on the metro, I made the girls sit on some seats far from me while I stood, and these guys started to talking to them. At first I was wary, but it ended up being a good experience for them. One older guy said that Cher was very cute, and this younger college student guy who spoke English translated for her. Then when the college guy was getting up at his stop, he said to Cher, "He was right. You are very cute. Au revoir." I thought that was a lovely story.

Last night, we watched The Darjeeling Limited. Both of them fell asleep a few times, and that's understandable, they're tired and jetlagged a bit, but at the beginning of the film, one of my friends had her sudoku book on her lap and a pencil! That kind of hurt my feelings. Sometimes she'd peek into it, but whatever. Whenever I show a movie I like to a friend and she does stuff like that or doesn't want me to pause it for her when she goes to the bathroom, that kind of upsets me because then I can tell she's not giving her full attention to something you really like and she's not being open to the experience. Can you imagine what I'm going to feel when I show my first big film to someone and stuff like that happens? I'll probably go into a full on depression.

a productive first day

2008-03-29T09:27:00.015-08:00

Last night had the most awesomest impromptu dinner party with Cher, Char, Susie, Sarah, and Lily. The feast included the before mentioned roast chicken, potatoes, salad, bread (courtesy of Susie) and cheese, wine and sangria (courtesy of Lily and Sarah), and for dessert, my own concoction of crispy sugary pastry topped with vanilla ice cream with caramelised pecans and garnished with chocolate lady fingers (also courtesy of Lily and Sarah). I am Martha Stewart. Unfortunately, I only took before and after pictures.

Funny story. So, I shop at a different butcher now for chicken, the one that Lucia likes better and so do I because all the guys that work there are hot or were once hot maybe but are old now. They also cook an amazing chicken. They were closing up and cleaning, and hot butcher gives me my chicken and the receipt and I go pay inside. Then all my change in my wallet spills onto their floor, it sounded like Vegas. All the guys went, "OOOHHH!!! JACKPOT!!!" And they laughed in a goodhearted way, but I was so embarrassed. I had my money out in exact change, and I give it to the guy right after picking up my change, and he laughed and said, "Oh! C'est parfait!!" (It's perfect). I love paying in exact change. He told me to have a good night and see you soon. I left the lovely butcher men feeling the glow of schoolgirly happiness in my cheeks, a spring in my step.

Great dinner. We put the sangria outside on my windowsill to get cold. The girls asked Cher and Char what the weather was like back in so cal. After, we watched videos on YouTube, the feature of the night being Cher's breakdance battle with her boyfriend. It was too hilarious. We laughed so hard, me with tears in my eyes. We watched it again. Then we watched some dog videos that Susie liked and also Human Tetris videos. Good times.

Today, woke up pretty early. We walked up my street, to Notre Dame. We took funny pics, me and Cher, trying to hang from the bridge. Char wanted to stop because she saw people laughing at us. I didn't care, that made me happy. We walked inside as well. I took Char to Gibert Jeune and got her a fountain pen since I missed out on her birthday and Christmas.

Then walked to Jardin du Luxembourg. We sat in front of the fountain, soaking it all in. Took them to Crepes A Gogo for some galettes, a wheatier, healthier crepe that's filled with savory stuff rather than nutella. They loved it. Then treated them to cafe noisettes, which they also liked. Went to DuBois, an art shop, and I got Cher a quill and ink for her birthday/Christmas since I missed that as well. I love giving gifts that are inspired from my old-fashioned interests. I want to bring back the old ways as much as I can. Plus, they both really wanted these pens.
Went to the Pantheon and saw the tombs of Voltaire, Marie Curie, and others. Then we walked home. I took us in a giant circle so they didn't see things twice. I'm getting better at this host/tourist guide thing.

I am mean.

2008-03-28T08:54:00.009-08:00

Picked up my friends from the airport today. Cher emerged first, looking a bit worried and only holding a handbag. I ran to her and we hugged and asked what happened, and she said she couldn't find her luggage. They had been looking for an hour. I got into stressed mode sort of, took her to information and I asked what they should do. Then I said to her, since I couldn't go into the baggage claim area, "You go back in there and talk to US Airways and you be PERSISTENT! Don't come out without your luggage!"

How welcoming I am.

I never realized how mean I can be until after the fact. I blame it on living here. They're such sweet girls and I love them to death so I felt bad about forcing them to be super persistent. It's their first time abroad, and they don't know the ropes so well. But they will learn, by God they will learn. They finally came out, 5 minutes later, and with their luggage. I hugged them again like it was the first time I saw them.

Mom and Dad packed some things for me, mostly things I asked for like shorts and boardshorts. Like I'll be needing them soon, haha. It's raining right now. Dad also put a crapload of lens wipes for my eyeglasses. That was lovely. I know it was him because he always has those in his pockets or in his truck or sticking out of his backpack that he uses for work.

We sat in the airport for a bit so that they can rest, and I was presented with a gift: The Darjeeling Limited dvd. What amazing friends I have. I actually emailed Cher if she could get it for me, and then I said nevermind it's no big deal I'll get it when I go home, and then she surprised me with it anyway! God, I demand too much. Right when I sent out that email asking for it, I felt like such an ass because she's already bringing a crapload of my stuff here and back. God, these girls are amazing.

They're asleep right now--funny how I blog when most of my friends are asleep--but tonight I'm making a nice, roast chicken dinner courtesy of the butchers up the street who cook a mean chicken. Salad, potatoes, wine, bread, and ice cream for later. I'm salivating already.